how can I make myself look/feel better?

[ariane5]

I have had a really tough few weeks and I realised today how awful I look (and feel).

I really want to feel better and need some quick and easy tips.

I have 4 dcs so time is limited. I am exhausted and my diet has been rubbish lately and I rely heavily on tea/coffee/chocolate to keep going.

I am starting to get spots and dry skin.I look tired too-big dark circles round my eyes.

Ideally I want my skin to improve and to just look more 'polished'.I always wear the same clothes-leggings,long top and cardi and have no idea what would suit me.

Any tips very welcome

[Hopefully]

When I'm trying to cut down on sugar (which I sometimes do as left unchecked my sweet tooth is ridiculous) I make sure I am never hungry for about 4-5 days, so lots of rough oatcakes and butter, fruit, cheese and apple (fat and protein in cheese is filling, apple is a mini mini sugar hit, yoghurt with frozen berries (and no added honey or sugar). I just eat about every 2 hours or so, and never let myself get even terribly peckish. It seems to stop my sugar cravings being unmanageable while I get over the cold turkey bit. Once I'm over cold turkey I eat a bit less.

Eating too much sugar is self perpetuating, the more you eat the more knackered you get and the more you need to eat next time.

[Roopoo]

Ponds face cream. I keep mine in the fridge! Nothing feels nicer than cold cream after a long day.
Foundation and lipstick in a bright colour.

Lots of water

[Sonotkylie]

Berocca is a good for perking you up really fast. Supposed to be all vitamins but I don't believe it. Works wonders for me when I'm low on sleep or post flu. Turns your wee bright orange/ yellow, which can be an entertaining diversion mid morning. And i get it from the supermarket without having to think about it too hard.
Lots of other lovely advice. Take some and be very kind to yourself.

[ariane5]

Yes I do often eat a banana but more often than not I eat biscuits/cake/chocolate. DH keeps saying its not normal to eat this much sugar he keeps telling me to cut down and I know he's right.

I've tried really hard today-went for a walk with dcs in the double buggy, have drunk lots of water and have had less sugary snacks (but I did have a huge bit of cake this aft I was starving after walk).Lunch was healthy though I actually had a whole chicken+salad sandwich on seedy bread with a side salad and a yogurt. Usually I have a bowl of salad and chocolate with a cup of tea

Gp appt next week about thyroid just in case.

I have also got on a bit of bb cream and mascara.I still look knackered but feeling better for making a start!

[MrsPennyapple]

Oops, bold fail.

[MrsPennyapple]

*Dh is disgusted by the amount of sugary food I eat, I know its wrong but its quick and keeps me going

I do eat quite a bit of salad/veg too but seem to be 'topping up' with tea/coffee and rubbish most of time.I just feel hungry and tired every min of every day. *

Read this back to yourself, OP. It's NOT keeping you going! Someone upthread mentioned porridge, which is brilliant for filling you up. It's very quick and easy to make yourself, but if you feel you are that short of time, those Oats So Simple packets are very handy. Even a flapjack (which is probably more sugary than is ideal) would give you more energy than a chocolate bar. Do you like bananas? They are very good for a quick burst of energy if you need a pick-me-up.

Oh, and ignore your DH and his disgust. If he's that bothered, get him to make you some porridge!

[ariane5]

I hadn't even thought of that-and I should have as after dd2 I had an overactive thyroid for a bit but it got better by itself when she was 13mths old.

Might have to make an appt and get it checked.can't believe I didn't think of that (shows how tired I am I can't even remember things I should)

[Idlegirl83]

Hi Ariane, just wondered if you've had your thyroid checked? It was the line 'hungry and tired every min of every day' that sounded exactly how I felt before being diagnosed with a very underactive thyroid.
Worth getting it checked :)

[LittlePandaBear]

On the boob front, have a read of this thread as there is a bra guru Sorrell forbes who knows her stuff - it's a long thread but you should get some idea on it of how to ensure your bra fits!

By your measurements, you're in between a 30 and a 32, 30 will feel tight but worth a go with the right cup size. Try a 30FF or maybe 32F as a starting point. Each brand is different though, I find Debenhams Gorgeous range small in the back.

Loads of other good confidence building advice here too - hope some of it makes you feel better

[higgle]

You need to get some sleep to recharge your batteries. I'd also suggest either booking some yoga classes or doing some yoga stretches at home and looking at meditation to ensure you build calm into your life. Healthy eating does make you feel better and lots of moisturising. If you add all the beauty tips on top of this you will soon feel fine and lok georgeous. P.S. in all the make over programmes they save the hairdressers trip to the end because that makes most difference.

[GingernutButter]

Eat more eggs. They're so quick (scrambled in the microwave for a sandwich--takes less than a minute) and really are superfoods.

Do you have a Wii Fit? (Just a guess, judging by number of kids!). I find a bit of Wii Fit in the evening as the easiest way to get a bit of exercise in if you're dogged by kids in the day. Persevere--it WILL make you feel better. I like the jogging game.

I also second the rec for a BB cream. Rimmel's has great coverage, is cheap, and takes a minute to put on with your fingers. Pat on to cheeks, nose, chin, forehead and under eyes, then use fingertips to stroke and blend. I like to wear it in the day with mascara, and either a Clinique chubby stick balm or a Boots 17 Mirror Shine lipstick. (Burberry Lip Mist is gorgeous and natural if you fancy a treat).

If you're struggling with not being toned, body shaper tights are a massive help. Sounds like you have lovely long legstry on a few skirts (from charity shops if you're pushed for time and budgetfor a few quid, you can afford to experiment) with tights and boots or ballet pumps. Morrisons body shaper tights don't have the long thigh shaper bits on, so are better for slightly shorter skirts.

[ariane5]

I have measured myself-31 in under bust and 39 in round bust.I have been wearing 34dd is that right or not? I have no idea how bra sizing works??

I have actually got a bb cream (just never find time to put it on and I've had it for 2 weeks!) Ds2 is asleep and dd2 playing so I might quickly try and put some on and bit of mascara and see if I look any better

[gracelesslady]

My top tips would be: multivitamin (I use a boots own brand one with everything but the kitchen sink in it and it has a probiotic too. Took it while breastfeeding all of mine. Not specifically made for breastfeeding mums but has 100% of everything you need so can't do you any harm)

Essential fatty acids, I use boots flaxseed oil cos I'm veggie. Really important for your skin and your mood. I just need to take my own advice and remember to take them....

Exercise: running or walking with buggy or 30 day shred or going out to a class if that's possible. Easy, achievable stuff.

Plenty of protein. I slip into periods of surviving on coffee and toast and then wonder why I look and feel like shit!!

Lots of water. It really does make you feel a million times better.

Then the final vital touches: bb cream, lots of black mascara and lip gloss.

...rushes off to take all own advice....

Xx

[MavisGrind]

Get yourself measured for a new bra. I'm similar proportions to you (although 2 less dcs!) and went from wearing a 36D to a 32FF and the difference is amazing.

Have that as a starter and the rest won't seem as dauting as your figure will be halfway there!

[LittlePandaBear]

If the cup size seems ok if a 34DD then try a 30F or 30FF...

[ariane5]

I've wondered for a while if I was wearing wrong bra size as it seems loose and has to be done up really tight.I tried a 34d but cups were too small so it must be the back size.

[LittlePandaBear]

And please don't be so hard on yourself, you've had 4 children, you're allowed to have saggy bits! I have plenty of saggy bits and have just one child!

It sounds like you could really benefit from some time to yourself, which is probably rare. Would you be able to take a morning to yourself and go to the shops, perhaps a personal shopper in a department store could help you to try a few things that you wouldn't pick up yourself (if finances allow). Or a stylish friend you admire could help you pick a few new things?

[LittlePandaBear]

Just a suggestion if you're looking for underwear as well as clothes - it's likely that you could go down a couple of back band sizes if you're wearing clothes size 8-10 and have a 34 back band. There are tons of useful threads on here which talk about boobs and bras and it's really interesting! I'm a size 10-12 but wear a 30 or 32 back band for example!

Ideally you could get fitted at somewhere like Bravissimo or John Lewis (not M&S!) but if difficult you could measure under your bust and over at home, and then order some samples to try. If you post your measurements here someone will be able to guide you on what size to try. It could improve your posture and confidence if you wear the right size!

[ariane5]

It may sound like a good figure but it isn't!!

Iam gangly and awkward looking-all arms+legs! I am also so unfit/untoned its dreadful Iam just saggy and COVERED in stretchmarks.I actually have been considering shapewear just to make me look toned as I am like jelly.

I think I might invest in a couple of scarves as an easy way to update/brighten my look a bit as it won't feel like a massive change.

[midnightinmoscow]

Have you tried some porridge for breakfast? I find it really, really holds me.

Also I was wake up craving sugar a lot, when I have eaten chocolate late the night before.

You sound like you have a fabulous figure by the way, 5' 10 and 9.5 stone. Am very envious!! Have you had a look at the 40 bum blog? She is tall too, so you might get some ideas from her.

[ariane5]

Iam quite pale but have brown eyes, really dark eyebrows for some reason and mousy hair (was blonde as a child but it went dull and mousy ), hair v long, had a trim 2 weeks ago but I never really wear it down. Too scared to cut it all off as its always been long!

I an 5 10 tall, about 9.5 stone but very untoned. I usually wear a size8-10 but I have oddly wide hips and 34dd chest that makes clothes hang wrong or stretch over hips but I can't then go up a size as they then look too big so I've been sticking to leggings and stretchy stuff.

I feel self conscious and gangly I almost want to just blend in to the background sometimes, I know I need to make an effort but its so difficult.

Going to try really hard to stop the sugary snacks/drinks but I'm struggling already-had breakfast (a banana and yogurt) but I'm starving-around now I'd probably have cake/biscuits and cup of tea.

[clarkykitten]

Aw, I remember when my DD was feeding a lot at that age I started to feel really drained. The tea/coffee habit is a really hard one to break, but so worth it as it'll make you feel much better. What's your colouring? I'm not sure about which 'season' I am but I generally tend to buy cheapie long sleeved tops from places like Tescos (am on mega budget!) and then try and brighten them up with scarves - places like primark are good for scarves. I am pale with dark hair and blue eyes, and I find that getting some jewel like colours e.g. teal, raspberry, seem to brighten my face.

[ohfunnyhoneyface]

Yes yes to cutting out chocolate- water is great- hot water with lemon and honey if you crave tea, water and sliced cucumber if you fancy a nice cold drink.

With clothes, make gradual changes- what shape/size are you? Can you dig out any nice accessories you've bought but not used? Change handbags?

Hair wise- when did you last have a trim? Do you deep condition once a week? Maybe switch products and experiment with slightly different styles?

Good luck!

[ariane5]

Dh is disgusted by the amount of sugary food I eat, I know its wrong but its quick and keeps me going

I do eat quite a bit of salad/veg too but seem to be 'topping up' with tea/coffee and rubbish most of time.I just feel hungry and tired every min of every day.

[ariane5]

I'm not sure if boots do a bf vitamin, I have the pregnacare one but forget to take it and really I need to remember as ds2 is 10 months and still has a lot of bf during day (and night)! I think that's another reason iam so drained-however much I eat I can't keep up with the amount of milk he's taking!

I have some skinny jeans (somewhere in back of wardrobe I think) but really need tops. Shopping is difficult with dcs though so I might have a look online.