how much 'back chat' do your teens get away with?

[GypsyMoth]

i hate it!!

i just think to myself, 'i would never have dared speak to my parents like that'...but then,i'd be likely to have the threat of a slap hanging over me! can't do that these days,and they bloody well know it!

just said to dd,"no you can't go to the shop on your brothers bike" (its too small for her hence dangerous!) she retorted with a snappy 'mum,it's none of your business'. this is just one example of her gobby retorts. she has recently become both a teenager,in july,and started at the upper school,sept,so see's herself as supremely grown up!

i seem to ground her for the slightest thing these days. she says i'm way too strict.

how do you al get the balance right?

[GypsyMoth]

i'm starting to get the impression that teenage ds's are lovely!!
good news when i have 3 boys!

[mumblechum]

It would be interesting to swap my 15 yr old ds for someone's 15 yr old dd one day just to see the difference.

I don't get much backchat, in fact he usually tells me off for eyerolling and impatience .

I love the discussions we have these days about all sorts of stuff, overseas aid, politics, music etc. I learn a lot.

[cory]

can't see much difference between my approach and my Mum's really

voicing different opinion fine (or at least tolerable), swearing or name-calling or putting someone down not fine

not that I get that- dd has a good sense of humour and a rather detached way of looking at herself

it's her 9yo brother who does the teen backchat [mm]

[dogonpoints]

Maybe something that tiffany would call backchat, I wouldn't. Just a thought.

[dogonpoints]

But you shouldn't have reacted so seriously to the bike issue

[ra29needsabettername]

how are people defining backchat?

[dogonpoints]

hmm. I think backchat is when you have said something seriously (and dc knew you meant it seriously) and you get a cheeky, sarky comment back.

[Tortington]

in the op scenario - it clearly was your business and i presume you say so - and of course you would be quite right.

we discuss things - with my oldest son (19 and doesn't live here anymore ) discussions turn into him shouting then me shouting - i don't know how it happens - but its an illustration of how i understand how diferent kids are just...well different.

the twins (16) we discuss - usually. ds is always with the funny flip comment - sometimes its funny - i laugh sometimes i tell him its not appropriate and i am serious.

so i think i let them get away with a lot of flip comments but if they take the piss in a nasty way there would be trouble.

ps. i find cleaning the bog much better than grounding - cos no one wants to clean the og - that means you get a sparkling bog and you dont have to do it

i usually prefer nasty chores to grounding

i usually ground them from their friends when its the influence of their friends i would like to keep them away from

the twins are both grounded at the moment - but i quite like them actually so its no skin off my nose - we all eat together at tea time for a change and we all went swimming today which was utterly brill!

[sue1911]

DD occasionally will try to back chat, but getting rarer as I wont tolerate it.

As for last word issues she doesnt do that anymore as I told her it was so childish and if she was going to resort to childish behaviour she would be treated accordingly. Even worse I threatened I would do it infront of her friends.

differences of opinions are allowed

riding a bike too small after being told not too?

result A smug mother who said uh hu when told her DD had fallen off and a DD with a cut arm. Moment of parent satisfaction = priceless