Holiday clash with GCSEs. WWYD?

[Lightshines]

I've been offered a fab one-week girlie holiday for just the price of just my flight. It might be difficult for me to keep in touch with home during the week as Wi-Fi is apparently limited, but not impossible.
However, the week on offer is the 3rd week of DDs GCSEs. She has 4 exams that week. DH and DS would be home with her.
Do I stay, or do I go?

[Travelledtheworld]

Well done and well done for admitting it on this forum !
Hope you went somewhere worthwhile.

[Lightshines]

Reader - I went!

DD obviously missed me whilst I was away but we were in constant text/messaging contact. My holiday was slightly spoiled by the guilt of not being at home during that week of exams.

However, all was well in the end - DD passed 8 out of 9 GCSEs and is able to go on and do what she needs to do next.

Might she have got 9 out of 9, or got better grades, had I been there for that week? Actually, I honestly doubt it.

[madeofkent]

Stay - both of mine have had exam wobblies and I know DBH wouldn't have dealt with it as sympathetically. He also wouldn't have that radar that tells him when they are off out late partying instead of revising with a friend, with an exam the next morning.

[Dancergirl]

Also definitely wouldn't go.

TBH I think it's silly to ask dd what she thinks. She may say it's fine now but how does she know how the exams will go and how she'll feel at the time?

Sometimes girls need their mums around, no matter how good dad is.

[TeaAndALemonTart]

Definitely wouldn't go.

[Bonsoir]

We don't even go out to dinner with friends during exam season - let alone away on holiday. DSS2 has an oral for a bac exam next Wednesday and DP and I have postponed a dinner RDV with friends of ours so that we can stay home and provide dinner/moral support/an audience for rehearsal/hot chocolate/whatever he might need (or not need) the night before!

[thegreylady]

I would stay, sometimes when exam stress is at its height only mum will do. A quick hug, a hot drink and a sympathetic ear are essential. You will make sure she goes out properly equipped and fed in a way her dad or brother may not think of. You will have other holidays.

[wordfactory]

I wouldn't go.

DC can often get tired and very emotional during the later stages of the exam season. This when they need super amounts of TLC and support.

[mindgone]

Would you enjoy the trip or feel guilty once there?

[Nocomet]

I'd ask DD, but I'm sure she'd say go!

The only thing that panics her is maths and DH is the house maths tutor.

(DH and DD share a hobby, they do weekends away together. So they can be trusted not to kill each other, just).

[Bowlersarm]

I wouldn't go.

[truelymadlysleepy]

*taking

[truelymadlysleepy]

Gosh, tricky one. I'm a firm believer in tacking opportunities but having just been through it last summer I think I probably wouldn't go.
But , my DS's are quite needy & DH doesn't support mollycoddle like I do.
If she's fine, really fine & worry won't ruin the holiday for you then go.

[hellsbells99]

I work away from home 2 days a week. During DD1's gcses I continued to do the same. This year I have 1 doing AS levels and 1 doing gcses. I will continue as normal as they have DH here to support them. The only thing we are being extra organised about I ensuring they have lifts to school on exam days so they can be there early school bus is often late
If your DD is fine about it, then I would go and leave lots of chocolate and snacks

[QwertyBird]

My parents went away when I was doing my GCSEs. Didn't bother me... sepends on the child. It's not like you can do much to help, and your DH is there. The important bit is the revision ahead of time, and you are there for that.

[mrsjay]

three book holiday on your own no kids no phone for after all that

[ThreeBeeOneGee]

In 2020 I'll have one doing A-levels and two doing GCSEs at the same time. I might end up wishing I'd gone away!

[AtiaoftheJulii]

Had one dd with GCSEs last year and the next dd is this year. I wouldn't go. There's not much to be done if all is going well, but I wouldn't have wanted not to be there. It might have been ok to leave dd1 but I still rather wouldn't - although she got tonsillitis during her exams and I was very glad I was there to sort out a doctor's note etc - but I definitely wouldn't leave dd2.

But if your dd and your dh are both fine about it, then I don't think you should feel bad if you went!

[mrsjay]

I wouldn't go either but ask your daughter what she thinks and if her dads around then why not he can cope

[BackforGood]

I would, if dh was there. I guess this depends on the nature of your dd's relationship with her Dad though - if you think you can provide something he can't, then don't, but if he can provide everything you can, then go, if it's something you want to do.

[sandyballs]

I wouldn't but then my DH still thinks you can leave school with no qualifications and be offered a selection of jobs, like he did in the early 80's!!

If he was more into the exam culture and understood the necessity these days, then I would go on hols.

[evertonmint]

My Dad went away for a week during my A Levels on a rugby holiday to South Africa. And he was the sort of dad to be very involved, make me a cuppa and bring me cake while I was revising, ask after exams, run through stuff if I wanted someone to ask questions etc. And I had a place at Cambridge riding on the results!

He knew (as did I) that there was nothing he could do that mum couldn't at that stage as it's about logistical support at that point. He had put in hard work as support staff in the months leading up to it. And most importantly to me he had my exam timetable and phoned before and after each one - and this was in the days before mobiles and cheap overseas calls! That actually was special - made me realise that I was very much in his thoughts even while he was away having fun.

Life doesn't stop when exams are on. Provide huge amounts of support to your DD in the run up as you would anyway, and ensure that your DH is up for making cuppas, forcibly pushing her into bed at a decent hour if she's attempting late night panic revision and is up for last minute French vocabulary run throughs etc. (I still remember my mum's appalling French pronunciation as she revised this with me - so very very loving and supportive of her to try, and yet so very funny!) And sod the expense - phone and text her while you're away to check in after exams. And bring her a great present!

She will be fine. She's said she will, and as teens are often prone to being all "me, me, me", I would believe her if she's ok with you going :)

[TamerB]

I think you are about 50/50 so I doubt it is going to be decisive.

[saintmerryweather]

I would go

[GW297]

I would stay. Your daughter will need you there.