Does anyone else ever feel a bit sort of ... genetically inferior?

[QuimReaper]

I have:

• Thin, fine, straight hair, mousey in colour, that grows at a snail's pace and seems to snap with the slightest provocation. (And is now greying, at 27!) It is the BANE OF MY LIFE and I am always sighing over people with lovely epic tresses
  
• Hypoplastic teeth with some that just never came through, meaning they're spaced and some of them are spindly and it's so hard to keep them white.
  
• Milk bottle pale skin which looks OK if it's clear and nice, but ANY amount of acne, sleep deprivation, sun damage etc. shows up like crazy and takes forever to fade
  
• Bendy nails so I could never have talons (not that I want them, but still...)
  
• A naturally quite slim figure, but not one that has ever looked good in a bikini, even when there wasn't an ounce of fat on me. Looked nice when clothed, but scrawny when unclothed, and a sort of round belly even when I was skinny as a rake. I'm now 10-14lbs heavier than that and although I'm right in the middle of the Healthy BMI, the weight sits horribly on my frame, it's all spare tyre, flabby upper arms and a bit of a double chin.
  

I actually scrub up OK if I say so meself, but it's constant work. Hair needs to be styled to look like anything; nails manicured; teeth have been invisaligned even to just look "normal" (as opposed to perfect, and I didn't get the bottom ones done which I should have); SPF 50 all year round and constant fingers crossed / tips and tricks to avoid breakouts; desperate to lose those extra pounds so I don't look a fright in my wedding photos, etc. I would love to be able to be less of a slave to it all.

I feel like some of my friends look like Thoroughbreds beside me. One in particular is such an English Rose, hair sprouting in gorgeous masses out of her head, strong straight teeth, pale but in a lovely rosy way, and never had a pimple in her life; AND although she carries more weight, it all seems to go into a gorgeous hourglass

Not looking for tips as such, just wondering if anyone else feels similarly disadvantaged by their genetics and wants to commiserate!

[PNGirl]

Yes! 34E boobs which come with massive upper arms and broad shoulders, a pancake arse, short legs, no cheekbones, dry hair and nails and the metabolism of a sloth. My mum manages to stay a size 10 only by eating nothing but a banana all day before her tea. I look like the cartoon Tasmanian Devil.

I have clear skin, curly hair, and am generally healthy (plus I like the boobs) but I was never going to look like Kendall Jenner.

[ppeatfruit]

Take ground linseeds in a fresh fruit smoothie every morning with a glass of water, it thickens up your hair and strengthens your nails (it works) .

[letisnowtime]

There is a genetic condition, which I carry, and my dc have, called ectodermal dysplasia. It can be very mild, or severe. A mild form can cause sparse, frizzy hair and weak nails. Pale skin is a characteristic too. Those with a mild form may not know they have it.

[TooExtraImmatureCheddar]

I'm with you on the crap hair, OP! I wish I'd got dark hair like my mum, but I got mousey brown like Dad instead. I did get the thin fineness of Mum's hair, though! DH has really thick hair but DD got mine. Why can't the good hair genes dominate? I also have awful teeth - and that's after braces as a teenager! You should have seen them before!

On the plus side, I have small hands and feet, slim ankles and calves, long eyelashes, green eyes and I'm not bad looking. I know what suits me and am happy with my taste in clothes (just need the money to buy them!). I tan easily. I have nice boobs. I'm a bit overweight but quite toned after Shredding hard for 3 weeks. I like being short. So it's not all bad at all, but I wish I'd been born with lovely dramatic red hair or midnight black curls or something.

[MsBojangles]

There is a genetic condition, which I carry, and my dc have, called ectodermal dysplasia. It can be very mild, or severe. A mild form can cause sparse, frizzy hair and weak nails. Pale skin is a characteristic too. Those with a mild form may not know they have it.

I follow a woman on Youtube who has this, she's a writer and a really good book reviewer, which is why I subscribe to her channel. She has one of the more severe/rare versions I think - it affects her teeth, fingers and vision.

[madmomma]

quim my parents were the same, and I was never complimented on anything visual. When I complained that I was fat as a teen (I was, a bit), my Dad comforted me by saying 'but you've got bags of character). He wouldn't let me get a brace because he said crooked teeth add character to a face. Obviously his teeth were naturally straight so how could he know.
I am very plain, pale and doughy, with no cheekbones and a thick waist even when slim. Joy hey?! I try and make the best of myself but life just isn't fair is it.

[paddypants13]

Neither me or DH are the best looking but we've managed to produce two beautiful children who seem to have got the best from both our families. Beautiful strawberry blond hair, huge bright blue eyes, perfect rose bud mouths and lovely complexions. If we hadn't been present at the births, we wouldn't believe they were ours!

I quite like my mouth, eyes and ears but the rest of me is not at all appealing. My cousins are all tall, blond and gorgeous or tall, brunette and gorgeous! (Bitter, moi? Never!)

[alltouchedout]

ALL THE TIME.
I'm plain, very hairy, chunky (atm), prone to spots, pale but not in that nice creamy way, have stupid turned in knees, have enough head hair for three normal women and it's dry and frizzy to boot, have heels like hooves, can't do anything other than bog standard makeup, am the opposite of stylish and apparently (I've recently been told) chew weirdly.
However I am quite nice and dh fancies the panhs off me so Meh.

[Jmangel]

Yes yes yes. It never ceases to amaze me how beautiful some women are out there - I find myself in awe of them and just staring like they're a princess unicorn. I'm afraid girls there is a genetic lottery and I do wonder how those that won truly feel about it and do they know how lucky they are.
I've always felt inferior and truly feel like my looks held me back in lots of areas of my life. I dropped athletics and sport because my skin was so red and spotty and looked so much more oily when sweating etc. I never learned to swim properly as couldn't risk makeup coming off in pool. A large nose and zero confidence with it and acne kept me in a destructive relationship for over a decade of my life as I was terrified to meet anyone else. I became the bookish clever girl at school and completely went the other way and overcompensated for my lack of looks with alcohol to cope with social situations. I also have scoliosis and had to wear a back brace at 15 - wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy and I genuinely think has scarred me for life in terms of confidence.
I have 2 gorgeous daughters and hope that they don't have to go through what I went through especially with acne.
In dark moments, I feel like I would trade my brain for beauty - very unfeminist I know but that's how I feel. Then I meet women who truly have it all - looks, brains and a fab personality - we want to hate them but they're just too adorable!!

[Brassica]

I recognise a lot of these comments and also feel like Jmangel that my looks have held me back in life. I was born with a cleft lip and 43 years later I just don't think I'll ever get over the fact that I am basically ugly. I feel cheated that I am not and could never be described as pretty.

As a result of the cleft lip (which was obviously repaired as a baby) I have a nose that is flattened on one side, one nostril that lies on its side while the other is vertical, a scar between nostril and lip, thin lips and bad teeth and a face that is not symmetrical so what I see and am at least used to in the mirror is really, really different from what I present to the world. I am continually shocked and deflated by photos of me even at my age! I had further plastic surgery after leaving school and it made very little difference to anything.

And just recently to compound everything my skin has become the devil's work and I have bad acne, so even make up is struggling to make me feel better about myself.

I am intelligent and have done well at work but I utterly lack confidence. My children are really beautiful and I thank God for this but also wonder how 50% of them can come from me, really. I actually still cry about being ugly even now.

[spankhurst]

Brassica, an assymetrical face isn't necessarily 'ugly'. I think most people are compassionate enough to see beyond a scar. My SIL is has a a large facial scar from an accident but still looks attractive. I'm not trying to minimise your feelings, your post made me sad.

[whirlygirly]

Paddy, same here! I looked at ds just tonight and realised he has the most gorgeous features. Thick mop of hair, lovely eyes, button nose and pink Cupid's bow lips. Tall and lean too.

Xh and I are really quite average. The dcs managed to scoop the best features of both of us and avoided everything else.

I think you all sound lovely.

[herecomesthsun]

Naomi Campbell has said that the thing about her appearance she likes most is the scar from her cleft lip op (I have seen cat walk footage where it seemed very obvious, less so in pics could google). She is an amazing beauty and the scar is a very small element in all that- but it is there.

Rossy da Palma has a very asymmetric face. (actress in a lot of Pedro Almodovar films)

Sarah Jessica Parker has an extraordinary face, long, big jaw.

Trudy Styler has facial scars from an bad scar accident.

The thing is that no one is 100% and it is possible to have some majorly unfashionable/ unconventional face and body characteristics and still be very attractive.

There is a lot more to a person than looks.

And even as looks go, there is a lot more to looking attractive than being perfectly symmetrical (no one is) or fashionably skinny etc.

We need to accept ourselves as we are and enjoy who we are to start with. Having a bit of fun with style can be part of that.

[albertcampionscat]

This Nora Ephron line comes to mind:

' Oh, how I regret not having worn a bikini for the entire year I was twenty-six. If anyone young is reading this, go, right this minute, put on a bikini, and don't take it off until you're thirty-four.'

[herecomesthsun]

There's a lot of media and marketing pressure on women, you must be perfect, you must look like beautiful perfectly made up teenage models who are shot through a filter and airbrushed and photoshopped. And if you don't look like that, buy our foundation etc.

Whereas you might have nice eyes and nice boobs and a great smile and that is what people see, they don't necessarily notice other stuff with which one as a teenager is preoccupied.

[MsBojangles]

Naomi had a cleft lip op? I thought the scar (which I've never ever seen) came from a dog bite or something....anyway, when something that's literally invisible to the naked eye is the only thing you dislike about yourself, you're a Supermodel

[bishboschone]

I think everyone does ( at least a little bit ) I'm short and constantly fighting my weight although I'm a size 10 . I would look much better at size 6-8. I'm not mega ugly or mega pretty and I cope by telling myself this . i have pretty eyes and amazing hair ( I'm told ) but it doesn't come easy and my hair is tricky to control and my long eyelashes are blonde without mascara . Hey ho

[KatharinaRosalie]

I'm stong with big bones. I don't mean fat - my bones are actually large. If I compare my wrists and ankles with DH, they're twice as wide. So I look either lioke a brick shithouse, or if slimming down, start to look bony and square straight away.The saying that 'skinny cow is not a gazelle' was made for me.

DH on the other hand is tall and slim. With long, elegant limbs and delicate ankles. He has the hardest time putting on weight and especially muscle.

We have DS and DD. Of course the plan was that DD would take after DH, and would be this tall elegant woman with slim long legs like a giraffe. And DS would be stong and athletic, like mum. But guess what we got..

[scandichick]

I lived in Milan when I was in my twenties, and constantly felt like the Giant from the North next to the dainty size 4 Italians. To add insult to injury, the local chain shoe shop didn't even stock size 7 shoes

And I was much thinner back then...

[Chipsahoy]

I'm told I am pretty. Sometimes the word cute is used (cos I look so young). But I don't see it, all I see is the excess dark body hair I m plagued with. Gorilla hands and arms, hairy toes, one eyebrow (I was called seagull in high school), side burns, tache etc etc.

[DingbatsFur]

Today I got a message from someone in ebay whose husband is interested in something I listed to wear as he cross dresses.
It's a size 12 damnit

[TheDowagerCuntess]

I think everyone has aspects about themselves that they're seriously displeased about. And the way beauty is presented to us - i.e. as a standard we have to adhere to - means that we fixate on the negatives that leave is falling short of that standard, and gloss over the positives.

It should be the other way around.

I'd say that maybe it's just human nature, but most men seem to operate on the right level of focusing on their positives and glossing over the negatives!

[Youvegottobekidding]

Sometimes, well most times I feel hideous & have done since being a pre-teen, I'm 40+ now. I think the older I get the less bothered I am.

I'm a size 14, but I have a really large wobbly protruding stomach - all, well most of my fat is deposited there. I think my shape is odd, it's kind of like an upright bulldog! Anyway I don't carry weight very well. My face is very very round & I have really chubby cheeks, my head is like a football. If I cheekbones, I don't know where they are! I have no definition between my jawline & neck.

My sil is very pretty, she always has immaculate full make up on, she looks bloody amazing on photographs, I've never seen a bad one of her. She's a bit bigger than me and she looks really good, she's in proportion. Sometimes I wonder what it must be like to be like her, to know you're pretty.

I wear a bit of make up when I can be bothered & clothes wise I'm comfiest in skinnies, t-shirt, hoody & pumps. If I wear anything remotely 'more' dressy, I feel uncomfortable, like I can't put a full face of make up on with bright pink lippy just to take the kids to the park or sit in the house! My hair is my only saviour - it's quite thick, but a bit damaged.

Sound great don't I! 😁 As much as I've droned on, the way I see myself, well that'll probably never change, so I've just got to get on with it, it doesn't stop me from every day life.

[Whippet81]

Yep totally feel that way:

Fine wavy hair that always looks shit
Horrible mottled skin
Crap nails
5 foot flippin nothing
Really struggle to keep weight down My teeth are like rock and at 35 I have no fillings etc but they're wonky. No dentist has ever been convinced about straightening them.

I know exactly how you feel. All these people who can fall out of bed and look good grr.

[GreyBird84]

Absolutely OP. I think about this all the time.

Short & fat - weight loss is slow & steady at the minute
Severe acne - face neck back chest
Pale skin with history of skin cancer - so my acne just screams red & blotchy
Currently have braces on top row
Greasy lanky hair that needs washed every day (don't tell me I should wash it less it doesn't help mine)
Brittle nails
Wide fat feet & fingers

I really have been trying to focus on my good points eg I can lift heavy weights at gym. But I just wish I could wash & go someday without having to do so much to myself to just look remotely passable.