Stroke/Alcoholic/Recovering

[Ladybug1173]

Been married 12 years blended family, have been through many issues with one child/my alcoholism/ and trying to keep family together. But since 2010 I have been a stay at home mom and since 2016 husband hasn't let me drive and now wants a devoice. He has sent me to jail and the alcohol has caused alot of issues. The past 2 years I have gotten so much better but with any time i fall he threatens devoice no he wants me out. I have my 2 boy and no money at all no job, I'v had 2 strokes and have delt with anxiety depression and the acholium. He said I will never drive and he does't care I need to sign the papers or he will get anoter cpo order on me and get me out of the house again. I will be homeless.

I'm not sure how to go about this with all that we have been through so much to say. We would drink tougher and when he saw he didn't like me buzzed he started controlling my intake and telling me what to do and thats when he took my credit cards money and keys. I started sneaking alcohol and It became destructive.

What do i do 48 year old mom

Hello Ladybug

Your story sounds very complicated and I am not sure how much I can suggest but I just wanted to offer you support. I can relate to certain parts of your story based on how bad my life became all due to by alcoholism (ended up banned from driving with suspended prison sentence due to my level of alcohol / lost custody of a child (she’s currently in foster care and I’m fighting to get her back after 2 years of abstinence). The main difference for me is that by husband hasn’t threatened divorce seriously but I think one more drinking occasion he would and I’d be homeless - but I do understand some of what you’ve been / are going through.

I would say (and I know it’s easier said than done) but make sure you have no slips with drinking so he has nothing to use against you from now. I actually achieved this after I had hair follicle tests forced on me to get my driving license back - maybe you can do these voluntarily to strengthen your case regarding a CPO if he’s serious and it’s a good incentive not to drink to know you can’t get away with it.

If you think he’s really serious about kicking you out of the home and he can then do all you can to look at your options of where you can live and see the help your entitled to. If you have a child will that improve your chances of social housing / support?

Do you have a friend / family you could stay with while you get back on your feet?

Due to your strokes are you entitled to any Disability allowance if it prevents you from working? Or is there any work you could find and manage so you can become financially independent?

Are you receiving treatment for the anxiety and depression so you can at least feel a bit better without drinking? I take Lyrica (pregabalin) for my anxiety plus escitalopram and it is a wonder medication for me - I feel calmness like I never have in my life and am not tempted to drink one bit

Your problems do seem a lot and I really, really feel for you, not that that helps!

I have an alcohol problem

I have an alcoholic problem

I drink 2 much

I have been there and can understand- drinking makes things feel better and problems go away in that moment but mostly things feel worse when you sober up. Is you DH still asking you to leave?

Petitecoccinelle

Thank you for the feedback, I'm looking into outlets just in case, at this point he won't let me drive, I lost my job, he said even if I find another job, he won't drive me to this one. He has become very mean and hateful. I'm doing as much research as I can because I have lost all my friends over the years, and I have no family. My two boys are 18 and 15.

There is so much to my story, but the end is what it is, and at my age my mental capacity all I can do is what I can do. Thank you so much for reaching out. It does help to hear I'm not alone and to hear some of your story. And keep up the good work sounds like things are getting better.

                                           Ladybug