DH wants to rehome puppy - how will it affect him?

[AppleStroodles]

By him I mean puppy, not DH...

He is 10 months old and a labradoodle and is just lovely but DH would like to re home him due to excessive shedding (about half a carrier bag full every 2 days which he says it making DS's eczema worse), separation anxiety (can't be left alone for more than an hour) and nervousness (he wees everywhere whenever a man he doesn't know comes into the house)....

He has said we can keep him if it's going to upset me that much to re home him (it will) but is it fair to keep him when DH doesn't love/want him? I love him so much but I want him to be happy so I'm really torn.

He has been well socialised, has lots of friends and gets plenty of excercise. He is great with our DC and other dogs so I don't think it would be hard to find him a loving home, but how would re homing affect him?

I can't bear the thought of him being in kennels even for a night so would want to re home him to someone we know or someone close by where I know he will be happy, safe & loved.

[MothershipG]

If you could be absolutely certain of finding a good home for your dog I actually don't think rehoming is that traumatic an experience for many dogs. But the dog is your responsibility and I'm not sure how easy it would be to find a great home for a heavily shedding, adolescent labradoodle, with possible separation anxiety and nervousness/house training issues?

[frustratedworkingmum]

It would in an ideal world, but he has behavioural issues, he is not going to be easy to find a suitable home for. If this were my dog i would have to do my very best to make sure it worked. I would be having allergy tests done to find out once and for all if the dog was excacerbating any allergies and base my decision on that, but this may not have a good outcome for the dog.

I took on a dog about 10 years ago now that was the age of your dog - he was from battersea, he was an absolute nightmare, bit me, couldnt be left. Battersea told me this was quite common in dogs of this age that owners got rid of, it happens alot, they hit the "teenage" years and those puppy traits aren't quite so attractive in a six stone animal and people get rid. Kennels full of them, its heart breaking.

Have you got a DAP diffuser for the dog? This MAY help the separation anxiety, it releases dog pheremones which are calming, we got this for our dog when he was displaying stress behaviours. You realise that his shedding could be due to stress too? What are you doing to combat the separation anxiety?

Why is he nervous of men? Have you had him from a puppy?

[frustratedworkingmum]

But branluese, the dog is nervous and that often leads to aggression, as an ex vet nurse it was always the nervous dogs that we were most wary of.

I think you need to stand up to your DH on this one, you both agreed to the dog i assume even if it wasn't his idea - its your responsibility.

[AppleStroodles]

I just shudder at the thought of him alone in a dogs home. I would have to be sure he was going to a good proper home, I would rather keep him with a moody DH than let him go to a dogs home. I would also like to meet the family he was going to which is why I thought it would be good if I could rehome him locally, but if the labradoodle trust are reputable then that would be the best option.

Can a dog be really happy when re homed or does it cause mental health problems??

[frustratedworkingmum]

thesecondcoming she should have maybe considered her sons excema before she got a dog

[frustratedworkingmum]

A dog can be happy rehomed, my dog was very happy for the rest of his life. I took him in wiht his issues (food aggression in a rotwieller) and worked on it. I wouldnt take your dog on though, not with nervousness issues.

I'm sorry if this is not what you want to hear but its the sad truth of the matter.

I woudl definately contact the labradoodle trust as they MAY have suitable, vetted homes, lined up. I can only repeat what others have said about the whole rehome locally thing. how can you be sure tht the new owners will be able to cope with yoru dogs issues?

[AppleStroodles]

He's always been nervous of men, he's better than he was but as a tiny pup he would growl and bark, I don't think he likes the deep voice and height. Hes never had a bad experience, only with other dogs and he just bounces back from those.

He's never bitten anyone and is okay with some men who he will follow around and lick, others he barks and wees all over the floor and then hides in his crate.

[AppleStroodles]

He's absolutelyfine with men now when we're out, he never reacts badly, he only gets nervous in our house and that's not with every man. Maybe he feels his territory is being threatened?

[frustratedworkingmum]

Has your DH beaten the dog? That is not a natural behaviour in a pup :(

Maybe rehoming him would be better after all

[AppleStroodles]

No he's never beaten him

[frustratedworkingmum]

I agree that IF the dog is causing the allergy then id rehome too, of COURSE the DS has to take priority, but i would need to know that this was the case and be paying for an allergen test.

The poor DS is going to be devestated too if they get rid of the dog.

[needastrongone]

Workingmum. You make fair points, apologies. I had a puppy wobble at Xmas after having been so ill, struggling to recover for weeks and feeling I couldn't cope. Dh was wonderful and put me and my feelings first, despite adoring the puppy from day one. Our puppy has no issues, apart from playing dead for laughs at every opportunity at present!!! Not the same situation at all, a short term feeling on my part, just wondered if op's dh was feeling same. I love our dog to distraction now btw!!!

[frustratedworkingmum]

How do you train the dog? Does your DH shout at the dog or try to "dominate" him - show him who's boss sort of thing?

[AppleStroodles]

DS has never had a problem with dog hair before, the doctor said unless he was allergic then it wouldn't affect his eczema otherwise we wouldn't have got a dog... I don't know whether his sudden heavy shedding is the reason, DH thinks it is, it could just be a coincidence.

[AppleStroodles]

We train him with treats. I spoke to the breeder about it and she told me our pups Mum used to wee on the floor when she was told off so perhaps it is genetic nervousness????

[frustratedworkingmum]

Lets hope so needsastrongone - i think puppy wobble is very common :) I had it several times with my juvinille delinquent ten stone puppy that tried to eat me once when i tried to get in my own car But with a lot of love and patience, he came good. I have to admit he was sitting in the car waiting to go back to battersea more than once :)

[frustratedworkingmum]

Dogs tend to hve two big moults a year so could it just be that the dog is doing a big moult at the moment?

I am incredulous that a breeder bred from a dog that used to urinate with fright when she was told off!! Totally irresponsible - was she a proper breeder? as in kennel club registerd, lots of experience, breeding good examples of the breed or was it abackyard breeder? I reputable breeder would never breed from an excessively nervous bitch. I bet she charged a fortune for the dog too :(

[frustratedworkingmum]

Yes, you are right there TSC - i would be having allergen testing done. Also,are you absolutely vigilent about fleas (i admit im a bit crap about keeping up to date with frontline etc and only tend to deflea when i notice live fleas) as it can well be the flea dirt that your DS is allergic too?

[AppleStroodles]

I actually feel really angry about the breeder, I don't think she was entirely honest. I also am now quite anti poodle cross breeding due to the number of irresponsible breeders, it has been a real eye opener. I had no idea that there was a difference between BYB and reputable breeders, I don't think many people do TBH.

[Floralnomad]

TBH you said your husband said keep him if it would upset you ,yet your posts look increasingly like you want to rehome . If you love your dog ,the fact that your husband is ambivalent wont affect him . My husband has very little to do with our dog except if I'm out and I'm sure my dog feels very much loved and wanted.

[frustratedworkingmum]

My DP is allergic to cats, but not all cats, i would love to have a cat and have even joked about getting a hairless one but its not actually the fur that many folk are allergic too, they are allergic to the saliva, but of course cats are always cleaning themselves so their fur is covered in cat spit :)

[AppleStroodles]

I just want him to have a happy loving home where everyone in the house wants him there

[needastrongone]

Love and patience seems to work well working mum, the slightest hint of frustration on my part and our puppy can sense it, he will work for quite a time if he senses my enthusiasm, said enthusiasm wore slightly thin after extracting the 17th piece of horse manure from his mouth today on our walk!!

Seriously, dh has bad asthma. Most thought we were really stupid getting a dog. Dh insisted not. Took about two of three weeks, but now he doesn't react at all to him. Although, I groom the puppy daily and will keep his fur short. Our gp suggested its quite normal to get used to your own dog, although other dogs will still be a trigger.