Having issues with 19 year old daughter

[Mumof2lovelys]

My daughter is going to turn 19 in 2 weeks and I don't know what to do with her. She is just finishing her last year of college and last week had her days cut down to 2 days a week, all dayThursday and 9-12 on Friday as she no longer needed to be in all week.

She has a part time job as that is all she could get due to her college hours but mow she has had them cut down and will be leaving soon I need her to get out and find a full time job which I'm not sure she is even trying to do. She is refusing to pay me rent at the moment as she is having to pay for her driving lessons and doesn't earn enough to be paying for those and paying me rent and she would be left with no money at the end. I've tried explaining to her that that's what happens in the real world but she just won't listen and tells me I'm being selfish.

Before I left for work today I asked her to tidy and Hoover her room and do the wiping up after her brother had washed up on top of her usual chores.
When I returned from work she was in her pyjamas, the dishwasher was still full and dirty plates were piling up and she had not hoovered. On top of that some washing she had put out to dry on Monday before it rained was still outside, 3 days later.

She had told me she hadn't hoovered as her cat was asleep on her bed and she didn't want to scare her. Pathetic excuse. She said the dishwasher had only finished the wash which just raises the question why was it only just finished at 6 when it was full and needed putting on when I left for work 9 hours earlier. She then told me she couldn't get the washing in as it was wet from the rain still so I went and got my stuff of the washing line to put in into the washing machine again and then into the tumble dryer.

She then threw as massive tantrum as I had left her washing out there instead of getting it in with mine, I told her her washing is her responsibility. She then goes on to say I'm picking on her all the time as I'm always nagging her when she does so much to help around the house whilst working and I'm college while her brother sits at home doing nothing and refusing to attend college.

I've tried to explain to her again that she is an adult while her brother is only 17 so she need to start acting like one. She is doing my head in at the moment as she doesn't seem to want to take any responsibility, at her age I had my own home and full time career. She just has excuses for everything and everytime I call her out she just acts as though I'm picking on her. I just need some advice on what to do with her.

[AndNowItsSeven]

Do you revive CB and tax credits for her as that makes a big difference?

[AndNowItsSeven]

Receive

[MrsJayy]

Your DD sounds a decent kid maybe a bit lazy but working college paying her driving lessons you are always on her back that is why she is ignoring you btw been there you need to stop nagging her she hasn't finished college yet she needs to do that first then think of a job and get your 17yr old to clean up his own shit what message are you sending DD och he is a silly boy you do it for him he is 17 not 7

[MrsJayy]

How is that bpy going to learn to be an adult if he doesn't do anything a switch doesn't come on when they reach 18

[mumeeee]

YAB a bit U. Yes she should have done the household chores. However her room should be her responsibility by that I mean she should decide when she wants to hoover it not you telling her to do it.
Also I do think you were a bit petty not to bring her washing in when you got hers
I can also see her point about her brother he is only slightly younger than her and should be expected to do his fair share of the chores