Does anyone else ever feel a bit sort of ... genetically inferior?

[QuimReaper]

I have:

• Thin, fine, straight hair, mousey in colour, that grows at a snail's pace and seems to snap with the slightest provocation. (And is now greying, at 27!) It is the BANE OF MY LIFE and I am always sighing over people with lovely epic tresses
  
• Hypoplastic teeth with some that just never came through, meaning they're spaced and some of them are spindly and it's so hard to keep them white.
  
• Milk bottle pale skin which looks OK if it's clear and nice, but ANY amount of acne, sleep deprivation, sun damage etc. shows up like crazy and takes forever to fade
  
• Bendy nails so I could never have talons (not that I want them, but still...)
  
• A naturally quite slim figure, but not one that has ever looked good in a bikini, even when there wasn't an ounce of fat on me. Looked nice when clothed, but scrawny when unclothed, and a sort of round belly even when I was skinny as a rake. I'm now 10-14lbs heavier than that and although I'm right in the middle of the Healthy BMI, the weight sits horribly on my frame, it's all spare tyre, flabby upper arms and a bit of a double chin.
  

I actually scrub up OK if I say so meself, but it's constant work. Hair needs to be styled to look like anything; nails manicured; teeth have been invisaligned even to just look "normal" (as opposed to perfect, and I didn't get the bottom ones done which I should have); SPF 50 all year round and constant fingers crossed / tips and tricks to avoid breakouts; desperate to lose those extra pounds so I don't look a fright in my wedding photos, etc. I would love to be able to be less of a slave to it all.

I feel like some of my friends look like Thoroughbreds beside me. One in particular is such an English Rose, hair sprouting in gorgeous masses out of her head, strong straight teeth, pale but in a lovely rosy way, and never had a pimple in her life; AND although she carries more weight, it all seems to go into a gorgeous hourglass

Not looking for tips as such, just wondering if anyone else feels similarly disadvantaged by their genetics and wants to commiserate!

[oldlaundbooth]

Seriously, these thoroughbreds put the work in too, you know.

No make up, hair slapped back and comfy clothes on I look like pretty bad. Make up on, hair blow dried, nice clothes, I look a lot better.

The majority of women do not look like goddesses stepping out of the shower.

Not many Rosie HW in this world!

[oldlaundbooth]

I am not tall and lean. I never will be. I have stubby legs.

I eat well, exercise and make the effort. My hair is nice, twinkly eyes, good skin (because of all the damn veg I eat) and good boobs.

What more do you want??!

[314PrettySweetMamaJammer]

Squizita, I bet the difference between you and your twin is not nearly as big as you think it is. I know twins and one identifies with being the less attractive, less intelligent one and she'd buy and sell you and stop traffic.

[dragonsarebest]

In ten years you'll be kicking yourself for not having realised how gorgeous you are right now. Enjoy the now and be certain that your English Rose hourglass friend is probably wishing she looked a bit more like you :)

[QuimReaper]

It isn't even about being ugly necessarily, just feeling like I got the barrel scrapings!

If I were livestock I'd be the one that kept coming back from the market unsold

[CakeThat]

Ugh I definitely got a whack with the ugly stick - mega frizzy, tight curly hair that won't grow beyond my shoulders, giant lop sided boobs and a bright red face with acne from age 10 and still lingering 30 years later.
Old photos of my parents- they looked like '50s movie stars.
Nature can be cruel.

[bluesbaby]

It's okay, there's lots of us. Power in numbers and all that. Maybe we should beat the beautiful people with our ugly sticks?

[hollinhurst84]

I'm with Dingbats. Normal size people stand next to me and I feel like some kind of oversized clumsy giant
If you want me to deadlift 120kg or shift something heavy, I'm the person

[DramaAlpaca]

And I'm with Dingbats & hollinhurst. I'm tall, broad & strong & I feel like a carthorse next to my mother, who is tiny, petite & delicate. I've got my father's genes.

On the plus side, I have fabulous long legs and nice hands and ears

[AnnaMarlowe]

So quim what you are telling me is that you are 27, with sparkly blue eyes, a pretty smile, a lovely milky complexion on top of a slim figure with knock out legs.

Uh huh. I can completely see your issue.

You are 27, please, please don't waste the next ten years feeling bad about how you look. Suddenly you'll be 40 and looking back at pictures kicking yourself for not recognising your own beauty.

I tell my DC, that presentation is more important than looks and you work with what you've got. A nice smile and a confident attitude goes
a long way.

to be fair they look like their Daddy so they're both gorgeous but they don't know that yet

I'm wee and curvey. Even at size 8 I look sturdy rather than delicate. I can't carry off dainty but I can work to make my body strong and athletic.

I'm typically British in colouring so I burn rather than tan but that means my skin looks 5 years younger than all my lovely golden friends.

My hair is a bit troublesome but it's shiney and I've learned that an expensive hair cut is worth the money.

I have a 2 noticeable scars but they are an excellent barometer for arse holes - anyone rude enough to comment them on first meeting is unlikely to qualify as a friend.

Despite what the magazines would have you believe very, very few adults roll out of bed looking fabulous. Pretty much everyone puts in some effort with hair or skin or clothes (men included). Google 'celebs without make up' to see what I mean.

The best thing you can wear is a smile. You sound awesome - go smile at yourself and remind yourself how fabulous you are.

[UntilTheCowsComeHome]

God yes.

I'm short with a longer body and short, dumpy legs. I have skinny ankles but big calves. I'm the sort of pale that's almost blue but with red splotches in places.

I have a missing tooth thanks to an evil dentist, mousey hair that is curly underneath but straight and lank on top that tends towards frizzy.

I have one hip higher than the other, a wonky nose since it was broken aged 19, and a very sticky out belly. I have stupidly narrow and flat feet with hairy toes.

Good bits:
34E tits that have stayed perky.
Nice shape arse.
On fleek eyebrows.

[MsBojangles]

It's okay, there's lots of us. Power in numbers and all that. Maybe we should beat the beautiful people with our ugly sticks?

Excellent idea, bluesbaby

[TheCraicDealer]

I've found my people.

I am also 27 and have (ahem):

• Mousey brown, tine hair, now dyed blonde. Any whiff of rain, wind or humidity makes it go frizzy at the ends and flat at the roots.
• A high hairline which is even higher at the temples, fringe is a non-negotiable.
• Blonde, fine and sparse eyebrows which I resorted to having tattooed on.
• Bingo wings. Honestly, our arms are a family trait.
• V small boobs (but I still love them)
• Funny legs where my knees sort of jut out and try to meet in the middle.
• Cankles.
• Square stubby toes.

There are some good things (fab bum, flat tum, reasonably slim) but I really wish I could be one of those women that rolls out of bed and shoves their luchious hair up in a topknot and doesn't look like she's a character in Bad Girls.

[herecomesthsun]

Oh and I think it is very funny that big eyebrows and big bottoms seem to have come into fashion courtesy of the Kardashians. I would have liked that as an option for "good looks" as a teen. I did try attacking the caterpillars with tweezers when younger but gave up out of sheer ennui, so now I have natural big brows, apparently a thing.

And people actually get bum implants?! Really! Mine is completely au naturel.

[HerRoyalNotness]

I have a large nose, one eye smaller than the other, a high forehead, fine hair, large bum; thighs and arse, a short waist (one vetebrae less than normal), bandy calves, hairy fingers and toes! In spite of all that, I've been told by a random in a wine bar I used to frequent, "you are gorgeous" (running joke now between a friend that was there, and I) and by an assistant in diesel when trying on tight jeans "you have the kind of figure guys love"

Beauty absolutely is in the eye of the beholder and we are all our own worst critics.

[QuimReaper]

Thank you Anna for the kick up the jacksie I am generally fairly content with how I look, and even used to be (sometimes still am) a little vain.

I think it's just the feeling that all of the "extremities" (teeth, nails, hair, skin) are "low quality" makes me feel a bit uneasy... Like it's all smoke and mirrors or something.

You're dead right about presentation though. When I am feeling grumpy I do get ( very unfairly) a bit annoyed that my mum was so dismissive of my own presentation, so it took me so much time and money to figure it out when I was old enough. I was clean and sensibly-dressed and well-fed and all that, which I know is more than some people can say; but for instance, when one orthodontist dismissively said "you don't need braces, I have people in here with teeth growing out of their nose, THAT'S what braces are for" she just bowed to his authority and flat-out refused to take me to another because she decreed "they'll all just say the same" Meanwhile dozens of my friends with more minor aesthetic concerns had standard-issue NHS train tracks. I'm not saying she should have trawled the country to find someone who'd treat me, but I was so unhappy with my teeth, I do wish she'd at least compromised and maybe helped me get just one more opinion. As it was I became more and more dissatisfied with my teeth, until by the time I was 24 or so I thought of it as an actual disfigurement (which I know it really wasn't) and shelled out upwards of 6K to get it corrected.

[QuimReaper]

Which is a long-winded way of saying you sound like a lovely mum

[AnnaMarlowe]

Thank you Quim. What a nice thing to say.

It's such a paradox. I teach my children that looks aren't important but of course how you look does feed in to how people react to you, whether that's fair or not.

But I want them to feel good about their own bodies as they grow and also to be kind and accepting of others.

So instead I talk to them about presentation rather than looks. You can't choose your basic physical appearance but you can choose your presentation.

You tell a story to people depending on how you present yourself, what's wonderful is that as you grow up you get to choose which story you most like to tell. So you might choose to be a goth, or a punk, to dress in 'New York black' or wear a rainbow.

The best stories always start with a smile and a confident air of course.

[notsocrazycatlady]

Glad I'm not the only one who feels like this! I am 33, and look about 15. Short, stick thin with no boobs whatsoever, (despite eating non stop), oily, blemished skin, hair that won't keep a style for more then ten seconds, USELESS at applying make up and putting my hair up, clothes never look right on me no matter what I wear...and to make things worse, I stutter and cannot pronounce even the most simple of words...I also have bad posture and wonky teeth. I do, however, have nice eyes :D

[QuimReaper]

Yes, that is so true!

My mum did do the "how you look doesn't matter, being nice, clever, well-rounded is more important" thing and was superb at all that stuff - really went overboard to give us amazing experiences and nurture any burgeoning skills / interests we displayed. Which I know is more important.

I think though, she took it a bit too far in being more or less dismissive about looks, as though it was a silly childish thing I would grow out of. I don't mind that so much with her never bothering with my hair or teaching me about make up or anything (especially since she doesn't bother with her own, and has never worn any, so couldn't really have!) but the teeth thing rankles because it is absolutely permanent, and could have been fixed quickly, easily and cheaply if it had been taken more seriously. There was a general sort of bourgeois disapproval of caring at all about how you looked beyond combing your hair. "Looking nice" in my house meant wearing an eye-wateringly colourful floor-length skirt, wearing a giant hat and doing a bizarre pose with a teapot.

[QuimReaper]

I suppose that is a "presentation" thing too really, but it was sort of the only presentation that was allowed. Wanting to look crisp and polished was somehow a bit shallow, whereas wanting to look ethereal or mad as a box of frogs unique was applauded, and bad teeth and flyaway hair added "character" or something.

[QuimReaper]

I feel like I'm on a shrink's couch on this thread, I should really step away

[LuciaInFurs]

Yes.

I'm 24 and built like a rugby player. I can't fit into normal women's clothes as my wrists can't fit through the arm holes. I've never had a coat that fits as my arms are too long and my shoulders are too broad so the coat stops closer to my elbows than my wrists. To top it off I have size 11 UK feet. UK shops don't make women's shoes that large.

I have two permanent large circles indented under my eyes so I have somewhat of a serial killer look about me and my lips are too big for my face.

I have a 36 inch waist, thighs double what they should be and hands bigger than my 6 foot 2 DH's.

I feel like Frankenstein's monster most days.

[notsocrazycatlady]

Glad I'm not the only one who feels like this! I am 33, and look about 15. Short, stick thin with no boobs whatsoever, (despite eating non stop), oily, blemished skin, hair that won't keep a style for more then ten seconds, USELESS at applying make up and putting my hair up, clothes never look right on me no matter what I wear...and to make things worse, I stutter and cannot pronounce even the most simple of words...I also have bad posture and wonky teeth. I do, however, have nice eyes