Would you tell them

[ladybug92]

DH has been unemployed for a year, MH issues prevailing mainly. We haven't told anyone and continued same maintenance for his 2 DSDs (£500/ month)but coming from my wage. We can continue to pay it, we just have to go without a fair bit (car, any luxuries, tight food budget etc)
I think we should continue paying but I am wondering if we should say something regardless. DSDs (17,12) are always complaining how we dont go out to eat and do cheap fun things when we are together, I'd love to treat them but we just cant. They ask why we cant as we are 2 income family and laugh at how tight we are with our wallets. I feel awful.

My DH doesn't want to tell them as he is embarrassed. I feel sad that the bare minimum CM from before is all we can afford and no one knows the full picture.

What do I do? DH unlikley to find job soon and wont be earning anything like he was previously for years so do I just continue to help him or ask him to speak to ex?

Thanks.

Hi all, just wanted to post back and let you know that I talked to my husband who agreeded tohew speak to his ex, ask her opinion on telling the girls about his illness and unemployment. She was so supportive and understanding and suggested he share with both girls so he'll do that when we see them for Christmas. He will continue to pay a lesser amount but still substantial CS from savings/with my help.

Thanks for all your support and advice. My husband has seen through is ex's reaction that it's nothing to be ashamed of. I feel like so much weight has been lifted and we arent hiding from everyone anymore. Now we can focus that energy on him getting better.

That's nice to hear

Thanks @Battleax x

I was about 12 when my dad's business folded. We were struggling for money, but not destitute. I was informed that we'd have to tighten our belts but that the house wasn't at risk and we'd still get Christmas and birthday presents etc and basically, not to worry too much but also not to hassle them for nice things (day's out etc).

I think it was a sensible approach.