Losing your best friend

[Doggymummy86]

Hey everyone,
It’s been 6 months since I’ve lost my best friend, he was my whole routine & life. I’m finding it so hard to be “normal” again. Even just seeing the little videos & pictures I took of him just brings back the hurt and pain all over again .... surely this Achy feeling has gotta get better ??!??? 💔 🐶 💙

[IvysMum12]

We were on a beach with our year-old Goldie when a seagull dropped a whole eight inch fish.
She caught it expertly, it went down without touching the sides, and reappeared on the restaurant floor an hour later.
The staff were so nice about it, and got an enormous tip, deservedly so.

[Topseyt]

My labrador was once on holiday with us in Wales and we were on the dog area of the beach. It was nearly deserted and there was a beached boat. He ran around it and returned to me with a carrier bag, which I took off him.

A man's voice nearby (I swear he had mushroomed up out of the sand dunes) suddenly asked me if my dog had just eaten his organic bacon fishing bait? Of course he must have! The carrier bag was empty. The bacon was in the labrador, who looked like butter wouldn't melt etc. Oops!

On another occasion we were on a summer walk near to home, in the middle of a field. He ran to the end of a hedgerow, looked to be sniffing around determinedly and wouldn't come back, so I had to go and get him. He had only found a young couple, half naked and doing what young couples do on hot sunny days when they think they are alone, and he was licking them madly. I don't know who was more embarrassed, me or them!? Certainly not labrador, who was having a whale of a time.

Or the time at agility class when he stood and piddled against my leg. It was a warm day and I was wearing shorts with trekking sandals and no socks. I had to leave the instructor holding onto his lead while I went to the standpipe outdoor tap to wash my legs and sandals.

[Doggymummy86]

For some reason my other half is the same ... we’ll talk about Murphy but not how he’s feeling ... men !!

[cheesewitheverything]

Can't read that. It's too sad and I'm watching tv with DH and don't want to have to explain! He doesn't want to talk about it...

[Doggymummy86]

I got sent this in the last days my boy was here.
It’s heart breaking 💔

[Doggymummy86]

That just made me cry .. but it’s so true 😭 there’s another dog out there that needs our love, care & a warm squishy bed 🐶

[cheesewitheverything]

Yes, that's the one! When I looked, the first one that came up was accompanied by the photo of a yellow lab just like mine. Made me cry a lot! I thought it was so good and expressed something I can't quite say. Any other time I'd say it was maudlin or cheesy, but I love it.

[Darklane]

Is this the one you meant?

[Doggymummy86]

My lurcher never went to bed without his chew stick, hot water bottle and being tucked in. Apparently when he was in the rescue centre that’s what they did to calm him down at night and that he never got out of that habit, after coming in from his last walk he used to sit at the door and wait while I got his bed ready 🤨 he had everyone wrapped round his finger. He also knew where his “treat” cupboard was and was able to open it lol it was like having a baby

[cheesewitheverything]

Definitely crazy dog lady here as well, Dogmummy. Our lab was always under your feet, always in the way, tripping you up and trying to be where you were. In the kitchen this was especially so, as he wanted to catch anything that dropped or you gave him from what was cooking. We made the mistake of giving him scraps and leftovers so was always hopeful of food whenever we ate. We now eat in peace and have leftovers!

[Doggymummy86]

I was beginning to think I was the crazy dog lady that thought he was my child ... I’m so glad I’m not alone.
I’ll try and lighten the mood a little ... what’s the funniest thing your fur babies did that you look back on and just giggle ?
My motto always is have a little cry then think about the funny times 🐶

[cheesewitheverything]

@Topseyt it really helps knowing other people go through the same thing. I've spoken with other dog people but usually they actually have dogs, so it's different. People do understand though, so it's good to talk about it. Thanks for this and also thanks to op for the thread. I hope we are all going to forget some of the worst of this soon. Have you all seen the poem or whatever it is 'the love I left behind'? It's a dog talking about giving your love to another dog when he or she has died. I'm no good st putting links, but google it. Made me cry buckets but expresses it so well.

[Topseyt]

Cheesewitheverything, yes, that is exactly how it was for us. I know it was the only decision we could have made, but it was still soooo hard, and heartbreaking.

Those drives to and from the out of hours vet were the very hardest drives if my life too. Knowing what we had to do once we got there, and then returning home knowing that he wasn't with us.

Tonight it hit me again. I took my DD to a friend's 18th birthday party and it turned out that friend's house is on the edge of a big country park where my labrador used to love going when he was young.

[cheesewitheverything]

@Topseyt I know just how that feels and our lab went down a very similar route. Up until the last 2 or 3 weeks he looked set to continue for years, just slower and slower. The end was quite a shock, even though he was old, because of that. He was so terrified at the vets, so nervous of where he was, it was awful. The vet was very kind but I just wanted it all over with quickly for him when we got there. And I agree, seeing him being carried in, was terrible. We came out and walked to the car without him, passing right by the window of the room we had left him in. Just heartbreaking.

[Topseyt]

Also, I will freely admit that I spent far more time with my dog over his 15 years than I did with many members of my wider family. So I was closer to him.

My neighbour said the same as you, OP. I understand it too. He said that the death of his dog was far more poignant to him that the deaths of some of his family, as he lived with his dog and he didn't live with them. You aren't alone.

[Topseyt]

You must remember OP, that you gave your boy a great few years. You came along to the rescue at just the right time for him and gave him a great home. Hang on to that. You were the family he needed and was waiting for.

I think taking on a rescue dog is a great thing to do. I may yet go down that route in the future, but for now finances have turned tight for us and I know that realistically we will have to remain at one dog for now.

[Doggymummy86]

You’ve literally just had me in tears 😭 it’s such a traumatic experience to go through - I don’t think I reacted this way when my dad passed away 😳
I’ll never forget having to take him to the vets, he walked in with a big waggy tail and giving all the vets & reception staff big kisses ... breaks my heart just thinking about it 🐶💙

[Topseyt]

I agonised about when the right time to say goodbye was going to be, but right up until a few days before he died my boy seemed OK. Creaky and stiff, but overall a happy plodder. His anti-inflammatory medication was working and he seemed comfortable. He liked his now short walks and was still eating well.

Then suddenly over Saturday night/Sunday morning his appetite just went (a sure sign of illness in a lab, as they are usually the arch foodies). To cut a long story short, by that afternoon he seemed totally unable to get up and walk. I knew then that we could go on no longer and would have to go to the out of hours vet for the inevitable. DH and DD having to carry him that evening was one of the saddest sights ever and we all knew it was the right decision to let him go.

I comfort myself that it all happened very quickly, and there was no time for him to suffer. I know too that I couldn't have lived with myself if I had tried to keep him going. That would have been purely selfish of me.

I will miss him forever. Only other dog owners really understand.

[Doggymummy86]

@cheesewitheverything your taking the words right out of my mouth, I feel so guilty thinking was it too soon but my head knows I probably left a little longer than what I should.

@Topseyt - I’m so sorry to hear about your Labrador 💔 my old boy was in a rescue centre for 3 years and I only had him for 6 years and for some reason I’m angry at myself for not thinking about going into the centre sooner and having more time with him. I know what you mean about the “dirty jobs” I found one of his balls under a hedge in the garden and I literally howled sitting on the wet grass. They certainly know how to steal your heart 💙💙

[Topseyt]

Even going out to do yucky jobs like clear the garden of dog poo can set me off, because I am no longer clearing up after him.

That makes me sound batshit, but it is true.

[Topseyt]

I am absolutely with you here. My 15 year old labrador had to be put to sleep just three weeks ago and the pain is incredible. I put on a brave face for the rest of my family, and to be fair they are supportive. Underneath it though I am howling in anguish.

I really can't believe he is gone, and although I am very grateful to have had him for so long, I currently don't feel that I will ever get over it.

We still have a cocker spaniel who is lovely, but dog walks just aren't the same without my old boy plodding slowly along too.

I truly hope to have another labrador one day, and I do keep browsing Labrador Rescue pages. I need to convince DH though. He loved the lab too, and I think he may come round in time, but we are going at different places and that is hard.

[cheesewitheverything]

Yes, the upside is also no hair drifting around the place as our boy was a lab and they put hair everywhere! He was also keen to greet us and be with us even when he must have been in a lot of pain. I also go over it in my mind about whether we made the decision to pts too soon and whether he could have had another month or two. I know he was in too much pain, but even so you just go over it don't you? I think I will only feel better when we have another dog.

[Doggymummy86]

I must admit the only upside to not having a dog is being restricted when we went out, but to me that wasn’t even that much of a downside. I don’t want to start getting into a routine where a dog doesn’t exist in it.
I’m always home from work before DH and coming home to an empty house is the worst feeling especially when Murphy was so bouncy, even at the very end he still had the energy to come and see me as painful as it was for him.

[cheesewitheverything]

When dh asks me what I want for xmas, I tell him there is nothing. He knows what I want!

[cheesewitheverything]

That's interesting your DP is feeling like mine. Friends have said just bring a dog home, but I couldn't do that, it would be so unfair. A dog is such a huge commitment and you only realise that once you've had one! I know what you mean about the xmas present for him as well as we have always done that and adult dd has always bought something for him as well. Heartbreaking. I'm going for a walk soon with a friend and her dog, which is lovely, but not the same at all!