60 seconds of being able to talk dog

[IndigoGusset]

Someone gives you 60 seconds of your dog being able to understand and hold a conversation with you.

What do you say?
What do you ask?

[KOKOagainandagain]

I would want it to be two way as there are so many questions I want to ask my dog. Eg, when we are in the kitchen, why do you stand facing the corner behind the door? I suspect it is because I lavish him with love when i turn from the sink and see his self-exclusion. But he is so loveable - I am codependent

[Wereallsquare]

This thread is so lovely it is making me cry so I can't read all at once. But I hope it ends up in the Classics so I can read a little at a time when I am feeling less fragile.

I would let her know my love is unconditional, why we go to the vet, that I will always come back whenever we are separated so no need to worry, and please tell me what I can do to make her life better.

[thaimelon]

This thread is so lovely!

I'd tell ddog that he doesn't have to bark and squeal to the point where people start questioning who his owner is when he is tied up outside the playground when I'm playing with DDs. Same goes for when I drop DD off at nursery or when running in to get a pint of milk outside the service station 🙄

I'd ask him what else could we do to make his life better/happier? And does he know how loved he is.

[Izzy24]

When I go out, do you remember that I, or someone else, always comes back very soon?

[IndigoGusset]

She is honestly the most entitled creature I've ever met

Good for DDog! Never settling for second best

[TheyAllFloat]

Do you remember your littermates?

This is a good one. I really want to know this too.

[JesusInTheCabbageVan]

I also agree that rescued dogs from poor backgrounds seem more grateful of their happy homes than dogs that have only ever know happiness. Like they know how bad life can be and love their happy homes even more for it.

Sometimes I think this. Other times I think Ddog is wholeheartedly devoting herself to making up for every single deficiency and perceived slight during the mysterious first year of her life. She is honestly the most entitled creature I've ever met - think she might actually be a cat.

[JesusInTheCabbageVan]

"You roll in things, you have shower."

I would just repeat that over and over for the whole 60 seconds. She'd still forget.

[Spidey66]

I love seeing your toys but do you need to show them to me all the time?
Who do you love most, me or daddy?
Which is your favourite park?
Do you remember your littermates?

[Eckhart]

We communicate pretty well, anyway, I think. I would check that with her, though, just to make sure. I'd make sure she knew that we will always be together and that she's the best dog in the universe. Also, I would explain about chocolate and raisins so that she wouldn't keep trying to eat them. I would ask WHY poo is so great to eat and roll in. And finally, I would stress to her that squirrels are NOT toys.

I think if she could speak to me, she'd say 'Is there anything to eat?'

[Wasail]

My darling girl, I really do respect your rock solid boundaries when it comes to personal care and I apologise that I really do have to frequently overstep those boundaries. If you wish to share my bed you must have a shower and regular grooming sessions. And I know that you insist on sharing my bed, as well as every other part of my day to day routine. Your nails need cutting for your own good, I am not deliberately attempting to torture you and no, I really won’t hurt you despite what you believe.
WasailDog is an opinionated little madam, she knows full well that she is adored and she does return the favour, on her terms. I think she may be part cat

[DuchessDarty]

When you do a poo in the garden could you please point at it so I can pick it up. I promise a treat for you every time you do that.

Oh yes THIS

[Gogolego]

I love you?
I know you're spoilt already but what else do you need/ want?
Can you please stop hogging the bed and stop being grumpy when I move you.
Where's your favourite walk?
Do you have an opinion about what your pedigree name for agility should be?
Help me decide which toys are your favourite and which ones aren't

[pigsDOfly]

IndigoGusset Yes, that's exactly what I did think

I'd love to be able to talk to her, well I do, but our conversations are very one way, although, she does have her own vocabulary of barks and looks to indicate what she wants me to do.

[Streamingbannersofdawn]

What are you barking at in the garden in the morning?
That's your tail...it's attached to you.
You know I love you right?

[MrsTerryPratchett]

Oh and thanks for running with me. The one time you don't bark at everyone is when you actually keep me safe. You plonker.

[MrsTerryPratchett]

You are safe. You will never have to be a stray again. You will always be with us. We will never ever hurt you or abandon you.

Now you know that you don't have to act like such a neurotic weirdo all the time. And no, no one is attacking the house. Those are perfectly nice people outside.

Thanks for making DD so happy.

[MyFartWillGoOn]

This thread has made me cry just thinking about how much I love DDog. Just had baby-hormonal! 😆

[katmarie]

I would tell ours:

I love you, and I'm so glad we have you.
I love how gentle you are with the children and how tolerant you are of them playing with you. I love that for a big 'fierce' dog, you're such a softy.
Please stop trying to sleep on our bed, it isnt going to happen. Please stop trying to steal food from the kitchen counters! Also why does your tongue hang out of the side of your mouth so much?

[IndigoGusset]

I love all these so much - so many loved dogs.

I especially like that you came back, pigs to add more to your message. Like you'd gone away and thought 'bugger, I forgot to tell PigDog something'

I also agree that rescued dogs from poor backgrounds seem more grateful of their happy homes than dogs that have only ever know happiness. Like they know how bad life can be and love their happy homes even more for it.

IndigoDog (who is our only non rescue) is the most entitled dog ever. He's only ever been showered with love and toys and good food and nice walks and seems to think they are his god given right (which they are )

[NetballHoop]

Please stop rolling in and eating poo. If you can do that I'll get you your favourite red tennis balls.

When you do a poo in the garden could you please point at it so I can pick it up. I promise a treat for you every time you do that.

When I take you to the vet it's so they can make you better. Please don't cower and growl at them. They are nice really.

[pigsDOfly]

Forgot to say in my pp that I'd tell her how proud I am of her lovely manners and how much I love her sweet personality and upbeat approach to life.

How happy it makes me to see her so happy when she's zooming around the house when we come home from our walks, although I think she knows that already as it always makes me laugh and when I laugh she does it even more.

She just so lovable.

[Velveteal]

That pulling doesn’t get you to where you want to be any quicker and that I love you and you’re such a good boy and when we go on holiday at Easter we’re coming back!

[GeraltOfRivia]

Stop chewing all the stuff that isn't yours.

When I call you the Spotted Dick it comes from a place of love

If you stopped pulling our walks would be nicer. I'm not going to stop you sniffing al the things.

You can't have al the food because we think you have allergies. We're not being mean. We are trying to stop you being itchy and in pain.

Then I'd throw in as many "I love you'd" as I could for the time left

[Lalala205]

Not so much 'speaking dog', but I wish she hadn't gone blind on point of stroke 90mins before pts. Hearing had gone 18mths before which was fine! We adapted and 'spoke together' all the time still... But her world closed off from all communication post seizure/last vet trip, and I know she was very scared for a very short time 😟 The 'smell communication' remained and that helped some. Dogs are such clever adaptable warriors bless them!... Bit of a downer post! But other Ddog? Yes, I wish I could ask 'why do you do the happy bone dance, then drop it when I give it to you? 🙄