Do we pay dog sitter? Our dog was put down before he was supposed to stay with her.

[BubblesBuddy]

I haven’t posted here before but I have a real dilemma.

Our dog was elderly (14): blind, deaf, suffering from dementia which affected his urinating habits and made him walk round in circles amongst other things. He wasn’t eating on some days and was wobbly and struggled to stand a few times. He was often disoriented and had become quite a lot worse in the last few weeks. We found him sleeping in his own urine one morning. We went to the vet about his medication and to ask the vet for advice because we were so worried about his enjoyment of life. After a lengthy discussion about what a dog should enjoy on a daily basis, we decided to consult with our family about ending his life, which we did 7 days ago. This was hard for everyone as you can imagine.

I texted our dog sitter who had had him regularly over 14 years telling her about the vet consultation and our dogs difficulties. I knew she would be upset. I also had to cancel him staying with her. He was due to go today. This would have been around £500 in fees. We felt we didn’t want to go on holiday with the decision hanging over us and our dog.

We now have a letter from our dog sitter basically asking for money to compensate for our dog not coming to stay. Over the last 13 plus years I have paid her thousands of £. I know she thought her insurance would pay but as he didn’t die with her, it won’t. What do we do? Should we pay something? Nothing?

Our DD who is a lawyer says the contract for her to look after our dog has been “frustrated” because our dog died. Also that as a self employed dog sitter, who only took cash, she has to accept cancellation due to ill health and death. I feel that I should have kept him alive for her benefit. So what do we do? Any advice on this difficult situation gratefully received.

[Eve]

Cash in hand only - does she pay tax on that income?

[justanothergirl111]

You can't pay someone who hasn't delivered on the service. Simple.

You wouldn't pay a self- employed babysitter who didn't end up looking after your child.

I would give her nothing. There is no contract in place so legally she can't make you pay her.

I know it's a sticky situation given that she has looked after your dog for many years, but now the dog isn't here she can't request the money as she didn't look after the dog THAT particular time.

[WillLokireturn]

Your latest update changes background context OP. I agree with previous poster now.

She looks after the OPs dog as a one off - apparently because the relationship is so 'special'. But not special enough to have a bit of compassion when the dog dies though..

[LolaSmiles]

With your update it changes things. I wouldn't pay at all. She's doing a cash in hand favour.

[MummytoCSJH]

I don't think you should pay her. This wasnt your choice. Your pet died and I'm sure you are grieving. Presumably, being close to the dog, she is sad too. She isn't running a business, she hasn't turned others away to be able to take your dog. People here are mentioning childminders if your child is ill - this is not the same - if my child died the last thing my childminder would be saying is that she expects me to pay for all the sessions my child would have been taking up but now isn't!

[namechangerreloaded]

Of course you COULD give her money to save the relationship, but she didn't seem to be too bothered about your relationship when she asked you to pay for dog sitting fees for your dead dog. I would give her nothing, and accept the end of that friendship. Even if you paid her, would you think of her in the same light? I'm afraid I would cut ties and ignore.

[ysmaem]

You say your daughter is a lawyer, can't she sit down with you and go through all the small print in the contract and try and work out what you have to pay? I think 50% of the fee is a reasonable amount to hand over and not the full £500.

[SlothMama]

I'm sorry that you've lost your dog and this is the last thing you would want to deal with right now. As she was doing it cash in hand and isn't a business I wouldn't pay her either, and if I were in her position I wouldn't dream of trying to charge you either! As you aren't getting another dog and won't need a new dog sitter I'd just say no and end the contact there.

[InfiniteSheldon]

You should pay her this is why there is such a divide between the rich and the poor in this country dont rip people off because you have a lawyer for a DD and she just has the compassion to do a job you were desperate to have done a fortnight ago, have booked and now wish to renege on.

[NoSquirrels]

On your update, I’m actually even more shocked she’s asked!

Fair enough, she may have had plans for the £432. But it’s clesrly not her business any more, it’s more of a favour when you go on holiday. Presumably you don’t go on holiday so regularly she’s relying on your income. And your dog was special to her. It’s heartless.

If you won’t get another dog so won’t need her ‘services’ then I’d go round with a nice bunch of flowers and stick £100 cash in a card “as a thank you gesture for all your care and attention over the years” and if she had the cheek to ask face to face for more money I would wear my most shocked and upset expression that she even expected more, let alone was asking.

I’m so sorry about your dog. I hope you have a wonderful holiday.

[timeforakinderworld]

Sorry about your dog. No, I wouldn't pay. It was her decision not to have a contract (or presumaby declare the money). She has to accept that.

[Contraceptionismyfriend]

I wouldn't pay at all. You were paying for a service that she will not be doing. There is no contract and I doubt she was declaring the income to HMRC.

[LolaSmiles]

You should pay her this is why there is such a divide between the rich and the poor in this country dont rip people off because you have a lawyer for a DD and she just has the compassion to do a job you were desperate to have done a fortnight ago, have booked and now wish to renege on.
Let me get this straight, the reason there is a divide between the rich and the poor is because someone in the OP's position might not pay someone who is not running a business and is accepting cash in hand for a favour for not doing the favour.

[ChardonnaysPrettySister]

I would pay £100 as a cancellation fee and a goodwill gesture, but not the full amount.

You had no contract and so no cancellation policy. I think under the circumstances it’s moof a goodwill payment from you.

[AlexaAmbidextra]

Cash in hand only - does she pay tax on that income?

How is this relevant to the circumstances? If she’s 70, presumably isn’t in employment then the occasional £500 from OP wouldn’t necessarily be taxable.

[BubblesBuddy]

I did not intend to drip feed. I was just responding to queries from posters about a contract and the arrangement we had between her and us. I think it is a bit unfair to complain about what I said when my OP was pretty long. No, she has not turned away other dogs. I have greatly appreciated her looking after our dog for all these years and he was very enthusiastic about going there until dementia set in and he did not know where he was.

NoSquirrels. No, she does not rely on our income and her DH has a very healthy pension with perks (free first transatlantic class flights - so it is not a class war situation) and although we have two good holidays a year, it is not so much money that can be relied upon. I do feel there are other lovely dogs that would benefit from her care, but she does not want them. I am sure she did have plans on spending this income from our dog. That is part of the dilemma.

I am also not going to apologise for my DD's job! DD says we do not have a contract which can be enforced because our dog is dead. DH is unhappy about paying anything. I feel the dilemma more keenly, hence posting. I very much doubt any of the dog income is declared for tax purposes as it has always been cash.

I am beginning to think £100, flowers and a card is what we will do. I feel quite exhausted after the stress of trying to make a decison when our dog's health was declining fast and I really feel we did the best for him but it now has had unfortunate side effects!

Thanks for the advice, everyone.

[NoSquirrels]

Please don’t doubt your decision about your dog - you did the right thing by him and no one in their right mind would expect you to delay that decision if it was time for him to stop suffering.

[cstaff]

In the circumstances I cannot believe that she is asking to be paid.

1. She is a friend.
2. She does not do this as a business so no loss to her as such.
3. If she loves your dog so much how could she even dream of pursuing this.

Some people really have no shame.

If it makes you feel better by all means give her the £100 and flowers but that would be it.

[NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1]

I wouldn't pay her because you have no contract and at no time did you agree to pay her if your dog died.

Sorry for your loss

[ChardonnaysPrettySister]

No card or flowers.
It's your dog who dies, why would you give her a card? She's demanding payment, so can't be too heartbroken.

[AMAM8916]

The more I read of this thread, the more angry I get. It turns out there was no contract, the dog sitter isn't running a business and also takes cash in hand.

At £432 for 3 weeks, she's charging £20 per day totally tax free. When you reach pension age and receive a state pension, you're meant to pay tax on all your earnings, you don't get an allowance of any sort.

I applaud pensioners that can find a way around the harsh tax system if they need to continue working but to ask someone who's dog died to pay you £500 for doing nothing, I just think is ridiculous!

At most, she bought some food for your dog in preparation. She can't be anymore out of pocket than that. She could just return the food or sell it quite easily.

I imagine if she hadn't been so heartless and sent a nice card saying sorry for your loss, you'd have gone round with some flowers and offered her a token payment but the way she has acted, she deserves nothing

[imalrightjack]

DO NOT GIVE HER ANYTHING!

You cancelled her services. You didn't have to give a minimum notice period as there was no contract between you - it was an informal agreement!

She is a CF to ask you for money for nothing when she is accepting cash in hand, and it's not a proper business!

She was essentially doing you a favour which she expected payment for! Especially as you dont even need to maintain the dog sitting possibility in the future. Just text her 'sorry, I'm not paying you for services not received'

DO NOT GIVE HER ANYTHING!

[EileenAlanna]

If you decide to give her any money don't identify it as a partial payment/compensation for dog sitting fees. Check with your DD if this would imply acknowledgement of a debt, which could complicate things.
Flowers & chocolates would be nice, clearly stating that they're a thank you gift in recognition of your appreciation for the 13 years she helped care for your dog.
I'd just ignore the letter asking for money.

[PuppyMonkey]

See, I work on a freelance basis and have several times had jobs cancelled or promised work not come through - I just have to suck it up. And that’s proper work I declare to HMRC too, not just an ad hoc favour for someone not running a proper business.

I would stand my ground and not pay anything at this stage.

[BubblesBuddy]

I buy his food. We have £80 worth of it here. It is special food. I agree about not saying it is part payment. Obviously I have not received any services, but I do respect that he was going there and she has less money.