Do we pay dog sitter? Our dog was put down before he was supposed to stay with her.

[BubblesBuddy]

I haven’t posted here before but I have a real dilemma.

Our dog was elderly (14): blind, deaf, suffering from dementia which affected his urinating habits and made him walk round in circles amongst other things. He wasn’t eating on some days and was wobbly and struggled to stand a few times. He was often disoriented and had become quite a lot worse in the last few weeks. We found him sleeping in his own urine one morning. We went to the vet about his medication and to ask the vet for advice because we were so worried about his enjoyment of life. After a lengthy discussion about what a dog should enjoy on a daily basis, we decided to consult with our family about ending his life, which we did 7 days ago. This was hard for everyone as you can imagine.

I texted our dog sitter who had had him regularly over 14 years telling her about the vet consultation and our dogs difficulties. I knew she would be upset. I also had to cancel him staying with her. He was due to go today. This would have been around £500 in fees. We felt we didn’t want to go on holiday with the decision hanging over us and our dog.

We now have a letter from our dog sitter basically asking for money to compensate for our dog not coming to stay. Over the last 13 plus years I have paid her thousands of £. I know she thought her insurance would pay but as he didn’t die with her, it won’t. What do we do? Should we pay something? Nothing?

Our DD who is a lawyer says the contract for her to look after our dog has been “frustrated” because our dog died. Also that as a self employed dog sitter, who only took cash, she has to accept cancellation due to ill health and death. I feel that I should have kept him alive for her benefit. So what do we do? Any advice on this difficult situation gratefully received.

[AMAM8916]

I don't think it's very fair that in a time like this, she has asked you to pay.

I've been self employed before and these things happen. Could you imagine if someone booked a childminder and a week before they were due to start with the childminder, the child got very ill or died and the childminder asked for the fee's?

Or another example, someone was going to be getting a new kitchen put in and a week before it was scheduled, they died and the company asked the family to still pay for the kitchen and labour even though the person wouldn't benefit?

It doesn't matter if she has lost money or not. Something happened outwith everyone's control and your dog has passed on. You have no dog for her to look after now so she has no service to offer.

If you want to use her in the future, maybe pay 25% of the fee's or something as a goodwill gesture but I would seriously wonder about using someone who can ask for money when someone's 14 year old dog died, a member of the family no less. It's very tasteless of her

[NoSquirrels]

In pretty much any business, canceling with a week to go would result in full payment.

Well, not any business - depends on the service. In some businesses you’d just lose the deposit, or a sliding scale of payment depending on how soon you cancelled etc. All businesses are different.

Anyway, if there are clear T&Cs, and a contract, then everyone knows where they stand. Without them, I think the dogsitter has to take on some of the financial loss because they haven’t protected themselves in a business-like way.

It’s a lot of money, but I do think asking for the full bill for services not received is a bit off, and a bit heartless too.

If you are self employee it’s your responsibility to build up a buffer for occasions like these, which will arise, and not the clients’ responsibility to feel sorry for you- without clear terms it’s just a promise of payment/service on both sides.

[larrygrylls]

I don’t know about the legal situation but I do think it is ridiculous that, if you have made thousands over years, you would try to charge in distressing circumstances.

Surely it is not beyond the wit of dog sitters (or vets) to keep a small amount of their profits aside as a sinking fund for just these circumstances. If they put £20 in a pot every time they earned £500, they would not have to charge loyal clients for legitimate cancellations,

Clearly this would be discretionary, but if you want repeat business and a good reputation, you have to show compassion.

[EleanorReally]

well there is a reason she has written and not called. can you pick up the phone and speak to her op. and clarify the amount?

[namechangerreloaded]

I don't think the comparisons to the employer/employee relationship are helpful. You are not her employer. You pay her for a service. I'm afraid I agree with your daughter, that running a cash in hand business offering a service, you have to be prepared that people can cancel that service often with little warning.

If she needed to protect the large income of your booking, she should have asked for a deposit, but even then I would expect (in these circumstances) that to be returned.

Of course it's unfortunate for her, but you do not owe her money.

I'm sorry about your dog.

[NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1]

What does your contact say?

[TildaKauskumholm]

As she only takes cash I would guess she is not declaring this income, so would also guess you have no written contract. If you wish to use her services in the future then maybe you should pay in full, if not then a token amount as suggested by PPs.

[TheInvestigator]

The thousands you have paid over the years do not help pay her bills this month, do they?

If her conditions state that you have to pay with the notice you gave, then you have to pay. This is her income. I don’t know many people who could be given £500 less than expected and simply be OK with that.

It is not her fault your dog died. She was still able and willing to provide the service, which you have cancelled. Pay her.

[TheInvestigator]

Perhaps she only takes cash to avoid people saying ‘I will do the bank transfer when I get home’ and then not paying her.

I take a lot of cash and at my business. I declare it all.

[BubblesBuddy]

Thank you all for your replies.

To add a bit more. The dog sitter is nearly 70 and we don’t have a contract. She decided to stop running her official business a few years ago but because our dog was special to her, she kept him on. I know she loved him, as we did, and that’s why we wondered if she did want to have him during our holiday which is over 3 weeks. I have recalculated what we would have paid and it’s not £500. It’s £432. £500 was her figure.

We are not getting another dog. DH is retiring and we have other plans. I don’t want to fall out with our dog sitter. DD is self employed and said she doesn’t get paid if a court case is withdrawn but I do want to be as fair as possible. Thanks for advice so far. Will discuss with DH.

[Redken24]

Sorry I wouldn't pay! You told this lady about the unfortunate news. Its absolutely shameful she still felt able to ask for the money. 70 or not! I'm appalled! Dogs are like part of the family.
Anyways enough emotion but if you have no contract then no don't pay.

[LaurieFairyCake]

No, I wouldn't pay. She is no longer running a business. I wouldn't respond at all.

I am actually running a business - if I allocated a couples session (marriage counselling) and one of the couple died even on the day itself then of course I wouldn't charge them. My cancellation policy does not apply in the event of death!

Basic human compassion and ethics state that.

[adaline]

I think it's pretty cheeky that she even asked you for money in those circumstances!

I'm so sorry about your dog

[Usingmyindoorvoice]

I think you should pay her, as you’d already budgeted for the expense. It’s too late for her to find a replacement ‘gig’ and not her fault. You also know she would have cared lovingly for your aged incontinent dog, who would have been had to place with anyone else.

[IamtheOA]

You should pay her something- come on, you know that the right thing.


Just out of curiosity, you didn't go on holiday- I'm assuming you still had to pay?

[Tonightstheteriyakichicken]

I am sorry you have lost your old boy. As to payment, it's not as if you cancelled at short notice on a whim. I would pay her something, perhaps £150 or £200 as suggested, not £432.

[IamtheOA]

PS- sorry about your dog... 😔

[saraclara]

The dog sitter is nearly 70 and we don’t have a contract. She decided to stop running her official business a few years ago but because our dog was special to her, she kept him on.

If she no longer runs a business, then yes, I think asking for the full amount is an odd thing to do.
In that case, I'd offer her half, to keep the peace. But I don't envy you the conversation at all.

[m00rfarm]

I would pay. Nothing to do with the contract, THey had expected to receive this money, you expected to pay it, so there should be no surprises either way. I am sorry you lost your dog but you absolutely did the right thing. FOr the 500, is there anything that is no longer required (food, or other tangible item) that can be deducted as no longer a cost for them? You can say that IF someone else takes the space, then you can be refunded.

[Nesssie]

No I wouldn't pay. I think its cruel she is even asking. When you are self employed, this is the risk you take. and if she isn't do it officially anymore its not like she had business costs to pay.

If your dog was that special I can't believe she is even asking you to pay £500 for a service for your now dead dog. Really cheeky imo.

You don't need her anymore so I wouldn't worry about souring the relationship - she has already done that herself.

[Nesssie]

You can say that IF someone else takes the space, then you can be refunded - but she's not doing it as a business anymore. She just looks after this one particular dog.

So she hasn't turned away other business for the OPs dog.

[TwattingDog]

I'm so sorry about your dog.

I wouldn't be paying her. If she does this on an ad hoc basis, no contracts, not a business then tough luck.

If she has a cancellation policy for her non-business, she should have been upfront about it.

She can't have it both ways - is she running a business or not?

[Nesssie]

Everyone posting about finding a replacement/turning away other business for the OPs dog - shes not running the business anymore!

She looks after the OPs dog as a one off - apparently because the relationship is so 'special'. But not special enough to have a bit of compassion when the dog dies though..

[Branleuse]

very cruel for her to ask for the whole fee in such distressing circumstances.

[TheInvestigator]

@Nesssie
Yes, but OP didn't divulge that piece of information until later in the thread. She could have easily said the lady was doing it as a friend and still wants paid, but she didn't. She phrased it that this was a dog sitter who needs payment. When people drip feed info which completely changes the circumstances into their favour, I take it with a pinch of salt.