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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

14 yr old girl- flying alone to japan with a stop-over- yes or no?

92 replies

miku · 18/05/2018 08:03

Im having kittens. Father and daughter say its fine. I want her accompanied. Shes independent, but even so........

OP posts:
FleurDelacoeur · 18/05/2018 08:33

What if something goes wrong in the stopover airport

Something like what? It obviously depends on the child but if this particular child has flown many times before there isn't much that can go wrong. By the time she gets off the first plane and finds her way to the gate for the connection, it will be time to board. She won't be able to wander around landside anyway.

Airports are swarming with people who work there - all of whom will be easily identifiable. So if "something goes wrong" there will be plenty of people to help out. And I'm assuming 14 year old has a phone.

Liaoyang · 18/05/2018 08:34

Depends on where the stopover is and whether they have to change terminals and whether they are checked through. Mine did

Original poster
miku · 18/05/2018 08:34

the last flight I did with her we had a connecting flight in China- the plane was cancelled and it was pretty chaotic! we stayed in China for 2 days, and only managed to get out because we fought for next flight.So, yes Im nervous. But everyone says Incheon is different- more caring.

OP posts:
Trooperslane2 · 18/05/2018 08:34

Nope. Nuuuuuuuuuuppppp.

Absolutely no way. Flying yes. Stopover - no.

I'd be having kittens too OP.

I have stayed in so many hotels for work and had major yuck vibes from men - so much so I had to lobby work to put us in premier inns - because they don't read out the room numbers of women by themselves - they point to your number and ask you if it's clear, so that "creepy men" don't know what room you're in.

I know that sounds totally crazy but in the 15 years I travelled I'm sure I was hassled at least 30% of the time. I'm averagely attractive I'd say, in the restaurant I'd usually have my head in a book and I don't give off any come get me vibes or even come and talk to me.

I just wouldn't put a 14 year old in that vulnerable position, no matter how mature they were.

On more than 1 occasion I had to have an escort to my room, bang the door shut and lock it.

I have travelled disproportionately more than most people, but still.

SD1978 · 18/05/2018 08:35

What’s the purpose of the trip? You say her and her dad have been there many times- does her dad live over there? Reading g, no doubt badly, between the lines- are you separated and uses previously been picked up by him and they’ve flown together? Why are they happy about it? Or is it just convenient for him, and exciting as an idea for her? Your concerns are valid- but if you said no- what would be the other option- would she still want to go regardless?

Trooperslane2 · 18/05/2018 08:35

outside was way more succinct than me. But I agree. That.

PeonyTruffle · 18/05/2018 08:37

No way. I wouldn’t want to do that alone and I’m 29.

It’s the stop over bit that would worry me, if you were sticking her on a direct plane at x and and she was being met at the other end then that would sit more comfortably with me

FleurDelacoeur · 18/05/2018 08:38

People are getting the wrong end of the stop - it's NOT an overnight stop. OP's daughter will not be arriving in South Korea and finding her way to some dive hotel to be preyed upon by all manner of low life.

It's a CONNECTION where she won't clear South Korean immigration, and will stay airside in the airport lounges and shops until her connection leaves in a couple of hours. Totally different.

Saltcrust · 18/05/2018 08:38

No way! As you say, it's other people, and flights being delayed/cancelled and other possible variables that I'd find worrying.

PlatypusPie · 18/05/2018 08:39

Do you mean an airside transit at an interim airport ( in which case, fine) or a stop over, involving leaving the airport and overnighting and coming back ( sounds unnecessary and I wouldn’t be happy) . Depends where the transit is, but most of those hubs are set up to be as helpful as possible for confused long haul transit passengers ! I have done Japan a few times - transit via Doha a dream, but otherwise direct. There are plenty of direct flights, though - is it a matter of budget ?

Original poster
miku · 18/05/2018 08:45

She is being met by her grandpa at the other end. Her dad and I are separated, he lives nearby, and we always fight about stuff like this because I want him to spend the money it costs to look after her properly. He has persuaded DD that she can do it.
I have said to him that he either pays for an accompanied flight or she doesn't go. I cannot afford to pay for it.
He basically will do what he wants. And now my daughter is arguing with me that she can do it. I go from thinking yes its fine ( because of her) to NO ITS NOT because she is 14! and all the 'creepy men', other crap that 'may' happen......

OP posts:
PlatypusPie · 18/05/2018 08:45

Just seen the update - I was about to say that, in our family’s experience, China isn’t the best transit experience. But South Korea is entirely different, IMO - well signposted and helpful.

Original poster
miku · 18/05/2018 08:47

its a flight change over at Incheon, Seoul. so maybe 3 hours in airport? she has been before, so she knows it. BUT IM STILL NERVOUS!

OP posts:
ThroughThickAndThin01 · 18/05/2018 08:48

I’d say yes.

And I’m normally over protective.

If she’s happy with it, it’s fine.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 18/05/2018 08:50

Like pp's, I'd be fine with the flight, but the stopover is worrying. What happens if her connection is delayed, cancelled, whatever?

mayhew · 18/05/2018 08:51

Incheon is orderly and and pleasant. And the staff are very helpful.

PlatypusPie · 18/05/2018 08:52

I don’t think you need to insist on an accompanied flight at 14 but it would be reasonable for him to could pay for a direct one, if transit is where your anxieties ( understandably ) lay. Or could you pay the difference if the transit one is cheaper ?

Starlighter · 18/05/2018 08:55

No way. What happens if there’s a delay or cancellation? Some adults I know would panic and not know what to do in that situation.

Could her dad not meet her at the stopover point at least?

Summerinrome · 18/05/2018 08:55

God no

aaarrrggghhhh · 18/05/2018 08:58

ONLY accompanied.

Idreamedadreamonce · 18/05/2018 08:58

Couldn't he meet her at Incheon on this occasion 'as a test run for next time'. Could he compromise on that?

reddressblueshoes · 18/05/2018 08:58

I think it sounds fine, but I'd want it flagged with the airline that she is young and if there is a flight delay that they and her know what to do.

A few hours transit shouldn't be difficult to navigate, the only issues is if she would be confident to ask for assistance from the right people if needed.

You can maybe book her an aisle seat on both flights, talk to ground staff at check in- there are websites that can help you work out the gates in international airports and essentially how long the transition will take. I've been on a few where it's basically, walk down a corridor and wait for your new flight, and some where it involves changing terminal and walking at a gallop to make it. If she's aware of all the things that could go wrong and what to do if they happen I'd say it was fine.

Original poster
miku · 18/05/2018 08:58

there actually isn't a direct flight from Europe, so a change of planes is necessary. Yes, its budget. always budget. sigh. I literally cannot afford it ( I pay for all our living expenses-her Dad pays for her extra curricular.
Ok . so I will breathe. She isn't going until July ( I originally thought he was going too- last month I found out not......)
In my opinion, men generally don't think about what its like be a woman! let alone a young woman!

OP posts:
Singlenotsingle · 18/05/2018 08:59

No, no, no! Much too young!

lemonsandlimes123 · 18/05/2018 09:00

Absolutely fine particularly as she is familiar with the route etc. What exactly would your concerns be?

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