My two teenage sons and the nightmare of school mornings!

[Bookworm13]

PLEASE can I get some advice?!

We have two teenage sons (16 and 13) and since the summer, they have been a nightmare getting up in the morning for school - especially the younger one.

They are always in bed at 10pm Sun-Thurs (they have to be ready for bed before that) and we don't allow them to take techy stuff into their rooms at bedtime, as I know they would be on it.

I am sick of having to repeatedly shout upstairs every school morning for them to get up and the last two mornings, they have both almost been late.
It's getting to the stage where I'm starting to dread weekday mornings, cos it's like Groundhog Day over and over!
I don't want to treat them like babies but I'm so bloody annoyed, I was going to suggest they go to bed a bit earlier than 10pm, to see if a bit extra sleep might make them stir themselves.
I'm probably kidding myself but it has been going on constantly for months and I'm at my wits end!
Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks!

[lljkk]

Was an MNer who woke her teens with a hot steaming cup of tea in their hands. Teens sat up to deal with it or they got scalded. Worked for her.

[Redpony1]

My friend bought her lazy DP an alarm clock that flys around so he has to get up and stop it, its worked so far haha!

[Hygellig]

Can you leave them to it and let them learn the consequences of being late? Or set multiple alarms to go off loudly?
When I was a teenager my mum left for work before I even got up (parents were divorced so dad wasn't there). I used to get up as late as possible (8:15) to leave the house at 8:45. (Fortunately I had a very short walk to school).

[rightsofwomen]

I'd just let them get on with it and face the consequences. Life skills and all that.

[Celine314]

Umm.. Have you thought of these annoying alarm clocks?

1. www.amazon.co.uk/DIGIFLEX-Flying-Helicopter-Novelty-Gadget/dp/B00BFCHSB6/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1485423084&sr=8-1&keywords=flying%20alarm%20clock&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21" rel="nofollow noindex" target="_blank">//www.amazon.co.uk/DIGIFLEX-Flying-Helicopter-Novelty-Gadget/dp/B00BFCHSB6/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1485423084&sr=8-1&keywords=flying%20alarm%20clock&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21
   
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3. www.amazon.co.uk/Sonic-SBB500SS-Alarm-Shaker-Version/dp/B000OOWZUK/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1485423084&sr=8-5&keywords=flying%20alarm%20clock&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21" rel="nofollow noindex" target="_blank">//www.amazon.co.uk/Sonic-SBB500SS-Alarm-Shaker-Version/dp/B000OOWZUK/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1485423084&sr=8-5&keywords=flying%20alarm%20clock&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21
   
4. www.amazon.co.uk/Stoga-GVC001-Fashion-Digital-Clock-Black-x/dp/B00RBN699K/ref=sr_1_6?ie=UTF8&qid=1485423084&sr=8-6&keywords=flying%20alarm%20clock&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21" rel="nofollow noindex" target="_blank">//www.amazon.co.uk/Stoga-GVC001-Fashion-Digital-Clock-Black-x/dp/B00RBN699K/ref=sr_1_6?ie=UTF8&qid=1485423084&sr=8-6&keywords=flying%20alarm%20clock&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21
   

I do like 3 and 4......

[Tikky]

We live within walking distance of my kids school so I stayed in bed and awaited my cup of tea on school morning from when they were about 13(? Not quite sure) onwards. It wouldn't have crossed my mind to wake them. I also didn't make their lunches. I was lovely in other respects though

Waking or even fining a 16 year old is silly. It's his problem - tell him you are leaving at X time then make sure you leave a X time. No drama and no shouting or cajoling

[cantkeepawayforever]

I leave the house at 7.30 am 3 days a week - used to be 5 - and DH has also left for work by that point.

My last task before I leave is to switch on the DC's lights and tell them to get up. They have just under 5 minutes to show me that they are out of bed before I leave. That is the end of my responsibility towards them.

Both have endured this system since they were 11. Neither has ever had a late mark, and they have a 25+ minute walk to school. If they were to be late (now 14 and 16), the school would deal with it.

Hand the responsibility for getting up over to them - and over to the school to punish if required. Life skill - the eldest could be in employment in a couple of years.

[FurryLittleTwerp]

If they can get themselves to school without your help then let them.

Leave on time for your trip to work - offer a lift if they are ready but don't make yourself late or pull your hair out trying.

They let you nag them & take responsibility because you nag them & take responsibility - if you stopped, they'd have to do it for themselves.

My DS had to be driven to the school bus-stop as it was 3 miles away, with school a further 9 miles - he was never late to be fair, but he knew that if I were working that day, he would not be getting a lift to school as it was in the opposite direction & no way would I make myself late!

[GeorgiePeachie]

For me. I get up early because I have breakfast and getting ready for the day to do. I don't get ready before bed. They have cut down the amount the HAVE to do in the morning so that they feel they can just roll out of bed. If everything was ready for me to get dressed and walk out of the door I would lounge in bed a lot longer.

Stop prepping them.

[HollySykes]

How did it go?

I wake mine up when I get up, but it's their responsibility to get to school on time dd's are fine but they have to get a bus and know that I won't take them if they miss it. DS has been late once or twice but has got in so much trouble at school for it that he bucks his ideas up for a few weeks. I don't see how taking the responsibility for waking them and getting them to school teaches them anything. I've got three teens and work full time I don't need a stressful start to the day.

[field10]

My advise would be to not keep shouting at them and throw cold water over them see if the get up then. I threaten my nearly 11 year old daughter with this and she gets up pretty quick. They will soon learn get up or get wet. It will save you getting so stressed and there reaction to being soaked and would give you a laugh in the morning.

[Sugarpiehoneyeye]

What you need, is an air horn ! Parp it outside their bedroom doors, no need to go in, no need to shout or throw cold water. It worked for me, one Son was out like a shot, the other tried to pretend he couldn't hear it, the first Son couldn't stand the sound, so dragged the first Son out of bed. Win, win, situation, and very funny ! 😂😂😂

[diddl]

Would people really throw water over their kids?

I think that that's horrible.

[Bensyster]

Why would you go so far as to throw water over someone to save them from a detention? It's not surprising that relationships between teens and their parents start to break down. Treat them like adults - they have to take responsibility for themselves.

[Littleballerina]

I leave for work shortly after 6 and my dc 17, 16 and 12 all get themselves up and sorted. The oldest will miss buses if not out the house on time (only one bus a day) and the youngest locks up because he leaves later.
Make them take responsibility! What would they do if you wasn't there?

[RueDeDay]

If you throw cold water over them, you have to deal with wet sheets. If, on the other hand, you put a cup of marbles in the freezer, you get the same effect with no mess. And the marbles follow them as they roll away.

:::polishes Mum of the Year halo:::

[user1478860582]

Kick door open, barrel roll across the bedroom floor screaming 'Freeze sucker!!!!!' before shooting with a water pistol!

Does nothing for life skills but brightens every parents morning up!

[Brionius]

I used to hate being made to get up. I hated school and used to read until 2-3am and so the 6am wake up of my mother turning the light on and opening the curtains infuriated me.
To this day I have an involuntary anger response to being told to get up. I've since read a lot of research about teenage brains wired to stay up late and sleep later, I really feel like it's normal to not want to get up.
Take them a cup of tea, let them get up in their own time. If they're late, they get the consequences. I was so envious of houses where there wasn't shouting or anger every day! The other crap bit was if I did get up on time I got teased so it wasn't worth doing. Even now my mother and other family members make some comment about my not getting up in the mornings. It still really upsets me!
I am perfectly capable of getting up and getting my son to childcare and myself to work on time, in fact about 45 minutes early most days, it won't set them up for life or anything!

[Wordsmith]

Teenagers have a built-in inability to get up in the mornings. It's something to do with their hormones or something. I have one (almost 13) who gets up early and leaves the house in plenty of time but am just waiting for him o turn 13 and for that to change overnight. The 16 year old doesn't even have to get up early three days out of five as he's at 6th form college and doesn't do full days. Still waits for the last possible minute though. I just go in with a cup of tea, draw the curtains wide and, last resort, pull the duvet off him. On the few occasions he does miss the college coach I make him walk into town and get the normal bus and be late.

I don't think going to bed earlier makes it any easier. They're hardwired to be virtually nocturnal at that age.

If I were you I'd push a bit more with the 13 year old but the 16 year old is more than old enough to sort himself out (and deal with the consequences of being late, whatever they are).

[cantkeepawayforever]

I am probably fortunate that my DS's hormonal shift to wake up later in the morning pushed him from his practically-from-birth 5.30-6 am to 7.30 or 8 at the weekends!

He slept in until 7 or the very first time on his 13th birthday

Perhaps if his 'pre-teen' body clock had woken him at 8 am, then the additional 2 hours of sleep in the morning would be more of a problem!

[misblink]

I can't believe people throw cold water over their kids!

Just get them alarm clocks and let them sort themselves out! They are old enough to get up themselves. Even my youngest gets up by herself. Once the 17 year old slept in and despite me waking her twice she didn't get up so I left without her. She's never done it since.

[MysticTwat]

Agree with draylon and wordsmith

Which is why i've left that responsibility to them from early on.

Mine have to be out the house just after 7 to catch a bus. (If they miss it they are fucked, as school is 10 miles away)

Ds1 was always an early riser but struggles now, he manages though, sets his alarm for 6.20 gets ready, then stumbles to the sofa and dozes there until 7.

Ds2 was always a late riser and I worried how he would adjust. But I wake him 6.30 then leave him to it. He appears in the kitchen about 7.

Weekends ds1 will sleep until around 11.30am ds2 about 9. Unless they have to be somewhere.

[CharleyDavidson]

I call mine when I walk past their rooms on the way to the bathroom myself.
Then I switch their lights on on the way past again if they still aren't up when I go back to my room to get ready.
Then I go in and talk to them or tug on their duvet (not pull it off) to make sure they are up.

Then they get told I'm not calling them again and I expect them to be up and washed/dressed by the time I leave in another 30 mins time.

Usually works. Sometimes they get up on the first call, sometimes on the last.