BBC1 ::::::::::::::::The A WORD:::::::::::::::::::::::

[RTKangaMummy]

I think this is going to be good

www.radiotimes.com/episode/d2ycmd/the-a-word--series-1-episode-1

Five-year-old Joe is a smart, musical kid. He spends his time with headphones on listening to alt-rock classics and knowing every line of the lyrics. He can be a bit quiet and uncooperative but nothing that overly troubles his parents – or at least, nothing they’ll admit to…

As we meet Joe and his clan in Peter Bowker’s well-worked drama (adapted from an Israeli series) it is the day of Joe’s birthday. Around him a wider family battle simmers nicely as Joe’s interfering grandfather (Christopher Eccleston) and humiliated uncle strike sparks off each other.

That domestic cut-and-thrust might be enough in itself, but we know the real driver of the story will be Joe’s condition. It’s only the slightest of spoilers to reveal that, as the title hints heavily, Joe has autism. His grandfather’s attitude is old school: “If there’s a problem with my grandson, we need to get it fixed.” It won’t be that simple.

ABOUT THIS PROGRAMME
1/6. New series. The various generations of the Hughes family, who all love, work and fight like any other clan, find they must learn to communicate all over again when the youngest member is diagnosed with autism. The opening episode of the drama sees the extended family reunite in the Lake District for Joe's fifth birthday party, but tensions soon rise among Alison, Paul and patriarch Maurice. Starring Morven Christie, Lee Ingleby and Christopher Eccleston.

CAST AND CREW

CAST
Alison Hughes Morven Christie
Paul Hughes Lee Ingleby
Eddie Scott Greg McHugh
Nicola Daniels Vinette Robinson
Joe Hughes Max Vento
Rebecca Hughes Molly Wright
Maurice Scott Christopher Eccleston
David Nowak Adam Wittek
Pavel Kaminski Tommie Grabiec
Linda Michelle Tate
Jane Joanna Bond
Sea Lily Verity Henry
Ralph Wilson Leon Harrop
Louise Wilson Pooky Quesnel
Martha Catherine Kinsella
Terry George Bukhari
Dr Eshell Siri Ellis
Dr Waite Mina Anwar
Receptionist Denice Hope
Dr Graves Daniel CerqueiraCREW
Director Peter Cattaneo
Executive Producer Patrick Spence
Producer Marcus Wilson
Writer Peter Bowker

[gamerchick]

Would people have preferred all 6 episodes to be about the battle and run up to a diagnosis out of interest?

My impression is the program is about after the diagnosis, the emotional side, the coming to terms and the attitudes of other people rather than cold hard facts so it was condensed and got out of the way.

They don't diagnose until 7 here on purpose and we started the journey at 3. It would have made a really dull and boring program.

[southeastdweller]

I agree there should have been more of a build up to the diagnosis. As it was I struggled to care about this family I barely 'know'.

Also struggling to believe in Christopher Eccleston as a grandfather and Morven Christie as a mum of a teenager,

The SIL is an interesting character and played really well.

[mayflyaway]

Wrath it is the Childhood Autism Rating Scale - another assessment tool, I don't think it is intended to be diagnostic like ADOS but is quicker & easier to do ... ime it gives a really good indication of what is going on. ds scored right at the top of the mild/moderate CARS-2

[elfofftheshelf]

Re the comments that C Eccleston isn't old enough to play the grandfather and M Christie is too young to be the mother of a teenager - do you feel the same way about Sarah Lancashire (playing a grandmother) in Happy Valley? Some people have kids young simple as that. We don't know the back story of the Mum / teenager daughter.

I found the show fascinating having no experience of ASD and the lack of party invites was heartbreaking, but I can also see why the other parents wouldn't want the responsibility. Tough circle to square and I take my hat off to anyone who has to cope with this.

[AlleyCatandRastaMouse]

The heartbreak at the child being excluded was very poignant. He presents very like our child with ASD minus the singing. I loved the singing I am going to dig out my 90s music because DS has a really good singing voice .

[frostyfingers]

I have no experience of autism either and found it very moving. Obviously the intricacies of diagnosis and whether or not the timescales etc were realistic are not something I can comment on, but as an outsider looking in I found it gave me some awareness of what autism might involve.

[AlleyCatandRastaMouse]

Elf can I suggest that instead of taking your hat off maybe you change your attitude. If you cannot cope with the child maybe you ask the parents to attend but condoning exclusion is pretty shitty. If you learned anything from watching it........

[Helmetbymidnight]

First episodes are often not so good as the rest - I nearly gave up on War and Peace because it was too clunky/too many characters to care about/ etc. etc.
I think they set the ground well here - and yes, its not a drama about the struggle to get a diagnosis (which might characterise many peoples stories) but more about how a family copes afterwards (I guess)

I liked the Doctor and the Fresh Meat fella story line. (So pleased he got a job ;))
The way everyone knew her business was awful. And I thought it ended well.

[TheWrathofNaan]

Thankyou May.

[sr123]

Anyone in Cumbria thinking they will get a diagnosis quickly is going to be very disappointed about it actually is.

[Sirzy]

They seemed to be travelling to Manchester to be seen anyway?

[gamerchick]

The program isn't about getting a diagnosis. We all know it was about autism in a bairn we didn't need to see all of that. Maybe a factual documentary would be better suited if there could be such a thing because there's no one size fits all tick box exercise to diagnose.

elf why do you think there would be a responsibility? The one party my son has been invited too in his 9 years he bloody loved. We don't drop and run yanno, we want to actually see our bairn having a good time and be on hand for an overload if any.

[AlleyCatandRastaMouse]

I agree gamer chick it would be a bit of a snooze fest if it was all about the ins and outs of diagnosis. The psychologist on DS was really lovely and she spoke to us about having parents who were not ready to accept diagnosis, we were in a different place by the time DS was diagnosed. I saw what she meant last night, it must be such a smash in the guts if you are not at that place.

[pigeonpoo]

I think those of us without children with autism try to understand things from the outside in and it's easy to make wrong assumptions

Iv wondered over inviting a child to play who adores my DS. If I felt in a better place myself I'd like to but that's another story especially as I notice that boy hasn't received the invites others including mine are getting. But I see he's a handful in the classroom at drop off, and I don't know how to word the "but can you come too?" To the grandparent who drops him off, not least as there's a language barrier.

He's also hits my DS quite a lot, and I struggle with if it's unfair to ask my small DS to cope with that in his home environment out of me wanting to be kind to this boy. Fortunately DS is young enough that although he knows this boy can behave different, he doesn't realise why and it's as simple as that for him. However I would certainly not invite an NT child who behaved that way into my child's home environment and ask my DS to cope with that being fairly likely to happen.

What's the answer?

[AlleyCatandRastaMouse]

Pigeon I think that is trickier because you cannot deal with the parents and you do not feel you can manage the child alone. I have to say though DD has a friend who has always been a bit of a 'handful' but honestly adorable and was over many times before I knew she had ASD so it can be extremely manageable with a lot of children who have higher functioning ASD especially if they have relatively low anxiety levels.

[pigeonpoo]

Yes Alley, I suppose it doesn't even get off the ground being unable to speak to the parents

But I was wondering if they were parents like in this programme who are hiding the diagnosis/not embracing it comfortably with others - how do you ask if they can come and supervise too without fear of offending or upsetting them by making it clear you know their child isn't like the others?

If a mum says openly yes my child has autism, that's why. It's easier to say - can you help me, I'm worried I won't cope on my own without your experience

But it came up on the play date thread about play dates sometimes being respite and someone said it would be respite if someone offered to take a child with SN but they never do

So by including the child, you still worry your being offensive not the right word, inconsiderate?

[AlleyCatandRastaMouse]

I agree with you Pigeon about embracing the diagnosis but lots of parents I know were advised to not mention diagnosis until a child established themselves in mainstream. Another 'friend' and I use the term very loosely told us not to get DS diagnosed because you don't want him to have the stigma have the condition but just don't name it so you are going to come across ignorance no matter how you approach it.

[pigeonpoo]

Yes this little lad I'm talking about, nobody knows if he's diagnosed. Iv heard other parents mention him and talk about him as though he's just a difficult NT child, and honestly I would have thought so had I not worked in a playgroup 1-1 with a child who was eventually diagnosed with autism (later down the line) and recognised this boy in DS nursery as having some very similar behaviours like stimming and being over friendly with strangers and echolalia

But I'd be none the wiser if I hadn't done that

[Helmetbymidnight]

www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2016/mar/09/the-a-word-autism-funnier-than-this-tv-drama

Review from guardian.

[ObiWanCannoli]

Honestly as a parent to two boys on the spectrum if I invite a child to play it's because I knew my sons wanted that to happen.

I always felt uncomfortable if my sons were invited for a play as I knew how hard it was for them. If I was that parent Pigeon I wouldn't mind you not inviting my son to play. I think a lot of parents to kids on the spectrum keep everyone at arms length because it's easier.

We would like some help but we never ask as it makes us feel as though we are failing more and it can cause further problems for our kids. So unless you can speak to the mum I would just leave the play date for the time being.

I found this documentary has so far painted a poor picture of families who live with a child with autism. My kids are my kids the autism doesn't factor in at home as its just how it is. As a mum I only notice the difference when we are out and about trying to do 'normal' things. The plot that goes along with the story is a bit so so too, like I said earlier I hope it improves.

[ObiWanCannoli]

Helmet that Guardian review is great. They've nailed it completely. That's exactly why I didn't like it.

[PalcumTowder]

Regarding the quick diagnosis, I understand is not like this in reality but I think it really worked for the impact it had. I have two children, both NT and I don't know, it just really got to me how the parents were so completely clueless and planning their weekend when bam - the future they had pictured for their child is gone and suddenly they don't know what life has in store for him.

It made me think, it could be anyone, it could be any of our children. It made me think about how I would feel if it was me receiving that news. I think if the parents had inklings all along it would be easier as a viewer to say "well our child obviously doesn't have ASD." But sometimes, as this shows, it isn't obvious.

Sorry for my clunky phrasing, hopefully it makes a bit of sense.

[NotJanine]

I enjoyed it. I can understand that if you have been/are in a similar position as a parent then you are going to be critical of it, but it is like that with any drama if you have personal experience. I think this first episode just had to set the scene for the rest of it.

I liked the humour, eg Chris Eccleston and the singing teacher. The actors are young, but not unrealistically so, to play their parts.

[Mumoftwoyoungkids]

Chris Eccleston is 52 so he himself just about could have a 16 year old grandchild. The trouble is that he looks younger than he is (I'd believe he is 45 - I wouldn't believe he is 60) so it makes it harder to believe.

I think he'd do better as the dad with Rebecca being his and Alison being a younger second wife.

Also agree that they are setting it up for him to be on the spectrum as well. (Interestingly my aunty realised she was dyslexic in her 40s after both her two were diagnosed,)

[ElementaryMyDear]

I think it's unrealistic to suggest they should have showed more of the build up to diagnosis as we all know it takes a very long time. They did make it clear there was a back story going right back to when Joe was small and they had his hearing checked etc.