Page 5 | Crepes and Mulled Whine in your pants

hattymattie · 15/11/2013 11:46

Herbs - don't know what to advise but want to come and give him a hug, he seems such a sweetie. - why does he feel sad when you say he's good? Double hugs (from scary unknown woman).

DD1 has important uni interview in two weeks which she should be preparing for and said she was not going out at weekends and was going to sit and read law books! She took most unkindly when I pointed this out last night when she announced she was going to "hang" with her friends. I said priorities FFS. She says she's stressed. She has no idea.

I have been to the hairdressers and feel completely fabulous. If I was rich I'd have my hair blow dried every week as I can never ever achieve the same result.

herbaceous · 15/11/2013 11:52

He is just the sweetest boy on earth. Last night he said he didn't want to watch a DVD before bed, he just wanted to snuggle up with me on the settee. So that's what we did.

I don't want to push him into doing something he's uncomfortable with, but he loves doing 'shows' at home, and think that once he actually does the speaking in the play he'll be so thrilled with himself. Selfishly, I also want him to be picked for next year!

motherinferior · 15/11/2013 11:56

Herbs, just to say that DD1 was the shyest of shy things refusing to do anything acting-ish and then suddenly in Y5 stepped forward and did an audition and knocked everyone's socks off, took starring role in Y6 and is now a total drama queen (in more senses than one). DD2 is quite similar that way - even more so, in fact, going from weeping on my lap one Christmas to amazing us all with her performance as a dizzy blonde in last year's show (so unlike my little DM-clad stomper in daily life). So even if he doesn't go for it this year there is time for him to shine

beachyhead · 15/11/2013 12:07

Stropps, not sure on the chickens not laying, though as a general rule, the posher the chicken, the less it lays. So fancy breeds lay less than the bog standard hybrids..... Bit like schools, the more you pay, the less you get

My five weren't laying, but they are three years old, so I figured they were just taking a rest. Also thought I might shock them into laying by introducing four new girls. They aren't rescue, but from the local agricultural suppliers, where you say what you want, a big burly man goes into a shed and comes out with armfuls of birds and puts them in the back of your car....very eventful last weekend!

Herbs, I think the singing thing loudly might work a la Kings Speech.

Mine is a narrator in the Xmas play and has one line - god knows how many narrators there are!

wilbur · 15/11/2013 12:51

FWIW - my MIL's chickens (mix of posh and rescue) lay very little in the winter. She says they need longer hours of daylight and once it's dark, they stop producing.

bigTillyMint · 15/11/2013 12:52

Herbs if when he does it, you must video him and post on FB for all us sad F*kers whose own children are too old for school plays. They always bring a tear to my eye

herbaceous · 15/11/2013 12:58

I'm welling up thinking about it already. If he does do it, I'll be so proud, and if he doesn't, I'll feel so sorry for him. He managed his starring role as 'second reindeer' in the nursery play last year, so hopefully will get through it.

A career on the stage does beckon. He has the most remarkable capacity for remembering songs and words, has amazing pitch and busts some pretty crazy moves on the dance floor.

Stropperella · 15/11/2013 13:01

Last year of school play here, even though ds is only 8. He will be moving to middle school next year where they don't have time for such frivolities, apparently. He auditioned yesterday for a part. He had to learn a poem of his choice off by heart. I think he will hear today whether he has been at all successful.

ps: Herbs, I fear you might be mistaken: it's actually me that has the sweetest boy in the world - though not for all that much longer, I suspect...

herbaceous · 15/11/2013 13:14

< dons boxing gloves >

CointreauVersial · 15/11/2013 13:23

Profilic posting, ladies, I can't keep up.

Re: school plays - DD2 (who is loud and bolshy) is very peculiar about plays and suchlike. She is a perfectly confident performer as long as nobody looks at her. I am always under strict instructions to (a) sit at the back, (b) engage in no eye contact whatsoever, and (c) not comment/compliment/encourage in any way. I disobeyed these instructions once, while she was doing a Christmas Carol performance, and she stormed off the stage in tears. Last year, she deliberately positioned herself behind the piano, so I could just about see the top of her head. Strangely, she is always happy to take part.

DD1 has no qualms about performing, and doesn't care who's watching. She's currently mid-way through the school play (2 performances down, 3 to go). Although she memorably refused to go on stage in the Year 1 nativity, because her "trousers weren't right". DH was thrilled, having taken the day off.

bigTillyMint · 15/11/2013 15:20

DD was always totally embarrassed to be on stage when she was small (visions of her with her thumb in her mouth) despite being very bubbly and confident, although she did manage a lovely performance as a 30's style singer/dancer in her leavers show.
She would never dream of doing any production in secondary school, but she took drama as a GCSE

motherinferior · 15/11/2013 18:50

GAH.

DD1 is in a major strop. A real weeping despair of a strop because
(a) she has Homework to do and no idea when to do it because I have taken up a theatre ticket offer for tomorrow afternoon and we are seeing my parents on Sunday so obviously that leaves her no time at all
(b) I didn't consult her about the ticket (she is the one who wants to see more drama ffs, and I want to go!)
(c) I accidentally called her by her sister's name
(d) I never, ever, help her with her homework
(e) I am the only parent in the world who gets their children's names confused and obviously this is the worst act any parent can ever commit.

bigTillyMint · 15/11/2013 18:55

Normal teenage behaviour! Have a and tell her to calm down

Stropperella · 15/11/2013 19:03

Yup, I second BTM. Normal teenage behaviour. Unfortunately. I very rarely help with any homework - only occasionally with MFL, if I'm asked. But I have hardly ever been asked.

I regularly call ds by the dog's name. And vice versa.

QueenQueenie · 15/11/2013 19:08

Apologise profusely (even if you don't mean it). Have a large gin / glass of wine / cake / all three (according to choice). Ask her what she would like you to do to help. Tell her she doesn't have to come to theatre if she doesn't want toand go with a friend. When she's calmed down tell her not to be so stroppy and that the way to get people to help you isn't by shouting at them...

motherinferior · 15/11/2013 19:10

Have apologised, attempted to sort her homework into priorities, and will hit the gin when I've finished the editing.

bigTillyMint · 15/11/2013 20:06

Same here, Stropps - DD doesn't want any help, other than listening to her recite her CA's for MFL!
DS, on the other hand, is very needy on the homework front

Gin sounds good!

MrsSchadenfreude · 15/11/2013 20:26

DD1 went from a child who wouldn't make eye contact with anyone in circle time (lest she be asked to say anything!) in Yr 6 to confidently addressing a group of 400 lower and middle school parents on what she had been doing in the art department, complete with powerpoint presentation (my lower lip was wobbling) in Yr 8. She adores drama, and has a major part in the school play - the only Yr 10 who has - next week.

DD2, who is a complete extrovert, won't do anything on the stage at all unless she can be hidden in the chorus at the back, where no-one can see her and she doesn't have to say anything.

I just want to squish your sweet boy, Herbs, and I really don't like children.

I call mine Large Child and Slightly Less Large Child.

motherinferior · 15/11/2013 20:26

It's her homework, ffs. I already have two degrees. I don't need to do homework.

And I still haven't finished that report

MrsSchadenfreude · 15/11/2013 20:28

My excuse for not helping with homework is that I am Largely Uneducated. Unfortunately it doesn't work with French.

Original poster

Auriga · 15/11/2013 21:01

DD is used to being called by the dog's name. She especially hates it when we're walking along, she's in a daydream, and I shout 'DD!!' making her jump a foot in the air, when it's ddog who has done something unspeakable. DH then compounds the offence by ostentatiously counting her legs

My friend's Mum used to work through the list of her kids, so he swears he thought his name was Joseph-Rory-Patrick-Bridie-Michael till he was about 15.

My DM did the same, so the poor dog got called 'child1name child2name child3name child4name dogname' her whole life.

OP posts:

bigTillyMint · 15/11/2013 21:37

My DS and DH get called by each others names all the time by me. My excuse is that they are two peas in a pod!

wilbur · 15/11/2013 23:00

I had an entire conversation with dd yesterday, thinking she was ds2. In my defence, I was driving and looking at the road, not the child, and I had been swapping kids in and out of the car all day, and I forgot which one I had. She only sighed and grunted her responses, so how was I to know? We only twigged when I asked her if she was looking forward to her cross country tournament and she went as she doesn't do running.

Blackduck · 16/11/2013 07:23

I am not at this stage yet (caveat to what is to follow) one parent I know who is having the homework traumas offers to help once, and once only on the basis they will be the ones who get into trouble and this way they will learn..... (It appears to have worked thus far)

Blackduck · 16/11/2013 07:24

The second they being the child in case that's not clear! I think its a but in line with MIs I don't need to do homework - I have two degrees (do you? What in??). I guess I could just say I'm a Dr so flipping get in with it!