Best dog for an autistic 12 year old?

[Strychnine]

I am considering getting a dog as my 12 year old DD is desperate for one and I think it would be really beneficial for her. She has high functioning asd and associated high anxiety. I work 4 days a week but am happy to get either a dog walker to come in on those days or use dog day care. I had a rescue border collie in the past who had a lot of undisclosed issues so I am wary of getting another rescue dog. I also do not want a puppy as I don't think it would be fair. I spoke to Dogs for Good who gave me some helpful advice and ideally I am looking for an animal around 14 months as that is the age they start doing autism specific training.

My DD is particularly taken with Leonbergers and Bearded Collies but I am open to any suggestions. I am also prepared to be told not to get a dog if that is most sensible! We would need a calm, gentle, friendly breed who also is ok with cats. What things should I be thinking about? I am not going to do anything on a whim so ideally would be looking to get a dog over the summer holidays when we are all home so that it can be settled in.

There are plenty of places to exercise a dog within walking distance and I am not house proud so shedding, clumsiness etc is not a problem. I am personally not keen on small dogs as a family member had a very yappy, bitey Jack Russell. Friends had chihuahuas who all seemed too highly strung for our needs. I am open to reconsidering though. Any thoughts or suggestions very welcome please!

[Strychnine]

I do think a dog would be a positive addition to our family and that we could be the right family for the right animal. Talking to others as well as on here is making me think that I need to seriously consider altering my work hours and trying to meet the criteria for an ex Guide Dog candidate. I am lucky that I could build in chunks of working from home and that would benefit any dog we chose to get anyway.

All of us would like different breeds so until all four of us work from home (and the kids contribute financially!) I am going to pull rank. I foresee a houseful of dogs of varying sizes and breeds in the next few years though 😁

To those of you who also have children with additional needs thank you for sharing your stories and positive experiences. And thank you again to all for sharing your wealth of knowledge.

[HoHoFuck]

Hi OP. I'm not sure if it was you who asked how to choose a breeder: definitely KC registered, yes, but I'd do a shortlist from major dog shows. Dogs who qualify to Crufts, etc are very good even if they don't place, and it's always a good thing that dogs are shown.

Have a look at their websites - what tests are performed, what are their facilities like (I personally don't like breeders that keep dogs in kennels, for example), send some emails talking about your situation. It's possible those breeders will point you in the right direction.

I agree that getting a 14 month dog in the summer months is very specific - I think your best bet of acquiring a young adult will be retired females, usually aged around 4 years of age, or dogs that didn't quite make the cut for showing but that are still amazing dogs.

Good luck!

[Ilovecrumpets]

Hi @Strychnine

This probably sounds a bit bonkers on a thread about dogs but just wanted to mention that if you decided a dog just wouldn’t work for your family - I wanted to mention to consider getting a Burmese cat.

Obviously not suggesting a cat is in any way the same as a dog - but I have a DS who suffers from anxiety and is being assessed for ASD. He was desperate for a dog but I just couldn’t make it work with our family so last year got a Burmese kitten - as they are often described as relatively dog like cats.

Anyway the cat has made a HUGE difference to DS and is completely obsessed with humans and human company - so greets DS every day after school, sleeps with him, loves being cuddled and handled and always actively would rather be with DS ( so is always wherever he is and follows him from room to room), plays fetch and even walks on a lead in the garden. Purrs as soon as spoken to and loves playing and learning tricks.

As I said obviously not a dog and I wouldn’t in any way pretend it is a like for like subsititute but have to say is the most human focussed cat I’ve ever met and lives for human attention ( I do appreciate you can get moggies like this but Burmese are reknowned for loving humans). Tbh if I didn’t have kids I’m not sure I’d have a Burmese as I find him a bit much!

[Lougle]

We have a GSD X Retriever who is fantastic with our 3 girls, one of whom has SN and another has ASD. We also have a Burmese X cat, who is best friends with our DD2, who has ASD, so I'd agree with Ilovecrumpets, there!

[Stopwoofing]

I’ve a lovely retriever and even as a really old dog he’s wonderful with the children, but I do think you need specialist advice, mine was high energy and needed to run daily for a good hour before he was ancient. A lovely Burmese/people friendly cat is a good and lower maintenance choice, both of them are hugely calming for us.

I do agree pet ownership benefits children in general.

[Stopwoofing]

Yes crumpets I’ve a Bengal cross and she loves my dd and is never far away from her, sleeps ok her pillow at times - dd pampers her, she currently has 10 cat beds set up for her in her room.

[KateGrey]

I’ve got two dds with autism and we’ve recently got a puppy. He’s a poochon. We looked at rescues but my youngest can be very loud and is very unpredictable. Our boy is amazing. We came across him by fluke really and he was the last pup. He is amazingly tolerate. My youngest cannot talk, screams a lot and can be very noisy in general. He is brilliant with her. He’s so patient and calm. He’s nearly four months now and although it can be hard he is lovely. We’re looking to train him as a therapy dog so other children with Sen can benefit from him.

[Strychnine]

Thank you for the additional suggestions and for sharing your experiences. We have a lovely cat who seems to think he is a dog at times and he is great with and for DD.

I have continued with real life research and a plan is coming together. The advice and suggestions on here have been really helpful in narrowing down options and giving me lots to think about. It will all take time to get the right dog for us all but I shall post photos when it happens 😁

[Serin]

We have a Llhasa Apso, the breed was recommended to us, as at the time we had a DS who was dog phobic, to the point where he was reluctant to leave the house in case he met a dog.
Llhasa apsos are like bigger studier shitzhus. Gorgeous to look at, non shedding, originally bred by Tibetan monks to reduce stress. They are clever and ours was v eazy to train. Ours is robust enough to come on all day hikes with us or is equally happy to spend all day lounging around on the sofa.
He adores our cat, they sleep cuddled up together.
We have him trimmed short once a month/6 weeks but other than this we do no grooming at all, it's a myth that they need daily combing. Ours is never matted or untidy.
I work part time, at first he would go to a dog day care centre but as he got older he seemed to become quite reluctant to be left there (think he was losing patience with all the daft puppies) so now he stays home alone (with his cat friend) and crosses his legs until we get home.
They are also one of the healthiest and longest living dog breeds.
I personally would avoid sight hounds and terriers if you have a cat.
Good luck.

[fleshmarketclose]

I have two children with autism. When dd was 11 and ds 19 we got Eric a poodle shih tzu cross. Ds and dd love him but they hated the puppy years and really only enjoyed him once he'd matured was sensible and did as he was told. Eric lives with exh but is a regular visitor here.
Because dd was really struggling not having a dog full time I started looking at rescues and we now have Bella who is a nine year old Lhasa Apso. Bella is the perfect dog for dd and ds tbh, she is undemanding but laps up any attention and will happily sit on knees for hours on end.
Eric is pretty smart and so needs some challenges or else he gets bored and then he looks out for mischief and dd struggles with that because it makes her anxious. Bella is a nice but dim dog and so more content and is a fantastic companion to ds and dd and does wonders for their anxiety because she is low arousal.
I tend to think you might be better looking at rescues, specifically those that use foster homes and let the rescue find you a dog that best meets your family's needs tbh because within specific breeds there is such a huge variation in temperaments even amongst the same litter.

[fleshmarketclose]

@serin Bella is groomed every six weeks and cut short and doesn't need brushing daily either and never mats. Agree with you, our lhasa Bella is a fantastic dog, hardy for long hikes and happy to be on your lap when she gets home. Even at 9 she is mistaken for a puppy because she is full of life and is a tiny 4kg dog. This a picture dd took on her 9th birthday

[Serin]

fleshmarketclose She is beautiful and much smaller than our chap who is almost twice her weight. The vet did wonder if he has a bit of something else in him.

[fleshmarketclose]

Serin poor Bella has had a rough life and was repeatedly bred from, probably because she is tiny. You have to wonder whether she was bred from so early that her growth was stunted. Added to which she was really underweight when we got her as well as flea infested and matted so can't imagine that decent food was a priority either.