School sending home DD13 with pre-period symptoms

[EgonSpengler]

Hi there,

My ASD DD13 was sent home from school today as she was feeling unwell - crampy lower tummy and loose stools. It's been like this around the same time each month for the past 6 months, so I'm confident it's the rumblings of periods coming down the track.

School says as she has diarrhoea she needs to stay off for the rest of the week in line with the 48 hour policy. If it was diarrhoea this would be fine, but it's not, it's period poos, which is not very nice in itself, but it's not contagious and has nothing to do with illness. Her temperature is normal, she's just eaten lunch and is now playing on her switch and does not want painkillers or needs to go to the loo.

I complete sympathise as my periods were horrendous, but at the moment it looks like school expect me to keep her off for the best part of a week each month. This is completely untenable going forwards for her education and my work.

What do I do?!

Has she actually started her periods?

I'm confused. it sounds like you are saying her periods have not started? So it isn't "period poo". it is stomach ache and diarrhoea. So she needs to be off

Periods are more likely to cause constipation, anyway

It sounds like she’s about to come on and gets period poos as part of her PMS.

Not heard that before. It is commonly known as the period shits among my friends.

Having diarrhoea around period is very common. It's unfortunate if they don't know about this as it's quite common, but you'll either have to spell it out for them or ask a medical professional to comunicate this for you.

Totally unacceptable from the school, and you definitely need to challenge. It's discriminatory against female students.

But as your DD is 13, how do the school even know?

Thanks for replies!

@60andsomething No she hasn't actually started her periods, but this is definitely not stomach ache and diarrhoea. It's been happening at the same time roughly every month for the past 6 months, alongside quite emotional episodes. She describes the pain as throbbing / cramping in her lower tummy. I can only talk about my experience, but periods for me definitely comprise of having period poos for the first day, rather than constipation.

@greyandbluewool Yes I think you're right - I'll have to spell it out for them or possibly get a Dr to communicate / send a letter.

@AbbeFausseMaigre That's what I thought!

How does the school know about her bowels?

Why doesn’t she just not tell them?

This girl isn't having periods

@AbbeFausseMaigre @ageratum1 The school know about her bowels as she's at an SEN school that has fobbed doors, so the kids can't wander freely. She was in there for 20 minutes which was noted as being a longer than usual time for her. When they asked her why, having ASD, she told them she'd done a loose poo.

@WarningOfGails I wish she would just not tell them! She she's asked a question she will answer as truthfully as possible.

@60andsomething That's correct, she isn't. Yet. But we are very much on our way there, given all the signs.

I’d take her to the GP and get it on record and if necessary pay for a letter to school that she has hormone based loose stools and unless has other symptoms should remain in school. I sympathise as I always have constipation for a day beforehand and then v. loose tummy for the first couple of days.

That's a great idea @Elephantswillnever. I think that's definitely the way forward. Thank you x

That’s not true! Loose stools at definitely a period symptoms be release of prostaglandins!!
I’m not saying conservation doesn’t happen, but it’s not more likely.

I do however agree that if OP’s daughter hasn’t started her periods then these aren’t period poos.

Even if this isn't directly related to her periods being imminent, loose stools and stomach pains are very common symptom of anxiety.

I'm not saying that your daughter is anxious, just that the school is being ridiculous in automatically and immediately classifying loose stools in a teenager as D&V in the absence of any other relevant symptoms, especially when there is a history of similar episodes.

I'm surprised a secondary school has a 48hr rule like primary. My kids doesn't.