stroppy soon to be teenager

[chillistars]

AAAAARGH! Sorry just had to get that off my chest.
My soon to be 13 year old is turning into a monster, a real jekyll and hyde character. Absolutely lovely one minute, downright horrible the next - shouting, swearing, slamming doors, being rude to me, horrible to her younger sister...etc etc.
Nothing works, loss of pocket money, loss of priviledges etc etc - money is not a motivator, as long as books are available to read then losing anything else is not a hardship and I will not take away books.
I worry about what to do to help, what to do re discipline and what to do about the neighbours who must be sick to death of the noise that she makes.
Help! Even if just to say you have "been there done that"

[smileANDwave2000]

ive two teens and an 11 yo and they are both pretty lazy and argumentative all the usual slamming doors stomping about mumbling swearing, you have to be pretty thick skinned and let it wash over you as my 11yo is autistic and a handful too, but im also going to listen more stricnine gave good advice there i tend to shut off if there shouting and swearing and say i wont listen at all but it doesnt work so i shall try that tactic ty

[Eventhedogsabitch]

I'm with you, my 12 year old is HORRIBLE! A shocker as her 14 year old sister is a joy... middle child syndrome is alive and well and living in my house.

[Stricnine]

The best advice I got was from Mumsnetters (!) ... listen to the words not the attitude (not the swearing obviously, although I wouldn't necessarily take issue with it unless in company where it's unappropriate).. and let it all wash over you

[2gorgeousboys]

Chillistars I could have written your post but about my DS1, he's 11 and a complete Jekyll and Hyde at the moment. One minute his usual lovely self and the next a complete change and he's rude, obnoxious and full of attitude. Desperately hoping things get better/I can learn to manage it as I'm not sure I can cope for 10 years (and then it will be DS2's turn )

[2gorgeousboys]

Chillistars I could have written your post but aboud DS1, he's 11 and a complete Jekyll and Hyde at the moment. One minute his usual lovely self and the next a complete change and he's rude, obnoxious and full of attitude. Desperately hoping things get better/I can learn to manage it as I'm not sure I can cope for 10 years (and then it will be DS2's turn )

[Bumply]

I found that once DS1 turned 13 and was actually a teenager I got less stressed about his attitude. I used to think "If he's like this before he's a teenager what's he going to be like when he is one", but once there I felt better about it.

[ImtheDD1]

I feel for you, and for my mum...I was the same!

I would say an "attitude" only counts when it manifests itself in something, and swearing, screaming and shouting are all actions that can be sanctioned. I was grounded for 6 months for swearing at my mum. Not that I minded to begin with, I could read a lot.

It got boring when I ran out of books though.

[chillistars]

hmm, so is swearing when I ask them to back into the house to get a forgotten hoodie something to ignore and put down to attitude or something to deal with?
And when they have stayed up late and younger sibling has fallen asleep on your knee (not well) what do you do when they start screaming and shouting and telling you to get lost when you ask them to lock the front door and pull the duvet back on siblings bed so you can put them straight in? All this at 10pm and the neighbours must have been wondering what on earth was going on because she wasn't just shouting but actually screamed and then shouted to "leave me alone" and more bad language.
Thanks.