Best dog for an autistic 12 year old?

[Strychnine]

I am considering getting a dog as my 12 year old DD is desperate for one and I think it would be really beneficial for her. She has high functioning asd and associated high anxiety. I work 4 days a week but am happy to get either a dog walker to come in on those days or use dog day care. I had a rescue border collie in the past who had a lot of undisclosed issues so I am wary of getting another rescue dog. I also do not want a puppy as I don't think it would be fair. I spoke to Dogs for Good who gave me some helpful advice and ideally I am looking for an animal around 14 months as that is the age they start doing autism specific training.

My DD is particularly taken with Leonbergers and Bearded Collies but I am open to any suggestions. I am also prepared to be told not to get a dog if that is most sensible! We would need a calm, gentle, friendly breed who also is ok with cats. What things should I be thinking about? I am not going to do anything on a whim so ideally would be looking to get a dog over the summer holidays when we are all home so that it can be settled in.

There are plenty of places to exercise a dog within walking distance and I am not house proud so shedding, clumsiness etc is not a problem. I am personally not keen on small dogs as a family member had a very yappy, bitey Jack Russell. Friends had chihuahuas who all seemed too highly strung for our needs. I am open to reconsidering though. Any thoughts or suggestions very welcome please!

Labs and retrievers are coming up because they’re the preferred breeds for assistance dogs - with good reason to be fair...

But...

What will you do if you get a dog and it isn’t suitable for what you want?

Guide dogs for instance are specially bred, trained pretty much from birth and they still have dogs that fail the training.

I think if you are interested in training a puppy, you should look at companion dog breeds. Working dogs are great, BUT they are lively and intelligent...
I am incredibly biased and suggest a Tibetan Terrier. They are great dogs, absolutely adore their humans and very good overall when trained correctly. But I also have a warning about them (and puppies in general), Tibetan Terrier Puppies are a pain in the backside! They need firm and consistent handling ... for the first 14-16 months. Be sure that you and your DD are really ready for a puppy.

DD is old enough and able enough that we won't need the same level of reliability that say a guide dog would be required to have. I have thought about this though which is one of the reasons why a slightly older dog would be best as their personality is less of an unknown. Though this is also why I would need any dog to come from a reputable source where as far as possible I can get an honest and complete history. It might actually be that a dog who has failed that training might work. I hadn't thought of that but will contact Guide Dogs for the Blind tomorrow and talk with them. Lots of food for thought here which had been brilliant.

I am definitely not getting a puppy! I have teens in addition to DD and they are enough of pains in the backside 😁

I would adore a wolfhound, but sticking to greyhounds at the moment (please go and have a walk with some - I know you'll fall in love).

We don't meet the criteria for owning ex-Guide Dogs having checked their website due to me working out of the home, which makes sense as they are used to being with people all the time.

There's been a few issues over food, some where the dog has stolen one of the children's things and they haven't understood why, and even one where a dog had growled at a teenager and was sprayed in the eyes with air freshener - I do only foster Beagles though so obviously scent hounds with food obsession!

It sounds like you've done lots of thinking and have lots of great suggestions x

Round of applause for @missbattenburg - excellent post!

I also think that being food oriented is an advantage (within reason!); makes training much easier. I wouldn't go for a greyhound or lurcher for an assistance-type dog - lovely as they are, they tend to have a high prey drive and their recall often leaves a lot to be desired.

I wonder whether a guide dog/hearing dog which didn't quite make the grade might suit you? They have very high standards and as a pp said, a lot of them don't make it through the selection process. They are still great dogs with lots of potential and will have had their basic training. Might be worth finding out about?

Might be an idea to get on borrowmydoggy and take some dogs out for a walk to see whether there are certain breeds/traits that your dd is drawn to.

Cross-posted with your post about guide dogs! Bugger.

Thank you for letting me know. There is only one toy that is of huge importance but I will certainly keep that in the front of my mind. One of my sister's dachunds did eat a less favoured toy when DD was much younger and was pointedly (to the humans, the dog seemed oblivious) ignored for a week. I am glad that you have reminded me of that possibility though. DD didn't retaliate in any way even when younger and less emotionally regulated than she is now. The hurting a dog through annoyance is not something I would worry about as she is very aware of how to treat animals and gets extremely upset at any cruelty towards them. She has been taught from a young age how to approach dogs and how to see signs that they are becoming unhappy or uncomfortable in a situation. Bless her, she can read dogs far easier than she can people!

I am certainly veering more to the when rather than the if but am even clearer now about ensuring the right match for us all rather than putting any time frame in place.

The high prey drive is what has always made me cautious of having sight hounds. Good recall is very high up my list of priorities in any dog and a food oriented breed should be easier to train around that as well with other things. I think I might call the Guide Dog people anyway tomorrow to chat about how they decide on what they look for in the parents and what makes a potentially good pairing.

Okay, if you need good recall I would discount a sighthound, we don't let ours off lead unless they're in a contained area.

I am biased as I have two lovely lurchers of my own, one of whom is amazing with anyone with anxiety (and has an amazing affinity for people with dementia), and another who is incredibly empathetic - and neither have any prey drive. Both recall well.
I foster puppies for a lurcher rescue and in all the ones we have had, only two haven't been trainable around our cats and chickens - this is a different matter for adults who have very often been incentivised to chase and catch, wheras often puppies come in when they haven't shown prey drive. All the dogs at the rescue I'm involved with are in foster homes so we really do know what they are like in all sorts of situations, so I would very much advise talking to a foster based rescue.

Labs and retrievers are a popular support dog for a reason however....

You absolutely must make sure you buy from a reputable breeder, like every breed there are issues which are mainly created by over breeding and poor care.

I grew up around lots and lots of dogs as my parents owned a boarding kennels. We saw several black labs with serious aggression, brown labs that had no recall and were easily over stimulated as well as incredibly bouncy.

Golden labs and retrievers were generally more docile.

They are big dogs though so again bad breeding has caused hip problems.

Have you considered looking into rehoming a withdrawn guide dog puppy? Most of them are lab x retriever which is a lovely mix. Plus you'd be getting a young healthy dog that while may not suitable as a guide, will still be past the small puppy stage and generally well trained. I'm not sure what the waiting list would be like as lots of them go back to their puppy walker.

Oops, sorry, I missed the update about not being suitable for a withdrawn GD...

I would say greyhound but along with other sighthounds i wouldn’t trust them round cats. It’s pure instinct to chase the furry thing.

Staffies- yes, great family dogs.

Personally i am a huge yorkshire terrier fan. Proper dogs, just a small package. Portable, easy to train, as much or as little walking, and so very comforting on the end of the bed or sofa when you need a cuddle.

Op - I'm interested in this.
We have a Border Terrier and a Sprocker Spaniel. Dd 13 ASD loves the border soooo much.

We looked into getting him trained up for dd but the cost was ££££. Can I ask what price you've found to train the dog and through which company / charity? Thanks. Sorry if that's too nosey - feel free to ignore!

Are there top tips for finding a reputable breeder? I have started by looking for Kennel Club registered ones. Not sure whether to then disgard all those breeding more than one breed and wasn't sure if to also avoid those with 5 plus litters.

I would want to visit and meet the parents as well as seeing any current litters even if looking at an older dog. I would also want to know why a dog had been returned. Too many being returned might indicate that they let anyone buy their dogs rather than ensuring the right home. Health certificates/vet records are also important for me to see. I am going to try to talk to a couple of vets I know once I am sure of a breed to get their views. It may be that they know of either good places to look or even a suitable dog. They know our family so I trust them to be brutally honest too.

I am also going to contact some breed rescues who foster before rehoming as that seems a really sensible way of finding out about a dog and making sure we would be the right family for it to be with for the rest of its life. I certainly wouldn't want to uproot and then return an animal that had already been through that before.

Houselikeashed, I spoke to someone at Dogs for Good who was very helpful. If you go on their website you can find a list of training courses under the Family Support Dogs link. I think they said £60 for 3 sessions but don't quote me on that. You get ongoing phone support from them too.

We have a Labrador who we got specifically for our autistic DS when he was 10 (now aged 13). We were going to get her properly ASD trained, but having done the normal puppy training we decided that she didn’t need anything more specific. She and DS absolutely adore each other and she totally ‘gets’ him. If he’s having a meltdown we’ll send her up to his bedroom and there’s immediate silence. She lies down with him, lets him cuddle her, lets him bury his face in her fur, and even gives him deep pressure by partly lying on him!

DS boards at a special school during the week so she has a very lazy time as a ‘normal family pet’ when he’s gone, though they do FaceTime regularly when he’s at school! (She doesn’t really see his face on the screen but loves hearing his voice.) Their friendship is the most beautiful thing and we now can’t imagine life without her.

The RSPCA have some guidance on finding a good breeder www.rspca.org.uk/adviceandwelfare/pets/dogs/puppy/breeder

The difficulty you will have is finding a non-rescue, 14+ month old.

I think if you are set on not having a puppy then a rescue or guide dog that didnt pass the training would be your best bet.

Thank you I will look at that guidance. I don't think getting a puppy would be fair to it unless I can rope in quite a lot of family support. A rescue that places dogs with foster homes seems like the best place to start but I don't want to discount anything yet. At least I now have a breed in mind which is focusing my thoughts.

Again, many thanks to all the people here who have given me great ideas and suggestions as well as made me examine my motives and see things from different angles.

I love staffies but am wary of the way some have been treated and bred for all the wrong reasons. I shared a house with one many years ago and he is still one of my all time favourite dogs. I would also be a bit concerned about how more ignorant adults might react as people have a lot of misconceptions about them. That would definitely distress my child.

Reactions from others when walking a Staffy are almost overwhelmingly positive, I think people go out of their way to be nice to them. It's rare I go a walk without overhearing a positive comment, it's common to get "Can't not say hello to a Staffy!". I've only once or twice come across a child that's shied away (because they don't like any dogs) and it's more common to get a child come up and ask, "Please can I stroke your dog?"

History can have a bearing on an individual dog, but most Staffys just want to be loved. There always seem to be younger but older than puppy rescue Staffys available, with less length of history behind them.

My daughter is now 20 and has severe learning difficulties. We have had 4 family dogs over the years, (currently have 2 greyhounds) and each has taken on a role in supporting her in different ways. We currently have a very attentive dog who loves attention and will always sit with her and a more aloof one who still can entertain with giddy moments. She loves being around the dogs and helping with them.

We got dogs because I wanted them and love walks etc but the role they all seem to take with my daughter has been a huge and unexpected bonus.

I'm not especially advocating for greyhounds. We have a cat and whilst one is cat tolerant, the other really isn't, which brings a different set of challenges! I don't think the breed (within sensible reason) will matter compared with a dog's personality. Good luck finding the right one!