Anyone out there with a large age gap between siblings?

[Debbiedowner]

I am expecting my second child - 14 years after my first! Not intentional, we have been trying for 10 years. Anyone out there with a similar gap who can advise on how to anticipate potential problems?

[majidrozati]

6 children in the house, 5 with small gap in age and the last (me) with 11 years gap from the youngest of other 5. Mom & dad worked hard for basic living + less time to spend w / children especially in regard to future of the last one. I am 45 and luckily became successful in everything including having my own family. The past does not leave me alone ..... allowing to enjoy life to the fullest. What are your thoughts. Thanks

[wannabestressfree]

My youngest brother is 16 years younger than me :)

[BrendaandEddie]

THIS THREAD IS FROM 2006

[Preshitha]

Hi to All.. I have a daughter 8 years old.. now planning for a 2nd baby.. my elder one will turn 9 when my second child is delivered. Will that be a big gap? i dont want to embarrass my elder daughter at any cost.. i am terribly confused..

[Timetoask]

My oldest sis is 12 years older than me. I remember tiny snippets of my time with her as a child (very protective of me), but mostly I just remember her being away at uni/postgrad for my formative memorable years. We get on extremely well. She always thinks about me and cares for my wellbeing (as do I of her)

[CheerfulYank]

It probably did Ward...this thread is almost nine years old :o

[Ward3]

I have a friend who was born when her sister was 14 and her brother 12. The age difference seemed to work out extremely well as they all adored each other. Babysitting was still fun and new for the older children and as they grew up she was able to visit and stay with her older siblings alone.
I don't think you need to worry about the gap -- everything will work out.

[natmeistergeneral]

I have a fifteen year old, a twelve year old and a just-turned-two year old! The biggies absolutely adore the little one and vice-versa. They can be very handy helpers too.

[izzybiz]

My Ds was 11 when i had his sister.

I was only 16 when i had him though, so thought i would wait untill i was old enough to have my next child!

They have a wonderful relationship, she absolutely adores him, and he is fantastic with her. She still annoys him at times though, but is always his princess!

[QueenEagle]

dd is nearly 15
ds1 is nearly 13
ds2 is 10.5

ds3 is 3.6
ds4 is 21 months

Lovely because it means dd babysits and we pay her once a week.
ds1 is brilliant with the little ones too.
The older ones look out for the younger ones and it's made their maternal/paternal instincts shine through.

Horrible at times because things seem to revolve around the little ones and the 3 big ones have to just put up with it.
Also a downer is that the older ones can get the little ones really hyper and it's hard to then calm them down.
Little ones also spoil things the older ones want to do ie with pens etc lying around and schoolwork.

Congratulations by the way!!

[Saturn74]

There are 6 years between my middle sister and I, and 13 years between my youngest sister and I. We have always got on pretty well, and it's interesting as it means we have always had a wide variety of friends. I was also pretty useful as a free babysitting service too!

[lucy5]

My younger brother is 18 years younger than me and we get on like a house on fire. There is 16 years between him and my sister and they don't get on so well, but to be honest it's not an age issue just to do with position in the family.

I am expecting a baby and will have a six year gap. Congratulations!

[BabyHare]

My son was born when my dd was 12... she is more often than not OK with him but it is on her terms definately! She does babysit at a price but I find it very hard switching from bob the builder to potential drugs, smoking, boyfriends etc etc. She is now 15 and my son is 2.5... makes for interesting weekends I have to say! Also hols are a nightmare cos she does not want to go to the farmpark etc and he will not sit still in the cinema... my parents do come in handy..... not the easist age gap in the world but we had IVF in the end after 5 yrs trying so not really our fault... but good luck! x

[Mytholmroyd]

I have four children, three daughters 16,14 and 5 and a boy of 5 months. Same father. My daughters find it quite amusing that people presume he is their baby - and they do. I too was worried about the reaction but they have been great and are wonderful babysitters. I had just read the eldest the riot act about being sensible with her first serious boyfriend and not getting pregnant and then found out a week later that I was expecting (definitely not planned!) . Talk about having to eat my words - and she really rubbed it in in the best possible taste... Still I hope its a warning to them all!

[catsmother]

I have a 13.5 year age gap between my two (16 and nearly 3). This wasn't intentional but life just turned out like that.

The advantages are that there is no sibling rivalry, jealousy or bickering. Though my son can find my daughter a "pest", it's clear he dotes on her. There's obviously no competition over toys, or who has the biggest piece of cake. I have 2 stepchildren with a small gap and have to confess the bickering and bullying (of the younger by the older) drives me up the wall.

Disadvantages ??? .... well, one of them is that it's really hitting me hard around about now that instead of the "normal" 16 years or so of real dependence upon me within a more conventional family set-up, I will instead have had nearer 30 years of being totally depended on by the time my daughter is 16. That hadn't really occurred to me (stupid I know) before but as my son is now finally reaching the stage of being properly independent, I've suddenly realised that if I'd had my kids closer together, I would be looking forward to actually being able to go out spontaneously and without worrying about babysitters very soon.

But then again, I wouldn't change my daughter for the world.

[kooky]

congratulations! There is the same age gap between my DS and DD. DS is fabulous with his baby sister, he absolutely dotes on her and looves playing with her. It's great having an extra pair of hands!

[Judy1234]

There is 10 year gap between our older 3 and the twins. It has been brilliant so good for family cohesiveness. I just took all 5 on holiday abroad and the 3 older ones (now just about adults) were like having 3 au pairs with me. The twins could do fun things like being thrown around a pool by big brothers and sisters. It has also helped the older ones learn how to deal with children and made them more responsible and able to see what having a family is like. Sometimes it has been hard - the worst thing can be sleepless nights plus teenage angst which we had a while and now they sleep through the night the worst bit is getting them to sleep so I can relax ata night but then finding that's when the teenagers come into their own so in a sense 24/7 someone is awake just about. We have had days when the baby is waking up at 5 as a teenager is wending its way home from the London nightclub.

[Debbiedowner]

Oh Ladies, you have made me laugh so much. Thank you, I feel better just knowing there are so many of you out there who have been there and done it. Although we know our lives will be completely changed when the baby arrives, it sounds like we have lots of fun in store as well.

[brimfull]

also the contraceptive effect of having a teen who stays up late and a toddler who wakes up early....no time to yourselves.

[iris66]

lol at the contraceptive effect tomal. DD announced she was "never ever" going to have children after seeing me pg, the "massiveness" of DS (8lb 2) & the lack of sleep.

[tomal]

I have dd 16yrs, Ds1 15yrs and ds2 4yrs.Ds2 was not planned but has brought huge joy to our lives. I agree with others that dd used to get very dirty looks when she pushed him in his pushchair!there are many positives to this age gap. There is less sibling rivalry,lots of people to love him and play with him, extra pairs of hands to help when needed, on hand babysitters (although I have always said that mine should only do it if they wanted to).negatives are that they want to do completely different activities, this can be especially difficult on holiday. Also as somebody else said, you are dealing with widely different problems at the same time - teenage mood swings, boyfriend problems, exam stress, followed by potty training,and the general demands of a young child to play with them and feed them!
Most of the time we are a really happy family and I hope if nothing else, having helped look after a young child will act as a contraceptive to my older ones as they know exactly what hard work looking after a baby is!

[ggglimpopo]

Message withdrawn

[Auntymandy]

my eldest is 15 and my youngest not quite 2

[CheesyFeet]

There is a large gap between my youngest two siblings - 13 years. My youngest sister is 18 years younger than me and our relationship is more niece/aunty than sisters as she doesn't remember me ever living at home. That said, our relationship is a good one and we are in touch all the time.

It was great for my mum because she had more grown up helpers and instant babysitters when dsis was a baby