Teenagers and food

[Megmog2000]

I have 2 teens, both boys, both are very different.

the youngest DS is 14, and what I would call very typical, wont do anything to help unless nagged, wants to play on xbox/laptop until ridiculous hours if he was allowed to, eats me out of house and home and choosing rubbish over healthy good.

The eldest DS is 16 (in 3 weeks) and is totally the opposite of his younger brother, he is very passive and mild mannered and never makes a fuss. He will help out when asked and generally is a nice lad. He does however, cause me a few worries - he doesnt eat much, when he is at school, more often than not his packed lunch ends up coming back home, but instead of putting it in the bin, its left in his school bag to fester, if I give him lunch money, Ive also found his 'cheese panini' (its all he ever has at school) half eaten in his bag. When Im around he does tend to eat ok, but left to his own devices and I doubt he eats anything.

DS does have a few problems, he has constitutional growth delay and is therefore about 4 years behind his peers in the height department (he looks more like 11 than nearly 16) and as a result of this his puberty is also delayed. Im sure the lack of nutrition is having an impact on his growth, but despite all the tests at the hospital, they do not think he has any nutritional problems.

He has no friends, that I would call friends, more a acquaintences and NEVER goes out other than to go to school or with me if he wants to come if I go out.

Its difficult to know what to do, whenever I ask him about friends etc, he just says he isnt bothered, but it doesnt appear to be noraml behaviour for a teen. Or is there anything such as normal?

Does anyone have any ideas on how I can encourage DS to eat more, I take him food shopping, I buy him what he asks for but doesnt seem to make a difference.

Help!!

Thanks

[sharon2609]

I ate ravioli and chips and an iced finger every day for 3 years at school!!( Doesn't say much about the cooks ability to vary menu !!) I wouldn't worry too much what he eats..just that he eats what he fancies. I'd be more concerned about the friends issue....I do feel for him.

[Megmog2000]

Thanks for the replies everyone.

I dont think DS has an eating disorder, although its not to say it hasnt crossed my mind. I even went through a stage of standing outside the bathroom to listen in case he was throwing up after eating, but there wasnt any concerns. He eats well at home, and whilst takes his time will eat a decent sized dinner with the rest of us. We often go out for dinner and food is never an issue then.

Im beginning to think that school is an issue where food is concerned, if he takes lunch money the food he buys has been known to be stuffed in his bag - he only ever buys the same thing: cheese panini, cake and a drink!! He could also be spending his lunch money in the shop on the way to school!! I guess its what kids so. He tends to sit in the library at lunchtime, and I know that he cant eat in there so time might be an issue as well. Although I would expect him to be hungry when he gets home but he doesnt tend to 'snack' gorge like his brother does when he gets home.

I guess I should just monitor him and see what happens, at least he does eat at home and getting someting.

Thanks again

[inthesticks]

Does he eat at home with you? Is he actually faddy or just not hungry? If you cook a meal and eat as a family will he eat it? If it was just school or packed lunches I wouldn't be too worried.

Your younger son sounds like most teenage boys I've come across. One of DS1s friends is 15 and very far behind the rest growth wise but he still has a huge appetite. TBH I've never met a boy who didn't eat like a horse, though some of the girls I think are overly concerned with calories.

Sad that at 15 or 16 he seems to have no friends, is everything alright at school?
I would second bonsoir's comment and wonder whether he has an eating disorder?

[woollyideas]

My DD doesn't eat much at school either. Refuses to take packed lunch and says school meals are 'mank', queues are long/time is short, people get shoved around, tables are dirty, people 'eat with their mouths open' (did I tell you she was a princess?). Sometimes she gets herself something from the canteen at morning break (pizza slice, flapjack...) and eats in the playground, but other times I suspect she's spending some of her lunch money in the local shop on her way to/from school.

When she comes home from school she is ravenous which I take as a good sign that she has an appetite which is just not being catered for at school. Does your son want to eat when he comes home? If so, it suggests there's a problem with WHAT is available, rather than not wanting to eat generally.

I try to make sure DD has a reasonable breakfast (although I can't monitor this as I leave for work at 7.30) and a good evening meal and that she has a reasonably healthy snack when she gets home and try not to get to fixated on the lack of food at lunchtime.

(After all, I am the person who eats my packed lunch at my desk at 10.30 a.m...)

[Bonsoir]

Is your older DS anorexic?

[oldenoughtowearpurple]

My ds is a bit like yours. He is 20. Left to his own devices he will eat almost nothing, although when the mood takes him he will suddenly really fancy something and then will eat loads. Eating at school was always a problem - he hated the food and the whole canteen/queuing/noise/joshing atmosphere.

Despite being skinny as a rake he is never ill - i can't remember him ever having a cold and he still resents the fact that he only had about 3 days off sick in his whole school career.

When he was at school I made sure he had a protien-based breakfast and that we ate well as a family in the evenings. It seemed to work for him.

[AMAZINWOMAN]

My kids won't eat at school either. The queues are too long to get a school lunch. They don't eat their packed lunch either as they'd prefer to play football.

[MissSayuri]

This has brought back some memories for me. I too used to find uneaten lunches in my dd's bag about 2 years ago when she was 13. It turns out that she was spending her pocket money on lunch as she was embarrassed about having a packed lunch when all the other kids went to the local chip shop. Could this be a problem?