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Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Teenagers

I probably don't want to know..

30 replies

njaw · 14/02/2013 18:37

But I'm feeling sadistic and want to punish myself.

How much do your DC (particularly interested DC12-15) do around your home in the way of chores?

OP posts:
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Ligs · 15/02/2013 01:26

12 yr old DD has 2 main chores and that is to empty the dishwasher and keep her room clean/tidy. In reality she does nothing (without an argument anyway). Now I've added feeding the dog to the list and if she doesn't do it, her pocket money is being stopped and I'll keep on adding to the list. End of! She'll learn by hook or by crook I am she who is to be obeyed ;)

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exexpat · 15/02/2013 01:00

DS (14) will babysit for his younger sister and occasionally pick her up from school - as a single parent that's probably much more helpful to me than housework, which he doesn't really do much of. I should probably start getting him to do more, for the benefit of his future independence as much as to help me, but he's always been rather clumsy/impractical so it has always seemed more hassle than it's worth. He will (generally) do stuff I ask without complaining, except for actually tidying his bedroom (I think it's a territorial thing).

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missnevermind · 15/02/2013 00:32

Mine nearly 15 and 12
Make own breakfast.
Make own lunch - packed on a school day - scavenged out of the fridge holidays and weekends.
Take own and little ones (1 and 4) clean washing upstairs and put away.
DS1 - Empty dishwasher nightly, has to be reminded every night, never fills it.
DS2 - all fetching and carrying on the stairs as asked - I have a bad back - he never refuses or moans.
Change own beds - bunks - when asked.
Put rubbish out if requested.
DS2 Generally does anything requested of him - including a spot of babysitting while I am in the kitchen or upstairs.
DS1 It really isnt worth the earache to ask him to do anything not on this list.

DS2 got a £20 in an envelope as a Christmas bonus this year for looking after me and the little ones while I was ill.

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manicmother80 · 15/02/2013 00:03

We live in India, and we have household help, who are very affordable in this country. So my 14 year old daughter doesn't do any chores, but she does make some pretty wonderful gestures once in a while: for my birthday this year, she cooked me a very elaborate meal and set the table very creatively, for instance. But whilst she is happy to cook fancy meals for other people, she hates doing her own chores and have never even attempted cleaning her room/ doing her laundry or the dishes.

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Struffle · 14/02/2013 22:52

Mine (aged 16, 15, 12 and 10)
make their own packed lunch
take turns to dry up daily (and wash up occasionally when I am ill, tired, busy)
put own dishes in dishwasher
make own breakfasts
put clothes in washing basket (well, the eldest manages Hmm)
tidy room when nagged
oldest mows lawn weekly in summer
oldest 2 pick up leaves in autumn
empty dishwasher or lay table when asked
they are all capable of hoovering, dusting, cleaning windows (indoors) and ironing simple things but don't often get asked to do this as I am a SAHM and usually do this sort of thing myself.

DD can bake cakes on her own, and the oldest 2 occasionally get told to make a simple dinner - trying to train them up.

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sydlexic · 14/02/2013 22:42

DS is 12 and does nothing. He goes to schol 14 miles away and gets up at 6.15 has a long day and homework so I think that is enough. I am a SAHM so don't worry about it.

I clean his room but never tidy it as he never makes a mess.

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minicreamegg · 14/02/2013 22:37

Mine is 14 -
keeps her room tidy, I don't go in her room so if her washing isn't in the basket it doesn't get washed.
Makes her breakfast
If I'm going out I'll say 'give the livingroom a wee tidy' so she'll put the toys away and sweep.
To be fair I don't expect her to do much but she will play with DS (11 months) so I get peace to tidy/clean/make dinner.

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BOF · 14/02/2013 22:26

16 yr old dd does errands on request, but I don't insist if she is genuinely busy with something important, as she's an A Level student now, and has people to see, places to be...

I feel that it's more important to teach her independence and self-sufficiency, so although I don't often ask her to wash up or clean the bathroom etc, she has done her own laundry and ironing for a couple of years now, is responsible for her own room (which is a hovel, but that's beside the point: I don't have to deal with it), and she organises herself in terms of transport to activities, academic work etc. She also cooks her own meals, as the vegetarian of the house, and sometimes prepares stuff for her younger sister.

She is going away with the school tomorrow, and has organised her own packing, passport, buying of toiletries, snacks for the coach etc.

As I'm not out of the home working at the moment, I expect to pick up a lot of communal stuff, but she adds very little to the general load, IYSWIM, as she is pretty good at looking after herself. It might sound a bit 'detached', but I think she is fairly well-prepared for going to uni or whatever in a couple of years.

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Shallishanti · 14/02/2013 22:14

ds is 17
he is supposed to get the milk in umprompted but never does
he has to lay the table every night
he has to clear up after dinner every night (with the help of a parent)
he will help with hoovering/tidying if we have a blitz (but he does it badly, due to dyspraxia)
he 'puts away' his own clothes- I don't police this
he irons his own shirts Shock
will pop out to corner shop if asked
does half of all pet related tasks
will put washing on the rack if asked
puts out recycling
not too bad I suppose

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DeafLeopard · 14/02/2013 22:12

14yo DS has autism so likes things ordered. He is also in the cadets where they are hot on being helpful and looking after themselves and their own things, and are all expected to pitch in and do chores there - can't praise them enough for the way they get them to do stuff Grin

His room is therefore spotless, clean, tidy and organised, he puts dirty washing in laundry basket and puts his own washing away. If he makes himself something to eat then he cleans up after himself, puts stuff in dishwasher after he has used them. He also likes taking care of his cadet uniform so spends hours polishing boots and ironing his uniform as my slatternly efforts aren't good enough.

Whilst he wouldn't necessarily see that something needs doing and then do it, if I ask him to do something (put a load of washing on, empty dishwasher, put out recycling etc then he will do it) - that said I do give him the odd pound here and there for doing something willingly so he usually does stuff cheerfully as it means he may get a few quid for doing it.

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Toomuchtea · 14/02/2013 22:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

landofsoapandglory · 14/02/2013 22:03

Mine do quite a lot because I am disabled.

One always helps cook the dinner
They Hoover and mop the floor, usually every other day.
Keep their rooms tidy
Put laundry away
Load and unload dishwasher
Set table
Take the bin out/ bring it in
Mow the lawn if DH is not around
Wash the cars if DH is not around.
DS1 can drive and is insured on my car so runs errands, picks up prescriptions, pops out for milk etc.
Both make their own lunch and breakfast and tidy up the kitchen after themselves, in the holidays and weekends.
Peg the washing out bring it in, if they are at home.
DS2 likes to iron.

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chocoluvva · 14/02/2013 21:55

Wow - some of you should you should lend me your teens to set mine a good example...

Mine do their rooms.
Make their own snacks, breakfast and sometimes lunch at the weekends.
They chuck their damp towels on the floor beside the bathroom Hmm.
During the holidays they're expected to do half an hour or one significant piece of housework every day.

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MrsRochestersCat · 14/02/2013 20:22

DD1 13, DD2 11

Change and wash their own bedding once a fortnight.
Put the bins out.
Do all the dusting and wash all the windows (they fight to do this!).
Do the washing up and drying (a hated job - never their own turn).
Set the table and get drinks.
Cook the odd meal (would do this more but I am a bit of a control freak).
Take it in turns to make all the packed lunches.
Put a load of washing on/ hang it out/ fold it in to piles.
DD1 will do the ironing if asked.
DD2 likes to make cakes (and will clean up afterwards if not distracted).

Frustratingly they don't do any of the following without much persuasion:
Hang their coats and bags up
Pick up their drawings/snippets of paper/fluffs of ribbon/books...
Put their washing piles away.
Tidy their rooms.
Pick up their wet towels.
Tidy their bed in the morning.
DD1 leaves packets and water bottles EVERYWHERE!! (Taking note from another thread I will be putting all such rubbish in her school bag from now on).

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BackforGood · 14/02/2013 19:30

Oh yes, get own breakfasts, and I didn't count baking as a 'job' as they all like doing it.

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BackforGood · 14/02/2013 19:29

ds - 16, dd1 - 14, dd2 - 11

are supposed to
cook evening meal each 1x a week
whoever's not cooking lays table and gets everyone something to drink
clears table after selves, putting stuff in dishwasher
empty dishwasher/put away on request (prob only once ot twice a week each)
put away clean washing
keep rooms tidy
if they want something to be ironed, then they iron it
help out occasionally when asked... maybe getting stuff out the tumble drier, or maybe emptying the bins from round the house on bin night, or maybe making me an dh a cuppa, etc.

In reality, all of their rooms are a tip, and washing often hangs about for an age before going away, but aside from that, they do as expected / hoped

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flow4 · 14/02/2013 19:28

Both my DSes (13 and 17) look after their own rooms and do their own washing (and any rare ironing they want). They make their own breakfasts, lunches (if they're at home) and snacks - I do tea. They are expected to tidy up after themselves as they go along - wipe down cooker and surfaces after use, pick up towels after shower, put plates etc in dishwasher - but they need constant asking/reminding... They take turns laying the table and loading the dishwasher after meals. DS2 occasionally makes tea (DS1 used to do it more when he was younger, but will now only do it if I'm ill or desperate). Once in a blue moon, and/or when visitors are coming, we'll have a family cleaning session, and they're expected to co-operate :) DS1 will do other jobs for cash!

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BehindLockNumberNine · 14/02/2013 19:25

Arf, there is a d in sandwiches!!

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ThreeBeeOneGee · 14/02/2013 19:25

Oooh, hoovering and recycling!

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BehindLockNumberNine · 14/02/2013 19:24

Oh yes, I forgot,

He also makes his, his dad's and his sister's sanwiches for the following day
Gets his own breakfast in the morning

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BehindLockNumberNine · 14/02/2013 19:23

Ds is 13.5 and quite a good egg really. Here is what he does:

Tidies own room once a week
Puts own washing away when asked (sometimes hung, sometimes dumped on shelf in wardrobe)
Empties dishwasher every night
Helps lay and clear the table every night
Hoovers the whole house once a week
Walks the dog when asked
Takes bin and recycling to outside bins most evenings
Cooks a meal once a week (he enjoys this so asks to do it) and occasionally bakes a cake or biscuits

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out2lunch · 14/02/2013 19:18

Mine just walk the dog if I beg them to
Otherwise nothing

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alemci · 14/02/2013 19:12

well he sounds like a goodun.

My dd does nothing and her room is a tip. She is nearly 18. She does have a job one day a week but I can't wait for her to leave and go to university/gap year so I don't have the mess in the house. she will occasionally do a job but it so painful to get her to do anything that I have given up.

DS does the odd bit of washing up if asked and will strip bed

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ThreeBeeOneGee · 14/02/2013 19:01

He does the basic minimum he can get away with, because he is nearly thirteen.

Sadly for him, my basic minimum involves pulling his weight and contributing to the household tasks.

This is what he does:
Keeps own room tidy and floor clear.
Puts own dirty laundry in basket and clean laundry away in wardrobe / drawers.
Puts own dirty dishes in dishwasher after meals.
Makes own breakfast and clears up afterwards.
Changes own sheets once a fortnight.
Cleans own rugby boots three times a week.
Cooks meal for whole family one evening a week.
Either washes saucepans or cleans surfaces & sweeps floor on all of his non-cooking days.

He does other jobs (mowing lawn, going to buy the paper, emptying the dishwasher, putting a load of laundry on) if asked, but wouldn't volunteer.

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Startail · 14/02/2013 18:57

DD2 will do packed lunch, because she hasn't time to queue and get to hockey club.

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