DS (15) has an ambition to join the army but is serverely underweight.

[VoldemortsNipple]

All DS has ever wanted to do is join the army. He is in cadets and hopes to go to the army college next September. After battling with my own insecurities about him joining up, I fully support his decision.

Last week we went to the recruitment office so we would have all the information well in advance. Now DS has always had a slight build. He was born on the lowest percentile and has remained there all his life. Therefore, although he has always been skinny, I've never worried about it. As skinny as he is, he is quite wirey and muscular. I expected to be told that DS would have to work on his physical fitness and bulk up a bit. But somewhat naively, I didn't think we'd be told he had to have a healthy BMI. To achieve this, DS would have to put about 2-3 stone on while also working out to increase his fitness.

The fact that his BMI is so low, has really opened my eyes to the need to help him improve his diet but all the information I come across seems to be aimed at bodybuilders. I'm also really worried at how I'm going to afford to improve his diet when my food budget is already strained. I really am confused in how best to help him. I'd feel as if I had let him down as a mother if he can't fulfil his dream because he is underweight.

[myotherusernameisbetter]

When mine weren't that keen on eggs, I made a lot of French Toast - they didn't seem to think that was egg somehow - the fact that DH let them sprinkle sugar on it probably helped.

[VoldemortsNipple]

Sugar on French toast or eggy bread as it's called in this neck of the woods

I suppose if ds wants it badly enough, he will eat eggs or whatever else I can think of. I think his biggest problem will be to build up his appetite as much as anything but hopefully if he increases his fitness, his appetite will grow anyway.

[SilverStars]

If he stopped fizzy drinks would he have more appetite? Then could eat or drink things that are less sugary and more helpful for him to get into the army? If I drink fizzy drinks I have less appetite.

[GnomeDePlume]

VoldemortsNipple my DS has put his application in at the ARC. He has had two interviews, his medical form has gone to the GP. His next step will be the two day assessment.

What trade does your DS want to go into?

Initially my DS wanted infantry but then had a chat with the CO at cadets who suggested that having trade which he can use after the Army was a good thing. Now he is putting in for REME.

Like you say though, someone in the army gives advice then they take it. I give the self same advice and I might as well be talking to the cat!

[VoldemortsNipple]

silverstars I totally agree. I don't like fizzy drinks personally and have cut back on buying them at home but need to stop buying them completely I think. Ds will still buy them on the way to school I'm sure but I think if we can pack more calories into breakfast before he leaves for school it would help.

Gnome ds wants infantry too, I don't think there is any persuading otherwise. DS doesn't turn 16 until February so he can't apply until after Christmas. I've told him if his weight and fitness arnt up to scratch by then, he will have to hold off putting his application in. The man we spoke to at the recruitment office was great too, telling ds that they wouldn't take him if the school tell them he's not working hard. This was great because we'd been called into the school before they broke up because he wasn't putting any effort in in drama, which I think is because ds doesn't see that it has any relevance to his career choice.

[GnomeDePlume]

Has your DS spoken to the CO at his cadet detachment? This did help my DS enormously.

The thing we are making clear to DS is that he is in charge of this. If he fails the fitness tests then he will be turned straight round and sent home from the assessment course. This isnt something he will be let off for smiling nicely and being polite.

We have provided the power bag and the jerry cans. DS has to use them.

[VoldemortsNipple]

I'm not sure who he has spoken to at cadets but he does seem well clued up. There has been a few boys from his detachment who have gone to Harrigate who he keeps in contact with as well so that helps.

Tomorrow he is back from camp so I can sit down properly and discuss an action plan with him. As you say, it's really down to him to make the changes, we can only provide the tools. I have decided to start getting up earlier to make him a hot breakfast such as beans or egg on toast and send him to school with a packed lunch so I know what he's eating. So if he is serious, he will agree with me and eat what he is given. DH has got him some weights and gym equipment so fingers crossed, that will start to make a difference.

[AuntieStella]

Can you get hold of a copy of the Official Army Fitness Guide?

[PrimalLass]

Won't he just have to eat what he is given at army training? He needs to work on that too.

[PrimalLass]

You can blend a raw egg in with a protein shake.

[EveDallasRetd]

Add message | Report | Message poster PrimalLass Thu 14-Aug-14 11:46:17
Won't he just have to eat what he is given at army training? He needs to work on that too

He will get choices.

In a junior ranks canteen he will be able to eat pretty much the same as he eats now - cereal for breakfast, baguette for lunch and a pasta based evening meal. He could also choose a full fry up for breakfast, a burger for lunch and egg and chips for tea! The military will always provide options, will always provide a healthy option and will always try to impress upon him the importance of a good diet. But they cannot force him to follow one.

99% of military camps are now following the Pay As You Dine (PAYD) model. Rather than paying a monthly food charge they pay for what they eat - so if a soldier wants to eat McDonalds every day, he can. If he wants to be fussy, he can.

On exercise / on rations it's different. You get what you are given. But even then there are options such as boil in the bag sausage and beans, burger and beans and chicken tikka.

[EveDallasRetd]

Oh and sorry OP, that was no help to you at all. I think protein shakes and some decent weight/multi gym activity will be good for him.

[Sleepwhenidie]

Try and make sure every meal and snack includes protein and good fat, so things like eggs, raw nuts, unsweetened nut butter, cold pressed oils on veggies and salad, avocado, fish (especially salmon, or tinned sardines/tuna in olive oil), meat, full fat dairy. When he has a protein shake add a banana and a tablespoon of nut butter and a teaspoon of chia seeds. Include lentils, chickpeas, quinoa and peas as often as you can (cheap ways to bulk out meals healthily).

He should also do some strength training, body weight stuff at home is fine - push ups, tricep dips, planks, squats, pull ups will all be great for building him up.

[AuntieStella]

Do you have an outdoor gym in a park near you? That would be a good place for him to work out for free.

Fitness, as well as being needed for the role, is also during recruitment a proxy measure for motivation to be the best and to be as ready as possible. Showing that he's taken on board the messages about the gap between his current physique and the required one, has taken the initiative in working out what needs to be done to bridge that gap, and has applied himself to doing just that and is making good progress will stand him in good stead.

[VoldemortsNipple]

auntiestella I think the fitness pack ds received from the army is basically a condensed version of that book. We do have some machines in the larger parks but I don't know how good they are. There is always kids messing about on them rather than people doing proper workouts. I think apart from a chin up bar, which I can pick up cheap on Amazon, he has enough equipment. If he uses what we have regular and then says he needs something in particular, then we can pick it up but he needs to show commitment first I think. Sorry, that sounds a bit negative towards you. I think you're definitely right about showing strength of character if they see he has made strides to improve his fitness.

primallass as I've said, he's not that fussy where he won't eat a lot of foods it's more the fact that he has a tiny appetite. Somebody asked for a sample of his diet up thread which I provided but that's not all he will eat. He doesn't like cheese which restricts a lot meal choices which can add extra calories. He is a typical teenager when it comes to vegetables but will eat some and he is not keen on most cakes and puddings. He has been away with cadets to camp to have some idea of what food is on offer and it's not put him off. He just needs to work on the actual act of consuming more calories on a daily basis iyswim.

eve that actually was helpful, thanks.

sleep thanks, some good tips there. I might have to blend up the pulses in soups and stews to avoid them being picked out and he doesn't like peanut butter but maybe another type might have a milder taste. Failing that, I'll tell him it's a snickers smoothie

[micah]

I was told the "bulking up" thing for the army isn't actually the case.

Apparently a lot of lads go down the gym, lift a lot of weight, get bigger. Then they get to army training and it's all endurance, assault courses, running with packs etc, and the muscle bulk and lack of endurance fitness makes it considerably harder. What the need is a high strength:weight ratio- so a lot of body weight resistance- rope climbs etc.

Can he go see an army recruitment officer and see exactly what the requirements are, if he hasn't already done so?

For the fitness I'd think circuit training or something like triathlon. Triathlon he could join a club, they tend to be adults and fairly up on the latest fitness and nutrition. Swimming, running and cycling will build muscle and endurance...

[micah]

Also- you might find a increase in physical training drives his appetite naturally :)

[VoldemortsNipple]

hi Micah yes we've been to the recruitment office. The fitness test is actually pretty basic. Run a mile and a half in 10 minutes 30 seconds, lift 40lb sack onto a 5ft wall and something else I can't think of. He recently ran that distance in 11 mins 10 sec when he was at army work experience and thorght he could have done it quicker. The fitness program we received from them is all about improving his core strength, upper body and cardio. All the exercises are based on using your body as a weight. I honestly wouldn't have been too concerned if he just had to work on his fitness. It's just making sure his bmi is in the healthy bracket as the recruitment officer said this would be an automatic refusal at the medical.

[TheFairyCaravan]

voldermorts we've been to see DS1 today and brought him home for a long weekend. He has lost a lot of weight in the past 6 weeks, so encourage your DS to gain as much as he can.

[VoldemortsNipple]

Thanks fairycaravan I hope your ds has been enjoying his training and you have a good weekend spoiling him. I get my own ds back from Anni-camp tomorrow. Feels like he's been away for ages.

[GnomeDePlume]

Voldemorts, I dont like to worry you but I think that it is a 40kg pack which needs to be lifted! I believe that the third thing is the jerry can run. This is two 20 litre (full) jerry cans carried for a distance DS couldnt remember.

[VoldemortsNipple]

Oh yes 40kg, I knew that. He said it was basically the weight of your rucksack full of your kit. I don't like the sound of those Jerry cans, I'll have to start sending ds to Tesco Not fun when you live on top of a hill.

[lljkk]

Shopping runs on foot isn't so crazy, I do most of our shopping on foot. But I've knackered my shoulder carrying heavy loads whereas in military they might make more sure the bag was good against the back well & not likely to cause strain where it shouldn't.

Then again, I'm in my late 40s, so a bit of wear & tear may be normal now.

[Ninjabread]

If he ramps up his exercise he will a lot hungrier.

[secretsquirrels]

If he hasn't yet had that huge puberty growth spurt you may be surprised how much his appetite grows with it.
Both of my skinny boys easily tripled their food intake when they had their growth spurt. DS1 at age 12 and DS2 at age 15/16.
It doesn't put much weight on them though because all the extra calories just seem to be absorbed by growing upwards.

I'm not a fan of protein shakes. Much better to learn how to eat the right foods. A lad who won't eat potato must be particularly difficult to feed when I think of the mountains of carbs mine consume. I think I would be a bit more ruthless in pushing him to eat what you can afford and what the rest of the family is eating.