I have a 13yo ds from a previous relationship. He lives with me and my dh and his half-siblings from me and dh. Ds dad and I split when ds was 2yrs old, it was messy and he was threatening and abusive at times.
I met now dh and he has been a part of ds's life and fulfilled a step parenting role since ds was 3yo. Ex has remarried and had 2 further ds and is not a great dad to his first ds. He lives 45mins away and yet hasn't established a regular routine of seeing him. Last time his dad offered to have him overnight around his 13th bday, ds declined because he would have to share a bed with one of his younger brothers which he found uncomfortable. His dad then forgot to call on his bday. Recently, ds has started voicing jealousy towards his half brothers by his dad as his dad makes little effort with him and he feels a disparity. Ds has joined fb (sigh) and is faced with posts and posts from his dad and stepmum, photos of them and their 2 ds captioned 'love my family' etc. Not malicious, just a bit thoughtless I feel. They've all gone on a family holiday (despite ex pleading poverty about visiting ds saying no money for petrol) and he's finding the photos hard to deal with. He has just told me he has blocked his dad and stepmum on fb and I'm waiting for the fall out to happen.
In anticipation of this, and so I know what is reasonable or not, do most step families take non-resident dc on their hols? And how do I allow my ds's feelings about not being treated as a 'proper' son by his dad to be validated and addressed without causing a massive fall out that I want to shield him from?
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Step-parenting
What is the general view on family holidays?
8 replies
Clafoutis · 06/10/2017 19:38
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