Grandparents Dog

[KBHH]

AIBU? My parents dog is a lovely dog most of the time however she has a tendency to snap at my children when they are a little rough with her by rough I'm talking rough hugs or accidentally sitting on her or leaning on her. She has bitten and marked my DS1 three times and my DS2 only once and I've decided not to go round anymore. Neither child has been bothered by the dog and still aren't bothered. Also all bites have been more warning and haven't broken the skin as yet! My mom is obviously upset by this as she loves the kids. however I don't know what to do! We have dogs ourself who never do anything to either of my children and my children never really bother with them. The parents dog came along after our eldest boy so she should be used to children. My parents just won't understand why I won't take my children round anymore and don't seem to want to do anything to Change the situation! Help! Please no negative comments I know this post may get mixed responses but I feel sensitive about it all already.... the dog is only a JRT but I just don't want to risk anything worse happening!

Ime dc get complacent about how they treat their dpets. Hard for them to grasp what home ddog accepts /likes not all ddogs do. I put largest ddog away when dgs comes as although he is used to big ddogs as other dgm has some, he has a different 'routine' of play and mine don't like it. Not giving ddogs the responsibility of behaving around dc is important imo. As is dc knowing the 'rules' of ddogs.
The bottom line is your dps need to put dc first if they want you to visit.

My in laws Yorkshire terrier attacks everyone for no reason, it bit my leg as I was leaving the room, it was at the other side of the room and went out of its way to go for me! It does it to my kids and anyone that visits! We told them in the end if they wont put it in another room we wont be able to visit anymore as the kids hate the dog now and anyone who dares go round gets bitten and barked at constantly for no reason! They wont do anything about it, they wont even get a behaviourist or anything in, the most they do is have a lead that says nervous when they go out so we've stopped going! I told them they were welcome to visit ours as long as they don't bring the dog as I wont tolerate that behaviour in my home (and my lab wouldn't either) they never came yet moaned constantly about never seeing the kids 🙄

My dog doesn't like the dgc and gets stressed and snappy. The dgc are 6 and 2 and their can be very loud, and rush around. I've got a stair gate at the bottom of the stairs and I shut her on the stairs. She's happier there out of the way, and I know she won't snap at them. Really it's up to your parents to protect the dog.

It baffles me how anyone can put their pets before their children or GC! I love my dogs and my parents dog and my parents but children's safety should always be paramount!

Sorry children's and pets safety. Last thing I would want is the dog hurt too!

Avoid your kids being rough with the dog. Sitting on her and leaning on her? WTF.
Of course this dog will snap. She’s learnt that these kids don’t respect her space and may well hurt her.
Train your kids to act in a more humane fashion and leave the dog alone.
Poor bloody dog.

Wolfie you’re suggesting teach a 21 month old to act in a more humane fashion? It’s a toddler?!

Yes I agree training the kids is important but they’re just being kids! The clear solution is separation, then the dog will absolutely be left alone. Not bashing the OP for her parenting skills.

OP says both kids are rough. Eldest is 7. Clearly no one is stopping this crappy behaviour.
My mum has a little terrier. I used to sit between my youngest and the dog. I would never allow a child to grab or sit on a dog. The OP IBU

Hence why it's happened 4 times. The first 2 times the child was over friendly with the dog. He hasn't done it since. The third time was unprovoked and the last time was the toddler who the dog sat next to and when he stood up he put his hand on the dog! Not really crappy behaviour. Sometimes it's accidental!

You need to prevent accidents. Why did you allow the child to prove to the dog that they would hurt it? Not once but twice.
The dog doesn’t see this behaviour as “friendly”. Can’t you see that?

Of course it’s accidental OP. Obviously some doghouse posters’ children are perfect 🙄.

It’s not crappy behaviour, children at this age (toddlerhood) can’t gauge what’s rough, what’s not rough, what’s acceptable, what isn’t acceptable. They’re being too OTT, to put it simply, and the dog understandably finds it too much. My twins hug our dog a LOT and I tell them over and over to calm it, but in their minds they’re just loving on the dog. I separate them when they’re being too much.

That's really irrelevant now. Child learnt his lesson! And I'm trying to prevent further problems for kids and pets!

Thanks multiplemum5. Nothing is ever straight forward. And my children are good children overall. And I do correct my children too with our own dogs not that I need to very often!

Please just keep them separate until your children are able to behave properly around animals. I am concerned about your dog too, how long will he tolerate the behaviour? Please don’t leave children and dogs alone, no matter how much you trust your dog. They are still an animal and you don’t want to risk anybody getting hurt.

Can GP dog not go on a lead whilst children are there so it’s not shut away but you have more control?

You're wasting your time posting on here OP, you won't get any sense from this bunch of idiots. They haven't a clue what they're talking about, just regurgitating crap they've heard on other threads on here. Can't think for themselves!

If I were you I'd stick with what you're doing and leave GPS to their happy snapper.

It is relevant. The behaviour of your kids has taught this dog that they aren’t to be trusted. So keep them away from the dog.

I don't leave my DC with my own dogs EVER!

Seems there are lots of logical Answers however seems I may have to do just that and stay away unfortunately. It's best for both parties.

Thanks wolfiefan but I think that's exactly what I'm Suggesting?

But you’re blaming the dog and your parents.
It’s your fault that this dog feels so threatened that it ends up biting.

I'm not blaming the dog! I'm blaming my parents for their attitude towards the situation and not agreeing with me to try and prevent it happening 😔

Something that has started to stick out to me, ever since I started watching and paying attention, is how often (some) dog owners, of much loved pets, are totally unable to recognise when a dog is uncomfortable.

Averted eyes, lip licking, yawning, micro freezes, blicking, head turning, leaning away, walking away (if allowed), turning away.

9/10 times, the humans 'get away' with whaatever they are doing because of the dog's tolerance and because dogs hate conflict and so will tend to 'put up' with something rather than cause a fight. And because their otherwise good relationship with the dog gives them leeway.

It's still worth looking for in our own dogs, though. Do something (e.g. stroke the dog) for 2-3 seconds and then stop. If the dog liked it, he/she will do something to ask for more. If the dog doesn't ask for more... this could be a sign the dog didn't care for it, or actively disliked it.

I've started to lose track of 'cute' dog and children photos in which the dog is clearly, very uncomfortable and the owners/parents are oblivious.

Back to the OP, keeping dog and children seperate sounds like the best option. Either by not going round (as you are) or by not allowing scenarios like the toddler sat next to the dog. This dog cannot cope wth children. This is neither dog or child's fault.

We always put the dogs in the kitchen when the GC`s come around, the old dog is deaf and the children can startle him. Having said that they are taught to be gentle with dogs. I cannot believe your parents do not put the dog away for his own comfort and safety. Our young dog adores the little ones because they throw balls etc. for him.

I cannot believe your parents do not put the dog away for his own comfort and safety

I agree with this. Seems like dog, children and OP would be much happier (and safer) if this were done.

It’s not their fault. The kids are yours. It’s up to you to ensure they never bother this dog or any other.
I agree with battenburg.