Tummy tuck question for those who've had one

[itdidntworkout]

I plan on getting one at the end of the year. My husband can take time off over Christmas to help with the children and the bank holidays will give me a few extra days recovery.

Realistically, how long will I be out of action? I expect to be in bed for two days and bending over for a while, but after 10 days or so, will I be okay to carry on close to normal? I need to be able to do the school in January and be able to hold a sports bag. I think I've read that it can take 6 weeks + to get back to normal activities, but for school runs and helping kids into and out of the car, will I be okay?

I can't have the op during the school term and I won't have anyone to help out.

Thanks.

[SeratoninIsMyFriend]

Am two weeks into recovery after my abdominoplasty. I am calling it that and not a tummy tuck because like a few posters above I had severe diastasis recti, separation of my abdominal muscles. They were too far apart to mend with exercise after my 2nd DC, though after Dc1 I managed to get them pretty closed. My bowels protruded through the gap which was 3.5 fingers wide around my belly button. I am slim but had a huge misshapen lump stuck on my belly which affected clothes I wore. My back had all sorts of problems as it had to do all the work supporting me. I developed a hernia. For this reason the NHS recommended surgery, and agreed to the full abdominoplasty, sewing the muscles back together from sternum to pubis, as well as getting rid of the excess skin.

I appreciate the feminist viewpoint and share it to some degree, ditto the risks of surgery. However you cannot assume that we all want washboard tummies and just to look good. Please don't judge.

Anyway, I have had no complications but was in hospital for 4 days (they said 2), could not stand straight until a couple of days ago, and my back has been killing from working overtime to support me hunched over. I cannot walk far and if I do a bit of activity and think 'ooh getting normal' I usually am knackered later. I have partially lifted 10m old Ds and feel I shouldn't. I wouldn't want to drive yet as my abs are still very sore and out of use. I was on my feet the next day and have been on only paracetamol since day 3. However I know someone else who was in hospital much longer.

Fwiw, yes my tummy looks flat but I never had a washboard tummy and there is a vertical scar as my skin was so stretched he couldn't pull it down without leaving it saggy, and where it joins it's still elephant skin! Whether or not I ever wear a bikini was never the point but if I do I won't be ashamed of the scars I bear... They do not cause the same stress and discomfort as the bulge. And if people think I've had a quick nip/tuck they can bugger off: none of it's a walk in the park and they perhaps have not lived with such a destroyed body.

Last but not least there is a Facebook page for sufferers of DR if anyone is interested in a source of support!

[GemmaPomPom]

Women being hugely judgmental towards other women. Not my idea of feminism.

Yes, I agree with this. Surely as a feminist you should support a woman's right to do whatever she pleases with her body? I am having vaginoplasty in a few months' time. It has ruffled a few feathers in my feminist circle. They just don't seem to grasp that I am doing this for me, not for a man.

[Itdidntworkout]

Charlearose, thanks for your input. I am also contemplating a little lipo on my inner thighs, but was wondering if I should have it done at a later date.

For those who've had a TT, did you have any lipo around the hip area? I've seen some photos where they've had a TT and been left with two large areas of fat around the hips where the skin has been pulled down. Any ideas?

[Krumbum]

If something is causing you pain then that is a medical problem and a doctor can reccommend the best treatment, that is not the same as having cosmetic surgery.
Gemma we live in a patriarchal society and are constantly bombarded with messages that women are expected to act and look in a certain way. Yes feminism is about freedom but in this society we do not have that freedom, being made to have crippling body hatred which then causes you to surgically alter yourself is not a freedom. It's a product of the lack of freedom women have to look and act how they want. If this were happening in an equal society I would say 'your choice' but I very much doubt that your vaginalplasty is 'for you'. And that if we lived in a fair and equal society you would not feel the need to do this to yourself.

[midori1999]

A tummy tuck usually always includes lipo to the waist/tummy area and that would include any area near the scar/above the hip bones and can include the lower back too.

You can have other areas done too, I had my outer thigh/'saddlebags' lipo'ed at the same time as my tummy tuck. Lipo is a pretty major surgery in itself and one of the riskiest. This can be related to the amount of fat removed, so most surgeons have a limit of 3L of fat being removed during any one surgeru, although I have heard of ladies having more. I'm sure you know anyway, but lipo is more to change the shape of areas than remove large volumes of fat.

It's also important to remember that you are unlikely (very) to get a 'perfect' result. Any good surgeon will discuss what result you can hope to achieve, but for most women this is an improvement on what they currently have and there will always be slight imperfections still.

[Itdidntworkout]

Midori, I didnt know that most TTs had lipo to waist/ tummy area. I'm now quite slim there, just loose skin that needs tightening. Will have a look at 'make me heal' to see other people's results.

[midori1999]

Krum, my doctor did recommend the best treatment. I could have had my surgery on the NHS due to the seperation I had in my stomach muscles, I chose not to. However, I won't deny there was a huge cosmetic element for me and it was something I had contemplated for years. It was the fact my back was causing me problems that was the deciding factor.

As for 'crippling body hatred', that's something I have never had. That's probably why I am now happy to walk round with wonky looking breasts due to the problems I am having with them. It might suprise you to know that I'm really not that bothered by my appearance. Still, you seem to think you know more about me than I do....

[Krumbum]

Why did you have a boob job then?

[midori1999]

I've had two boobs jobs actually. Both times because I fancied bigger boobs. I was never unhappy with my boobs in the first place though, they were great in fact! After the surgery they were still great, but bigger. Now they're bigger still but lately not so great, but in the scheme of things it's not that important. My boobs are part of how I look, not who I am and liek I said on the other thread, they are still capable of feeding my baby, which is what they are meant for, after all.

I probably did go into my first surgery without giving it enough though if i am honest and there's also probably some truth in that once you've had one surgery, it doesn't seem like a such a big deal. The risks of most cosmetic surgery in a healthy person are pretty low.

Breast implants are pretty low risk, a tummy tuck isn't so low risk, which is probably why I needed more than just cosmetic reasons to go ahead.

[ujjayi]

I didn't have lipo with my tummy tuck. I didn't need or want it.

My TT was also recommended by GP and osteopath in order to sort out my back and intestinal hernia. I chose to go private.

I don't relate to anything you say about self-hatred, Krum. Whilst body dismorphia is a very real issue in our society you cannot assume that every woman undergoing this kind of surgery suffers from it. It is at best naive and at worst judgmental and bitchy frankly, that you presume to know more about us than we do.

[DonaAna]

I also have DR, my OBGYN recommended TT, but still trying to cope and close it with exercise (hope it can be done) as it is relatively narrow and uncomplicated.

Giving birth to babies causes all kinds of health complications to the mother - from the old adage "lose a tooth for each child" (when calcium supplementation was not available) to extremely uncomfortable things like urinary or rectal incontincence and gynecological prolapses. Surely nobody is against fixing them? I think a much bigger problem is that many women are too ashamed to seek help for these problems - even when effective help is available.

[AlpinePony]

Oh I did hate my body, when you lose 8 stone your body doesn't "ping back" to Heidi Klum-esque proportions! I was single and thought no man would ever want to be with me if he were to see me naked... the irony of course being that the first time my husband saw me naked was when I had 89 metal staples across my abdomen following surgery. When I was fat my skin was filled, when I lost the weight I looked like a bunch of screwed up Tesco carrier bags. You can bang on about wimmin's rights and loving your body as much as you like - but I bet you wouldn't want a body like that!

I didn't have lipo, but wish I had on my pudenda. Sometimes I toy with the idea of getting the lipo - but my experience of "plastics" was so horrific I don't feel I can do it again.

[valiumredhead]

krum speaks sense.

[AThingInYourLife]

"women are supposed to carry a bit of a weight around that area"

A post-CS tummy isn't carrying "a bit of extra weight", it is having a permanent flabby pregnancy bump, and if you have muscle separation (as I have) you have no core strength and your lower back can be affected.

[midori1999]

AlpinePony, losing 8st is fantastic! I know someone who lost 10st and then had a tummy tuck, along with thigh, arm, buttock and breast lifts. An awful lot of surgery and although primarily for cosmetic purposes, she did have problems with infections in skin folds, which caused her constant discomfort. She was only in her mid twenties too.

I have to say, I wonder if any of the naysayers are walking round with such a huge amount of empty skin or if they would be happy to? In that situation I would absolutely have the surgery for purely cosmetic reasons, although there must be practical reasons too.

[DunkyWhorey]

I love your posts on AIBU and feminism generally Krum, I really do but I feel Style and Beauty, to a certain extent, should be able to talk "style and beauty" without it turning into a feminism debate.

You make valid points and this complete body/looks indifference is truly something to aspire to. At 23 or whatever you are (if I recall correctly) I'm not sure you even comprehend (without meaning to sound too patronising) the true impact of various factors upon yourself and how it can make you feel. I'm sure if things were to happen to you you'd accept them with good grace and you have a good strong founding in brushing it off, fair play to you. But we have all been through such different things. Sometimes we can't just brush aside things that may well be conditioning from the patriarchial society...we may realise on an academic level that its that causing our discontent, but when it comes to just living our life, we can't disregard it. You have just one life. We might not be able to overcome these obstacles in just one or two generations. It might be another 200 years before we can get our bellies that look like the scrotum of an 80 year old man out and wear them with pride. Does your belly look like an 80 year old man's scrotum? Didnt think so.

Obviously you are entitled to post wherever you like, and whatever you like. Whilst you are not wrong to do so, it leaves no safe haven for women considering all the pros and cons and informed consent of having elective surgery anywhere to go and discuss those factors if the topic is changed to that of feminism.

Its about as popular as going into breastfeeding topic and saying "serously, girls, don't be tied down with a baby hanging off your tit...whats wrong with a bit of formula?" or going on to TTC and saying "you are mad, its not all its cracked up to be, stay child free for gods sake"...

If you are not into changing your apperance, or making the "best" of yourself aesthetically in a cosmetic sense or learning to disguise grey hairs either because you don't like them (or probably because you don't have them) or because the patriarchy has brainwashed you, that's cool, it really is - its really great. But perhaps Style and Beauty isn't the place for you.

[Krumbum]

I think style and beauty can be fun and that's why I post on it but when somebody is considering mutilating themselves that's very different. I do think plastic surgery has been completely normalised nowadays so that nobody really condsiders it a bad thing. And if your going to go through such a serious optional operation then maybe hearing the real pros and cons can give you a more informed choice.
I'm not saying it's easy to brush off the feelings of inadequacy that patriarchy makes us feel but maybe try doing other, more positive things first and seeing if that helps. Raising confidence through our minds not our bodies. Surgery isn't the quick fix either, research shows that people continue to be unhappy with their bodies. There should be opportunity forcounselling first. Rather that than giving thousands over to private surgeons who are profiting on women's poor self image.

[valiumredhead]

Again I agree with krum

[valiumredhead]

Oh and in answer to the OP - expect to need a LOT of help for a month and anything less is a bonus.

[ujjayi]

Krum I totally agree with you that plastic surgery has become normalised nowadays. I think there are many people who do not consider the full impact that surgery may have on their lives. They treat it like going shopping for a dress: Oh I want bigger boobs this week, well why not?!

However, in this case (and in many other cases), I think it was clear that the OP had given a great deal of consideration and was continuing to do so in light of the fact that she came on here asking for advice and the benefit of others' experience in terms of recovery etc.

I also agree that there are unscrupulous surgeons who profit from women & men's insecurities and openly do so by offering these "2 for 1" type discounts etc. Many clinics do not even offer initial appointments with a surgeon but rather a sales team. These places concern me greatly. My experience was very different. My surgeon insisted that I took a great deal of time to consider the pros and cons, he wanted to be certain that I had done all I could to fix the muscle separation myself (through exercise etc) and he was not prepared to operate on anyone looking for either a quick fix or with even a remote whiff of body dysmorphia about them. I had several lengthy consultations - including a psych consult - even though my reason for wanting the op was primarily a physical need to relieve the back pain and hernia.

[EmptyCrispPackets]

And if your going to go through such a serious optional operation then maybe hearing the real pros and cons can give you a more informed choice






And if a woman still wants to go through with it then what would you say? I don't think any amount of counselling would have stopped me having a TT. I had severe rectus diastasis, and after months of physio and self help techniques my GP suggested surgery was our next option. I didn't want to wait for the operation on the NHS so opted private. It was classed as a mini TT as I didn't have much loose skin to remove. I also had a hernia as a result of pregnancy.


Quite frankly I find your statement mutilating yourself very offensive, and patronising.

[noddyholder]

I have no problem from a feminist POV but it is a high risk op and I have seen it end badly for a friend so it is something to really think about esp if you have children