14yo got a tattoo

[eaturveggies123]

Just found out my 14yo daughter has a tattoo. I'm fuming. I had no knowledge of this, and she defiantly would not have had permission if she asked.
I found out after she had showered (it's on her ankle). I asked her what it was, and she ran into her room. Fast forward an hour to when she emerges. Big argument follows and she storms out and goes to her fathers house. As far as I could see it was an elephant with some morse code (I think) above it. She refused to tell me where she had gotten it done.

[anklebitersmum]

Wow. Just wow.

Phone. Gone. Permanently. (I'd have done that when the indecent images happened, never mind now)
Privileges. Gone. At least a month.
Tatooist. Reported to both the local authority and the Police.

She went and got another tattoo right after you spotting the first one. Blatantly and deliberately disrespecting you.

Mine would be on lockdown. They'd be taken to and from school, school would be involved and aware and they'd be so busy she wouldn't have time to wish upon a boyfriend. Boyfriend would be getting a visit from the police better them than DH

She is a vulnerable child, who needs her parents to protect her from herself as well as others. You and your ex need to put your collective feet down with a firm hand. And keep 'em down!

Good luck!

[MissusWrex]

Ummm...

Why the fuck did she still have her phone after sending inappropriate pictures, surely that was a big hint that she isn't mature or trustworthy enough to use it?

How old was the boyfriend? Did you report the spreading of indecent images of a child?

Re: the tattoos it's pretty obvious your dd has no respect for you. You fell for the elephant/aunt story, what other stories have you fallen for?

[differentnameforthis]

And this is exactly why parents needs to be checking phones, internet access of their kids, imo.

What else has that 17yr old got her to do

The worst trouble we've had is innopropriate pictures to a boyfriend. worse???

Seriously! They could be done for handling/swapping/distributing inappropriate sexual images of a child!!! Not to mention her boyfriend could have shared them with his mates too...

Bloody hell op. What did you do about that, and why does that appear to you, to be less serious than tattoos?? I think, in the scheme of things, I'd rather my dd had a tattoo underage than shared inappropriate pics of herself with a lad!

[Socialaddict]

OP I read the whole thread and can honestly say that I really feel for you! I would be absolutely devastated if this happened to my DD. I agree with previous advice, report this "studio" to the police and the council and try and spend as much time as possible with your DD. Do not forbid her to go out just make it impossible for her. The contact with the 17yo boy is worrying too imo . Do you think he finds her the money for this somehow, perhaps in exchange for "favours"? This really sounds drastic but I can't think where she might be able to get money for tattoos and weed from if she does not earn it or does not receive an allowance. I would also take away all privileges such as phone, laptop, tablet etc, no going out with friends parties etc. I'd make sure she is picked up and taken to school and then stay at home and do her homework. I know it is easier said than done but a stricter approach is needed I think.

[eaturveggies123]

I'll contact school on Monday. He dad knows, he's always been soft on her so he's cross but hasn't told her off at all. Her stepdad is extremely angry about it, threatening to go to the shop and have a 'word'. My dd is never normally like this. The worst trouble we've had is innopropriate pictures to a boyfriend.

[ineedamoreadultieradult]

None of my tattoos have ever been red or scabby. What are you going to do next op? Does her Dad know? Will you be talking to the school?

[DCITennison]

Not the main issue here, but do tattoos settle down that quickly?
If the Peter Pan was was new wouldn't it still be red and scabby?

[rainbowstardrops]

Jeez it gets worse! Is your DD usually this sneaky, irresponsible and untrustworthy?

I would definitely contact the school because it doesn't look good right now but it'll look even worse if they find out and know that you've done nothing about it.

I said earlier, you really should call the police. He's committed a crime.

[RebootYourEngine]

What does her dad say about them? Do you think he gave her the money and told her not to tell you and thats why she said a friend?

I would definitely report the shop to the police and the council.

[dimots]

Give it some time. She will want them lasered eventually. I would report the studio. Is there any way you could get them to pay for laser treatment as compensation?

[pieceofpurplesky]

Report the tattooist to the police. Speak to the school about the tattoos
Before they notice and get safeguarding involved as it is a child protection issue.
Ground her, get the police to speak to her about weed.
Start acting like a parent. In no way is it acceptable for a 14 year old to ever have a tattoo - good sentiments or not. You have not lost your 'baby girl' you appear to have been treating her like an adult - the majority of parents would have gone ballistic at one tattoo ...

[eaturveggies123]

I've spoke to her and she said she will under no circumstances get them lasered. She "loves" them and she's not going to get rid of them. I've had a proper look through her phone and I'm horrified. She's been meeting a 17yo pretty much twice a week for a while arranging to go to his after school, and she's been asking him to buy weed for her. He's refused but she said she'll get it off her ex instead. When confronted with this, she just refused to look or say a word to me. I don't know where my baby girl's gone.

[Fyaral]

Police and council for sure. Will she agree to get them lasered? OP can'y hold her down.

[ineedamoreadultieradult]

The elephant one is awful quality but should be easily lasered. The peter pan one isn't much better and will be hard to get rid of. I would make her get them lasered and make her pay you back the money for it. Report the tattooist to the council and the police.

[NaughtToThreeSadOnions]

I think you report to the council licensing dept also try trading standards

[pinkyredrose]

Report the tattooist to the council, he'll have to have a licence to open a tattoo studio. To be honest I think you should call the police, I think in legal terms he's assaulted your daughter.

[eaturveggies123]

I've found out where she's gotten them done. Imo (and I've got tattoos), I would never go there. The shop isn't clean, fag ends and empty cans everywhere and the tattooist smokes constantly. I would have thought the school can't do anything about it unless it can be seen in uniform? Where would I report it to?

[NameChangeIe]

The morse code is just for "L" is that the aunt? Or a boys initial?

[eatyouwithaspoon]

I would be furious and im surs the school will ask questions too, I wish this awful fashion of tattoos would go away the is a whole generation of young adults with stupid looking doodles on them. Im sure most people with tats love them but imo they mostly look awful.

[dimots]

On the plus side, dark ink responds best to laser removal.

[TobleroneBoo]

Sounds and looks like a trainee trying to make some extra cash!

[fuzzyllama]

No wonder they only cost £25. Speaking from experience of getting a tattoo, underage, in a friends house, she will regret these. At least the elephant will be easy to cover/re-do when she's s few years older and wiser and realises what she's done.

[DaftLemon]

I wonder what school would make of this. I think this would come under child protection.
You need to find out where she's getting this done and who and what is behind it.

[FaithLoveandHope]

Neither of then look great tbh. No reputable tattoo artist would do it for £20 /25. I've not got any but my friend got one that was tiny (less than an inch) and it cost her about £30/40 iirc. What your DD for should've got a lost more from somebody reputable. Does her dad know anything about it?