"All teenagers lie"?

[NoNoNoNo]

So is it true? Do even "the best" teenagers with great relationships with their parents tel lies as part of their way of finding independence, and establishing their own identities in the world?

A few years back I would have said that was nonsense, but I'm less sure lately. My eldest tells substantially the truth (I think), but I know he dilutes it now and then. My younger ones are possibly too young to lie yet.

What do you think? Do your teenagers lie about the little details? can we believe them, and in what circumstances?

[SuzieHomemaker]

I try not to push DCs into a position where they feel the need to lie.

I had an awkward relationship with my parents so have always tried to keep things honest. 'DS, did you brush your teeth? By the way your toothbrush was bone dry so if you did you didnt use water'.

I try not to catch DCs out. It isnt fair.

[kidsncatsnwine]

I think I'm relieved that my teens aren't entirely honest! We've rarely had BIG lies (mostly DS1 at his worst teen stage, and he always got caught) but little lies of omission are just natural I think..

I don't NEED to know just how drunk my DD got after A level results day.....

And after the thread on Chat about what we all got up to, I REALLY don't want to know...!:)

[Tortington]

oh yes, lying by omission is high too.

[MeringueUtan]

course they do!
nutt

[MoodyTeenager]

I've noticed many people go on about how they did it too when they were younger but most seem to not want their own children to do any of these things. Reading through the thread 'things you got away with as a child' it's pretty clear that you've done it all before so why stop your children from having the same opportunities? You survived it after all.

Probably the wrong place to put this but oh well.

[BitOfFun]

My teenager lies sometimes- about stupid stuff often.

I only bollock her if it's important though- we all turn into PR agents for ourselves with our parents to a certain degree, even as adults.

[JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar]

twopeople that's a really interesting perspective.

[DustDustDust]

I don't often lie to my parents, but it's mostly because I don't really do anything worth lying about. I would probably lie if the need arose and I lie by omission on occasion, but I can't really think of anything particular I've lied about. I tell them where I'm really going, and what I'm really going to do.

It's not a case of all teenagers lying, it's a case of it being human nature to lie. Teenagers probably do it more, because they usually have more reasons to.

[pinkchoccy]

My eldest lies all the time and believes his lies. My 2nd child is 19 and he doesn't lie but will just avoid telling me things he doesn't want me to know. My daughter who is 15 has lied and been caught out. She covers for her friend who lies all the time to her Mum who isn't aware of her lies. She does some fantastic acting to go with it does this friend, and it is my daughter who told me the truth of a certain matter. I had to tell her Mum. The story and the acting was amazing, would have gained an oscar. This friend has also told my daughter to say she was sleeping at her house when in fact they were going to stay somewhere else. My daughter told me because it seems she struggles to keep a lie up. She doesn't lie well but some are experts.

[ratspeaker]

Ah there's lies
Then lies by ommision



A lot depends on the questions you ask
Or the ones you choose not to

[NoNoNoNo]

Cool thanks. That's more or less my experience too. I was just atken by a conversation at work a while back when a colleague was insisting that my son probably smoked, on the basis that she had smoked when she was a kid, and I couldn't take his word for it because "all teenagers lie".

In fact I'm pretty sure he doesn't smoke, though I know he takes the odd drink, and almost certainly fibs a bit about that

[TanteAC]

Probably, yes. But not always for reasons of evil!

Some may lie for privacy, but apart from those who are up to no good, a surprisng amount of teenagers lie to 'protect' their parents! Obviously, teenagers are the first people to do anything, EVER, so I am always amused (and actually quite touched sometimes) at what they think adults have never heard of/wouldn't understand/would be confused by and therefore might worry them.

And without a doubt, loads of teenagers lie because they know they're doing things you wouldn't be happy about or that they simply don't want you to know about. I did this, and still do have an inner 'parent-edit' button as adult! Ridiculous, but the way of the world IMO

[GetOrfMoiLand]

I can tell when dd is lying. She blinks really strangely as she does it.

And she lies about the most ridiculous stuff.

Me: Have you used my hair spray
DD: No
Me: You are lying, aren't you?
DD: Yeah, sorry.

She KNOWS I can tell and she still carries on. She can tell when I am lying as well. I ring her up from work and say I am just going out the door and will be in in 10 mins. She just says 'you haven't packed your laptop away mum, and you will get caught up in something, see you in an hour'

[pagwatch]

at asdx2s Ds

[asdx2]

My oldest three (two past teenage now) lie and no doubt about it and then try backtracking when they have been found out.
My ds with autism is still learning to lie but hasn't yet grasped that they need to be believable and he shouldn't grin like a cheshire cat whilst trying to lie

[Goblinchild]

My Aspie lies by omission Riven, and by being sneaky.
He's not very good at it, but thinks I'm a witch because I Always Know.

Him telling the truth at inappropriate times, or answering a question with complete honesty has got him into more trouble (and a couple of detentions) than lying.

[Remotew]

Mine doesn't lie. I wouldn't expect her to tell me every minor detail nor would I tell her.

[pagwatch]

Agree with goblin and pixie
and lol at poor Riven getting more info than she really wants.

DS2 does occasionally lie about brushing his teeth. Then we are pleased because he has only just learnt how and that makes DD whine yet again about how unfair it all is and how Pagboy gets all the good stuff ... and

[cleverlyconcealed]

I think they call it being economical with the truth.

ds1 could lie for Britain.
ds2 has real problems with lying - he's a bit eccentric and lacks socal skills and seems to have no trouble telling it how it is.
dd is justdeveloping her lying skills.
dd

[Elsaz]

"I wouldn't be surprised if sometimes he decided to not mention something which has happened, so as not to worry us..." I do this to my mum and I'm 48 . I don't think it is lying, though.

[AMumInScotland]

How about "All people lie"? I don't feel that I need to tell the complete and absolute truth to everyone in all circumstances, specially if I think something is none of their business.

So, if teenagers do the same, then I don't think that's so very odd.

The important thing in all relationships is that you don't think the other person is lying in a big way, about important stuff. I have a teen (16yo) - I believe he is basically honest about things like where he is going, and who with, and what they are doing. But I don't expect him to tell me every detail. And I wouldn't be surprised if sometimes he decided to not mention something which has happened, so as not to worry us...

[BollockBrain]

oh i see. thanks rainbow.