Pocket Money

[lovemyway]

Interested to know how much you give and how often. We give our 15 yr old £20 per month. She was happy with this but has found out her friend gets £60 and now "It's not fair!"
She has started a paper round and gets £10 a week and we are really proud that she has started to earn and learn the value of money but feels miffed that her friend has no job and still gets more.

What do you think? How much , if any, do you give?

[Nervousmoggy]

NB - I think you have to give short shrift to the whingeing about unfairness, as in any aspect of their lives there will always be friends who get more than they do, especially if you are not well off.

[Nervousmoggy]

mumsonstrike - what a great idea. And interesting that she didn't try to control how you looked after yourselves, but left you free to eat sweets for supper! Will you be doing the same for your children, if any?

[BoboChic]

bigTillyMint - DP used to wonder whether he wasn't being stupidly indulgent by paying for a personal trainer at the gym for the DSSs when they were at lycée. However, now they are at university and go to the gym 3-5x a week and actually know what to do when they get there he realizes with the benefit of hindsight that it introduced them to a world of clean living (to which they were most definitely not brought up in their early childhood) that has stood them and him in good stead.

University gym membership is terrific value for money, btw.

[kilmuir]

My DD gets her child allowance and she has a job. I buy school related stuff

[mumsonstrike]

Have nc'd for this because this will totally out me.

Every year, from when I was 12 and my older sisters were 14 & 16 my DM went on strike for 1-2 weeks. She gave us the budget that she would normally have spent on our food and we had to fend for ourselves. There were some basic staples in the house (flour, butter etc...) but everything else we had to go out and buy and cook ourselves. We also had to do all our own washing and ironing for those 2 weeks too although she didn't make us buy washing powder or anything like that.

We saw it as a bit of fun and a challenge, but in hindsight it really did help us when it came to us all going away to uni. We all went into self-catered halls in 1st year and then had our own flats after that. We knew how to budget, how much things roughly cost and how to make food stretch, as well as how to actually cook for ourselves. (although to be fair we all did a fair amount of cooking at home anyway so we probably could have done that regardless.)

Interestingly - my eldest sister saw it as an opportunity to buy all sorts of fancy biscuits and cheese and all her favourite foods which is what she is still like now. My middle sister lived off baked potatoes with a just butter or cheese for 2 weeks every year and saved the money for clothes - She still has a tiny appetite and would probably still choose clothes over food now! I paid for school dinners and then bought treats for my tea (yes a marathon bar and a packet of fruit gums is a totally acceptable tea ) - and yes, I do still love an M&S ready meal or a takeaway for convenience. I cook a lot, but I would far rather buy a ready-made pasta dish, or cook a simple supper and then bake a cake or play around with macarons or something for after!

[Nervousmoggy]

We have no money, and my 2 DCs (age 13 and 10) are setting up their own "college funds" - I am encouraging them to earn money, and to save half of what they earn into their own "college fund", which should remain untouched, until the unlikely event of them being able to go to college. They keep the other half to do as they like with. Admittedly, there is not a great deal that a 10 year old can do legally, but we are hatching a few money making schemes together. The 13 year old will be concentrating on busking.

[Fabellini]

Ds 15 gets £25 paid into his bank account every month. I pay his phone, and pick up toiletries in the weekly shop, and buy all his clothes unless he's after something specific that I don't think he needs, like a band tshirt.
His granny also gives him a fiver every month too.
His money usually lasts him the month, but he doesn't save any. He can earn more if he does stuff round the house - not the every day things like emptying the dishwasher or putting the bin out, I expect him to do those anyway - but helping in the garden or helping me clear out the loft....he's managed to get enough to to buy Christmas presents for me, dp, and his brother this year, and is quite chuffed with himself about it

[bigTillyMint]

Bobo, I think you're probably right Though you/they are lucky if they don't drink/smoke weed/whatever as that can eat up all the money very quickly. Or so I'm told

[BoboChic]

DSS1, who is naturally inclined to extravagance (DSS2 is a natural miser), has become far more censorious of money wasting activities since going to university. I think money takes on a meaning that it just can't have when they have to manage their food budget (this may be truer for boys with hearty gym induced appetites!).

[SheGotAllDaMoves]

That's interesting bobo.

I agree that budgeting whilst still living at home is going to be very different to living away.

The only under 18 I know who has a proper allowance from which he must buy everything (driving lessons, food, clothing etc) gets an enormous amount, so hardly a training ground for a university budget (though he'll probably continue to receive a huge amount ).

The rest all receive an allowance from which they buy school lunches/coffees and pay for their social lives. Parents still cough up for phones/clothing/expensive social activities etc.

[BoboChic]

We didn't teach the DSSs to budget pre-university, largely because any attempts to do so were routinely thwarted by the over generous adults (GPs, great aunts) in their lives. The DSSs have no first cousins and are overly endowed with ridiculously generous older relatives to whom any cap-in-hand approach was met with immediate excessive generosity.

However, at university they live within the budget we set and have aligned themselves effortlessly on local standards of dress. They don't drink. I'm not sure that pocket money budgets are going to teach them how to shop judiciously when self-catering (for example).

[SheGotAllDaMoves]

DH and I have been discussing this.

We give them £25 per week for food, then we generally give our DC further money (for clothes, socialising etc) on an as and when basis. Whilst we don't mind this and certainly our DC do not ask for unreasonable amounts, we think they should probably start budgeting before university.

But how much?

[21Oreos]

Yes, totally understand everyone is different and has different needs when it comes to money. Hats off to your son Ragwort - excellent saving power!

[Whathaveilost]

From the age of 13 both boys got £20 a week.

I still paid for phone, clothes, toiletries, sports equipment and subs etc.

Thankfully DS got an apprentiship at 17!

[lovemyway]

Thanks for all of your replies. I think I'll stick with the £20 per month plus phone and clothes. seems generous considering all she has to pay for is her socialising and she gets £10 per week from her paper round so £60 per month for fun spends is more than enough me thinks! Thanks again.

[katiekatie44]

DD 14 gets 20 a week plus I pay phone and clothing (with in reason!). She seems to socialise and spend it on waggamanas, fast food and Starbucks ! I do let her earn more if she's keen I pay her to clean £5 an hour but to a high level. She only tends to do that when she has to! For her £20 I expect her to tidy her room daily and wash up every night plus do all hw I deduct if she's being a pain!

[BackforGood]

Same as Ragwort here, Oreos.
My dc don't really spend much of their pocket money. They are all very busy with their hobbies and volunteering and stuff, so when they aren't out and about doing stuff, they tend to be in their bedrooms. They only use pocket money for sweets or pop and for birthday/Christmas shopping, or very, very occasional (like once a year) trip to something like cinema or ice-skating. When they want to watch a film they watch a DVD at someone's house - far more sociable, and general "hanging" tends to be done on camps or up mountains somewhere, where there's nothing to spend money on.
dd (now 17) has been earning quite a bit as a lifeguard over the last few months, but it's all gone into saving to pay for her driving lessons.

[dayslikethis]

I am actually quite surprised at how little some teenagers get - I thought we were pretty average but maybe not.

DS (10) gets £15 a month paid straight onto his osper card and DD (8) gets £10 paid onto hers. (DTs (5) get £7 a month cash)

We pay for their clothes, food, activities and presents for friends' birthday parties. We don't buy treats (unless we're all eating out together as a family obviously - but if they want some sweets or something they pay themselves) or toys. (I do occasionally buy books but simply because the older two get through so many.) They also pay for Christmas and birthday gifts for siblings and parents and save up for holiday spending money. (We might top up holiday money with a fiver each or something but that would be it)

DS is currently saving up for an Xbox which he will pay half of and the rest will be a Christmas present. They are each spending £15 on Christmas presents which will buy a £10 gift each sibling and a £10 gift for myself and DH - they decided the budget between themselves. DS went on camp this summer and took his own money with him. We had a family holiday at Easter and they all had their own spending money then too - once it was gone it was gone.

[bigTillyMint]

I think it depends what your DC do and how they spend their money.

My DC both have sports that they do which we pay for and take up quite a bit of their time. And they spend some time just chilling with us/in their rooms. We are in London so bus travel is free. My DC spend most of their time round at friends houses/their friends at ours/in the park/out in London and have enough clothes to not need to buy all the time. They don't really spend that much per week!

[Ragwort]

21Oreos - I guess every teenager is different, my 14 year old DS gets £15 a month and doesn't actually spend much. It goes direct to his bank account and he has only taken £10 out this year. . He has savings of a few thousand pounds already (from birth).

I appreciate some teenagers go to the cinema/coffee shops/bowling etc but my DS tends to spend his time playing sports or on the playstation (which he saved up half for and got the other half as a Christmas present). If he meets his friends after school or at the weekend they just tend to kick a football around in the park or go to each other's houses for more time on the Playstation. He keeps some of his Christmas/birthday money back for the odd item of clothing/trainers but he is generally very frugal. .

Last year's Christmas stocking had loads of Lynx/socks/boxer shorts and I will do the same again this year.

[21Oreos]

I think some of these amounts are setting your children up to fail!
Honestly, I am not saying this to be mean, but I think a reality check is in order.
15.00gbp a month and they have to buy most stuff themselves? Surely that is unachievable?

[gamerchick]

My 15 yr old gets his child benefit so 20 a week, on top of that he earns 10 a week and gets 20 a month pocket money from his stepdad. He has to do all school busfares etc and any other spends out of that and does a lot of housework without being asked as well as help out at the SN club once a week my youngest goes to.

if he spends up then it's tough but he's quite good at it now.

[rach2713]

My son is only 8 and I start off with 20 a month and if he misbehaves and doesn't do his jobs and back chats money gets taken off and what ever he is left with at the end of the month he gets no money rolls over always starts the month at 20 pound

[insan1tyscartching]

Dd got £20 per week, we paid for phone and clothes. She used hers for entertainment, presents, savings etc. She also got herself a weekend job at M&S so was never short of money.