How do we all feel about offering to take teens partner on family holiday

[Ryegait]

Trying not to drip feed.

What are the pitfalls in accepting an all expenses holiday offer from 19 yo teenagers boyfriends family?

[Seeline]

It's very generous!

For me it would depend on the age of the teens, length of relationship and if they were an only child.

[Fargo79]

To be clear, your 19 year old daughter has been invited on a fully paid holiday with her boyfriend and his family?

They're adults. At 19 my sister was married, owned a flat and had a baby on the way. Why would you need to "feel" anything?

[SoftLanding]

You’re inviting your daughters BF on holiday with you and paying for everything? If they get on well. you like him and he treats her well, I don’t see the issue.

I suppose they may choose to go off together and you won’t spend as much time with your daughter or they may fall out before or during the holiday. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Floralnomad]

If your daughter is 19 it is not your issue , she can decide . It’s normal for 19 y olds to holiday together

[Medschoolmum]

My dd went away for a week with her bf's family when she was just 18. We made it clear that we wouldn't be able to reciprocate due to taking different types of holiday - we tend to fly/stay in hotels, they tend to rent a cottage in the UK, so an extra person doesn't make quite the same difference. They were fine with that.

We agreed that dd should offer to pay for stuff while she was there (her money, not ours!) but they wouldn't actually let her pay for anything. They are still together almost one year on, and they're planning their own trip this year with just the two of them.

I think a holiday is way too much pressure for younger teens, but once they're adults, it's really up to them. Thankfully, we really like BF and his family, so I had no qualms at all about dd spending a week with them.

[PutOnYourRedShoesAndLetsDance]

Can see any pitfalls for an adult to make up her own mind.

[Seeline]

@Seeline

It's very generous!

For me it would depend on the age of the teens, length of relationship and if they were an only child.

I see you've edited your OP since my first reply!

Your DD is 19. It's none of your business!

[Brightandbubly]

sounds lovely, she must have a great relationship with them. She should bring her own spends imo and treat them as much as she can whilst there

[ginasevern]

Are you worried about their relationship in general. Are there safety concerns or do you think he might use the cost of the holiday against her somehow? These are valid points but if she's 19 you can't stop her, only advise her.

[Peonies12]

19 year old is an adult - it’s none of your business.

[CharlieCookWroteABook]

As mentioned above, such a generous offer! How lovely!

Also mentioned above, at 19 is this really much of your business?

Not mentioned above, there's no such thing as a free holiday

Could be tricky/awkward :

• what if they break up before the holiday? Would she feel obliged to reimburse the cost of the holiday to the family? Would she be able to afford to do that?

• what if as the holiday nears, she finds that she wants to break up but feels unable to because of the pending holiday? what would she do then?

[TeeBee]

We always invite DS' girlfriend along and he is invited to their family holidays. Theirs tend to be to their holiday home and UK breaks and ours usually abroad. It works out more of less even and keeps them happy. We've had no problems, she's nice company.

[Hellandhighwaters]

I suppose it depends how long they’ve been together and how well your teen knows and likes bfs family. My dd had a similar dilemma with the family of her bf inviting her away later on in the year. She had only been with him a couple of months and met his family on two previous occasions when the offer was made. She is not in a position to pay towards the holiday and we are not in a position to reciprocate to invite him away with us.

My dd made the decision herself to turn down the offer. I think she thought it was still quite early days in her relationship and she would not want his family to potentially lose money if things did not work out and she did not end up going. I think had they been together longer and she knew the family better she would have said yes. If your teen does accept, it would be nice for him/her to be able to make an offer of a financial contribution (depending on what they can afford) towards some aspect of the holiday, e.g their flight or food.

[ThePoshUns]

There's drip feed and no feed. You fall into the latter

[TargetPractice11]

She's 19.