I am terrified of loving my dog. Please don't laugh

[colditz]

I inherited a jack Russell in January, and she is a firm family member now.

She's four, and I love her beyond reason. She really is my baby.

And it makes me scared to love her, and cuddle her, and play with her as much as I'd like..... Because one day, she's going to die. And I am going to have to watch my darling little girl get old and die, and there is nothing I can do to prevent this happening.

I have lost two much loved pets in 6 years, just bad luck, they were stray cats with existing health problems. But the memory of their passing has left me terrified of losing another much loved animal.

How on earth do people get round this? How do people pick themselves up from that loss and love whole heatedly again?

By making sure your pet knows they are loved, and have a wonderful life while they are with you. Of course it hurts when they go, but that pain is ameasure of what love they give you in their life and you accept the pain with the gift or remain dogless.

They melt your heart and you have no choice - give it another month or two and you'll be there too :)

It is (for some of us) a very real grief when you lose a 'loved mate' and knowing their lifespan is much shorter than ours is hard - but loving them is rewarding, so we do it time and again!

It's too late anyway, I already love her. She is such an affectionate and amusing little ball of energy. Of course, she puddles on the floor every night, but she can't help it, she can't hold it for longer than about 5 hours.

I was just wondering really how people let go of the fear? My love for her is tempered by fear....

I know what you mean, Colditz. Maybe part of that feeling comes from still grieving the pets that you lost? Or, depending on the circumstances, the person from whom you inherited her? I think the feelings will diminish over time - I mean you will still love her just as much, if not more, but be less scared of something going wrong because over a longer period of time things will have been fine. I hope that makes sense. You will probably also feel it less if you find a channel for those emotions that helps you be in the moment with her more, concentrating on enjoying the time that you are together, doing whatever you like doing with her (walking, playing fetch, cuddling on the couch). So when you feel that way, you can say okay, I feel a bit afraid, but I'm just going to put that to one side and tickle her tummy or go for a walk with her or something. I hope that makes sense.

It's the same with relationships with people, when you've lost someone or had a bad break-up, it can feel scary to start afresh. So I think it's fairly normal. She sounds like a lovely dog :)

I have this to - exactly the same with my two. Especially my 5 year old jrt who is my best friend. The pup is to young and bouncy and a baby to even think like this about.

But my beautiful girl she has seen me through the hardest times in my life, she has come from a terrified piddling mess of a 5 month old pup to a lovely, gentle, affectionate loving dog. She curls up with me each night and keeps me company each day. A walk with the dogs brightens up the hardest day and the fun of all the activities we do, and the friends we know through all the activities. The dogs are so so much my life.

Loosing childhood pets was so tough for me and when i lost my cat i was deverstated, so I can't even imagine loosing my girl.

My only solace is that i give her the happiest life I possibly can. She is kept fit, healthy, loved, exercised, she really does have a great doggy life. What more can you do. All these years of love and being loved will be the memories that will hopefully get me through in the future.

Try to just enjoy each day. Life is a gift for all of us to cherish and make the most of. Enjoy your jrt they are very special dogs.

It happens to us all - Lord Byron and Kipling wrote very movingly about giving your heart to a dog. I'm a little maudlin on this subject too as every tiem we have got a new dog I think as I take him/her home that there will one day be another journey.

My Staffie has had leukaemia since February and has already survived ( with the assistance of our lovely vet Alison and lots of pills ) much longer than we could have hoped for. Every morning he barks to come upstairs and gets under the covers for a cuddle from me - he has got to be a very cuddly dog indeed since he became ill. I do get very down about it but as DH says if he was still in rescue he would probably have been PTS on health grounds by now, and although he is a bit weak he is very contented and happy. When the time comes Alison will visit him at home and although we will be devastated I know in my heart of hearts that no one could have loved him as much as me, and tried to make his life any better. I also sort of know tht when he is gone we will resoloutely say "no more dogs" ( as we always do - 30+ years of doggie pets) until another scruffy downtrodden rescue dog catches my eye and draws me in.

We lost our dog in February very suddenly with illness.
We loved him as family, he loved us so much (stalkerish to be honest).
I wouldn't change a thing about loving him, even though it hurt (still does) like mad when it was time.

Let go of the fear. Enjoy your dog!