Dress code help needed for a very swish Hindu wedding please...

[shoppingbagsundereyes]

We are invited to 3 days' of celebrations. I haven't got a clue what to wear to each event. Dh thinks it's naff if I try to wear traditional Indian clothes so I need some ideas of what to wear. Also need some advice on what colours/ things to avoid. I know I shouldn't wear red but otherwise am unsure.
So event 1: an evening of dancing, mehendi and masti at a fancy restaurant in London. ( I've googled masti and can't work out what it is. Anyone know?)
Event 2: the actual wedding ceremony
Event 3: an evening reception at the Royal Opera House.

All our friends who are going are Indian so will be wearing saris etc so aren't much use on the suggestions front.

[Jagsy]

Hi there op.

Lots of good advice, especially re churidar suit. Check rupali online, decent prices. You will not need to cover head btw. I am Hindu and still find sari a faff so usually wear churidar suits or lengha. Maybe friends can lend you one? Hope you have a fab time, sounds v posh indeed!

[Nehru]

HAVE YOU BEEN SHOPPERS?

[shoppingbagsundereyes]

My mum turned up this morning with a battered cardboard box containing my grandma's rhinestone necklace circa 1956. Is perfect for with the black dress, there are matching earrings too. I'm going to search for a diamanté cuff now.

[MyFunDay]

So excited for you and so envious too. .

That black dress is great for the royal opera do. Don't go with understated jewellery, go for bling. Asian weddings are not known for understated. Everyone will be out in their finest, lots of heavily embroidered silk, chiffons, bright colours, lots of jewellery too. Perhaps you could have a gorgeously embroidered pashmina casually draped around your back and arms?

As for the actual wedding ceremony, I second you wearing a churidar. Maybe a friend could lend you a suitable one? Careful when you go shopping for one as there are a lot out there that are cheap looking and make sure that you get a wedding standard one.

Good luck and enjoy. Any chance you could sneak me in? Haven't been to an Indian wedding in ages.

[shoppingbagsundereyes]

sorry paali not pali

[shoppingbagsundereyes]

amrapali, thnak you, not too late, i think i will look for a churidar for the wedding day ceremony. My sister has a Hindu friend who lives locally so she's going to ask her if she'll come with me to choose one.

[ScienceRocks]

That dress is lovely. Pearls would also be lovely, but you may feel a bit dowdy if there is a lot of Indian evening wear around you. Why not buy some cheap but blingy jewellery and wear bright shoes and a bright handbag?

[Amrapaali]

Oops sorry, see that you've already made a purchase. Still, reference for any future weddings

[Amrapaali]

Wear a churidhar. Its so comfy, like a lovely tunic with leggings. But much, much, MUCH lovelier.Try this one

I would think twice about wearing a sari. If you are not used to it, it can be a nightmare, all the hoicking up, the pleats staying in place. No!! And I say that as someone coming from India

[shoppingbagsundereyes]

Thanks for all your help so far ladies. More required:
I've bought the phase eight black dress linked below. Am delighted with it so will wear it to the royal opera house do. But what jewellery?
I haven't got any expensive jewellery really ( a few very unbling and understated bits) sooo do I go diamanté and bling up that way and hope that the other guests don't think I'm trying to fake it? Or I'm wondering about pearls with the black? My mum has some beautiful real pearls and I have a lovely Tiffany pearl bracelet. Have no idea if pearls are currently in or out :)

[SerBrienne]

uk.monsoon.co.uk/view/product/uk_catalog/mon_11,mon_11.1/3533380810

This ticks all boxes imo

[Nehru]

Lol. I can just see bagsy in this
www.hennamehndi.co.uk/p/561/gold-chiffon-embroidered-outfit

[HintofBream]

aoife, there are some great outfits on your link. Just wish I had an excuse to buy one (or two).

[aoife24]

Something like this: www.hennamehndi.co.uk/p/571/green-chiffon-outfit-with-diamante-and-stone-embellishments

[aoife24]

What about a lovely shalwar kameez, much easier to pull off than saris which I think rarely look good on non-indian women. I don't know why, but I think mostly look like hijras when/if we wear them.

[Nehru]

The maxi is good IMO

[Nehru]

Aw!! Baggy. :(

[shoppingbagsundereyes]

Because I don't know the bride. I've asked the groom's sister in law who told me what she will be wearing rather than what I should wear. All our friends who will be at the wedding live in Kenya too so can't ask them to shop with me.
I know I felt I stuck out like a sore thumb at the Sikh wedding - was the only white woman out of 400 people and the only person not in Indian dress. I think I will actually feel better in clothes that blend in iyswim even if they are different for me.
I've ordered this phase eight dress for the royal opera house thing. If I don't look dumpy and lumpy I think it'll be perfect.
www.johnlewis.com/phase-eight-samantha-maxi-dress-black/p447463

[Nehru]

my H says : tell her to ask the bride"

why havent we said this?!!

[ScienceRocks]

You are very unlikely to have to sit on the floor at a Hindu wedding. Covering heads is usually only mandatory for those involved in the ceremony, so I wouldn't worry about that too much either.

For the evening thing, wear something brightly coloured. A dress is fine.

For the wedding, a lengha is a great idea. Again, bright and colourful is the way to go. Jewellery is a must. Don't wear a trouser suit, you will feel dowdy! Do not wear red, it is considered bad form in the same way that wearing white to a church wedding is. If you don't fancy Indian garb, a bright dress would work. Something very fitted might make you feel self conscious when there, so go for something with a bit of movement.

For the evening reception, you could wear black, as long as you wear some impressive jewellery to go with it. White is the Hindu colour of mourning, not black, so black is fine for evening dos but it needs to be embellished in some way.

Have a great time!

[dizzy77]

Funny I've just had pictures of the Sikh wedding I went to a few years ago flip up on the photo frame. It is huge fun getting dressed up ad also a minefield: a Hindu friend gave me a sari and dressed me in it but when i arrived at the house of the Sikh friend I was going with her mother was very unimpressed with the way it was tied (said it was in the style of my Hindu friend's region) and redressed me!

My inexpert two pence is to agree you can't have too much colour/bling. This includes make up. Think Mac counter veering to drag queen. I prefer a lazy natural look and ended up with purely and gold eyeshadow to match my sari.

If I went again, I would swallow my fear and go, with appropriate support, to an Indian outfitters to get a shalwar kameez(sp?) tunic & trouser suit made - I'm told its similar pricing to a Coast dress.

[Nehru]

I'm laughing at the thought of op buying Indian clothes.

Ha ha.
We're mates. This is way out of her comfort zone.
Like a bloke in a bra shop.

[redandyellowbits]

I agree, you should wear Indian clothes, it is always much appreciated at Indian weddings when guests do this.

Also - you don't have to cover your head at a Hindu wedding.

Don't wear a sari as they can be fiddly, but a suit would be great Ealing Road in Wembley is another great place for Indian clothes shopping (and lunching!).

[VioletGoesVintage]

Nope, definitely not patronising. If anything, at least at some weddings, the opposite would be true. Some people, aka one slice of my in-laws, would raise eyebrows at people who didn't wear Asian dress. Not saying they should be pandered to, btw (and I don't always....), just putting it out there!

Maxi dress would be fine but you'd have to keep your shoulders covered and, depending on how traditional the hosts are, maybe your arms too.

[Nehru]

I would do maxi dress
I fear.