Dsd is 15, shared care 50/50. I don't feel AIBU but dh and I cannot agree on this topic.
Dsd has a doll she plays with, she likes to play in the dining room because apparently the table is the right height. I have no issue with the doll my issue is this.
She opens dining room door shuts herself in, closes the shutters, moves the table and gets on with whatever. Finishes playing gets up and leaves. Leaving the chair out, table still moved (closer to plug for her phone charger) shutters still closed, doll on the table door wide open.
Every time she has to be asked to tidy up and put things back the way she found them. Every. Single. Time.
I am the one who clears it up when she's gone to school having left it and left it until I can't any longer. I sent her and dh a text saying I was unhappy with having to constantly tidy up after her and in future she needs to do it herself. My text was ignored.
So I've said to dh that from now on if she wants to play she does it in her bedroom because I am fed up of either asking her to clear up or doing it once she's gone. He thinks I'm being unreasonable because in his words 'it takes 5 seconds to pick up a doll'
I've asked him for a compromise but he can't give me one thinks we should just keep asking her to clear up after her. I am so fed up! So AIBU?
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AIBU?
QueenOfIce · 11/04/2019 22:59
It’s only a doll, and a bit of tidying furniture which will get pushed back into place when you all eat. Does it really matter?
She’s a teenager. She’s not doing anything dangerous, illegal, noisy or majorly messy. My brother used to change bike tyres on the dining room floor using dm’s cutlery as tyre levers 
.
Do you have children of your own? They make mess. They just do.
Tidy the doll away somewhere so that she can't find it next time. She will soon learn to put it away somewhere safe herself. Put a wastebasket in the room for her sweetwrappers. Keep asking her nicely to tidy up. Go and get her to tidy up as she finishes instead of doing it yourself later. Thank her for doing so and tell her it's helpful.
Agreed. If I left wrapped out my mum would put them in my bed.
Around the age I left my laptop out one too many times. She hid it for a week. I soon learned to put it away.
You’re not your DSD’s maid!
If you don’t want to hide the doll/put wrapped in her bed, is there something you do for your DSD/DH that you could stop doing when she doesn’t tidy away after herself? I’m thinking along the lines of cooking dinner/making breakfast/giving lifts.
I’d say:
“If you don’t tidy up after yourself they I won’t be able to give you a lift/make breakfast/wash your clothes. Relationships are a 2-way street and when you leave the mess it makes me feel like you don’t respect me.”
Maybe when it starts inconveniencing them they’ll do something about it.
I’d still go with hiding the doll though more of a natural consequence. Although I guess it would only work if DH is onside. Otherwise he’ll probably just go on at you until you tell him where it is.
Can someone tell me what SN means , google says a science chemical 
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