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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Consequences for rudeness

8 replies

Dancergirl · 14/08/2017 22:29

What consequences if any do you put in place for teens being rude or disrespectful to you?

Is just a telling off enough of a punishment? Phone removal seems a bit harsh and better suited to a more serious offence.

OP posts:
chocatoo · 14/08/2017 22:41

It would simply make me disinclined to put myself out or to do any favours for them, e.g. Why would I cook favourite food, cough up money or provide lifts to someone who has been rude and disrespectful. I would make it clear that I was hurt or offended and probably offer suggestions as to how it might be put right in the hope that it could be resolved quickly.

corythatwas · 15/08/2017 00:38

The older they get the more I would react as I would to another adult who was rude. So, as chocatoo said, less inclined to do favours and spelling it out that I was offended.

FrenchRoast · 15/08/2017 07:46

I make sure we communicate on equal terms, I speak to them as I like to be spoken to. I don't accept rudeness and I don't respond to it, in that they don't get anything to go their way until they speak to me in an acceptable manner and this message is reiterated ad-nausium. And I remind them that I am a human being with feelings and the world does not revolve around them - everyone's feelings matter and must be taken into account! I also allow for a little moodiness at times.

youarenotkiddingme · 15/08/2017 07:48

I do things if I'm spoken to nicely.

I'll discuss things if I'm asked in an appropriate manner.

I prefer natural consequences.

MrsJayy · 15/08/2017 07:52

I did what pp did i reacting to it i used to say things like i am not speaking to you like that etc I think they have to realise that they are not little children and their actions can hurt people

Original poster
Dancergirl · 20/08/2017 21:15

Thank you. We were actually on holiday and my 14 year old dd said something very rude to me that upset me quite a bit. She did apologise afterwards though.

OP posts:
misshelena · 20/08/2017 21:54

If I am seriously offended, I make them apologize. A 3-part apology -- first they tell me why I am upset, then they explain why they did it, finally they tell me how they are going to prevent the same rude attitude in the future. They'll do it again but by making the apology as memorable as possible I hope to extend the interval between such rudeness outbreaks. Dds are 14 and 17.

MrsJayy · 20/08/2017 22:10

My 2 were right arseholes at 14 they just seemed to open their mouths and bile tripped out thankfully we came out the other side and they are pretty decent women☺

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