Tell me what you LIKE about being a Step Parent?

[WashingMatilda]

The more help I reach out for the more negative and downtrodden stories I seem to read! All we seem to hear about is the turmoil, the resentment, the guilt, the 'I wouldn't do it if I had my time again'

Can you tell me your nice stories please? What do you like about being a stepparent?

[LucyLugosi]

I love watching what a great dad DP is.
I love the new things I'm able to show them and how DP says I enrich their lives. I love showing them things and explaining things.
I love seeing things from their perspectives, so exciting.
Outings, day trips (usually not perfect but I mostly remember the fun parts and not the arguments!)
Reading together and film nights, sitting round and playing cards...
It all sounds pretty idyllic - I'd say it's 50% me thinking I can't do it anymore and 50% stupidly happy!

[bluebell9]

When my DSD tells me she loves me and want to come and live with her Daddy and I when she's older.
When DSS gets excited about helping me cook and how proud he is of what he makes.
When they get excited hearing me come home from work and run to give me cuddles.
When I see how much DP and DSC love each other and feel proud to be included in their little family.
There are lots of things I love about being a SM. Its tough at times but the good times with the DSC outweigh the bad.

[bluebell9]

When my DSD tells me she loves me and want to come and live with her Daddy and I when she's older.
When DSS gets excited about helping me cook and how proud he is of what he makes.
When they get excited hearing me come home from work and run to give me cuddles.
When I see how much DP and DSC love each other and feel proud to be included in their little family.
There are lots of things I love about being a SM. Its tough at times but the good times with the DSC outweigh the bad.

[strugglingstepdad]

Absolutely everything. The ups, the downs, the normal day to day dross! The looks on their faces when they get presents, when they see us at an awards night, when they couldn't wait for me to get up on me birthday so they could give me presents.

Of all the complaining we do, I think sometimes we miss that the good times often outweigh the bad!

[steppinstone]

Absolutely nothing. We did have a nice day in the summer when we all went to the park and no big drama happened. I did practice my mindfulness so I would at least remember that...

I'm glad others have happier days more often. x

[Whyarealltheusernamestaken]

Easy answer, I love my SD, I love how she makes my laugh and how spending time with her is fun. It's been tricky over the years but I wouldn't be without her

[pinkbouqet]

Nothing.

[LemonSqueezy0]

Doesn't that make up for a multiple of ills Libby - the unexpected, but very timely hug, and "love you!" mine races to the door to see me get in from work and honestly cherishes the time spent with me as much as with his dad. It's been hard work, but sometimes it is what you make it

[Chimpfield]

Unfortunately absolutely nothing. So pleased it is working out for you all though.

[Libby34]

My DSD is only 3. She told my OH last week that I am her best friend which was incredibly heart warming . I spend a lot of one on one time with her, including activities her dad is useless at, such as arts and crafts etc. I liked the part where I decorated her room, I liked seeing her face when she saw her room. I like shopping for her birthday & Christmas presents, I like the days out we have all together. I like that despite me and OH not having children together yet we already have a little family set up. The bed time routine is something I do, we clamber onto my bed and read some stories, chat about our day and then I tuck her in her bed. I love spending time with OH and DSD as a family unit, I love how she's eager to see me, I love how she follows me around like a puppy and wants to help me do whatever I'm doing even if it's putting the washing out. I love that she totally adores my 9 yo niece. Being a step parent means there are good and bad and you've just got to take it all. My OH is great - he isn't that Disney parent, he respects me and expects me and his DD to respect each other. It works well. Don't get me wrong I know she's only little so atm doesn't really understand the dynamics of her family, and our relationship may change in time but right now it is good. Oh and I do also like it when she goes home. But my absolute favourite part is when we're sat doing something, such as painting or a puzzle and out of nowhere she just looks up and says "love you"

[Thatwaslulu]

My DSS are adults now but they lived with us full time until moving in with their girlfriends as my DH was the RP. I used to love seeing them making a fuss of their little brother, and it's now rewarding to see how he looks up to them as he becomes a man himself. My youngest DSS is planning his wedding and I'm super excited about that.

Not many negatives here, other than the occasional grump with their mum on DH's behalf when she tries to rewrite history.

But helping to get youngest DSS into uni was a big high point for me, his mum hadn't been fussed about his education and left all that to me because I was keen to see him do well - all those revision sessions I did with him paid off and I'm really proud.

[LemonSqueezy0]

Lovely to have such a nice, positive thread - well done for starting it

[LemonSqueezy0]

I love the lovely family time I contribute and commit to, that's balanced with weekends just with my OH where we can have more of a 'selfish' attitude. I love that, despite the best and consistant intentions of the ExW my SC has been absolutely loving and welcoming towards me and has committed to our family set up 100%. I love how my OH has made it work, and has never excluded me, or taken me for granted (or at least accepts it immediately if I say I need a bit of time to myself) if we ever have children it's let me know how good a Dad he is and how I won't be expected to do 'all the heavy lifting' myself.

[princessjonsie67]

howtodowills : I hear you on that one

[howtodowills]

I often thank my lucky stars SD isn't my daughter. Would be mortified to have such a rude child

[princessjonsie67]

that they are not mine and I know I haven't raised them so can take none of the blame for how they have turned out

[NZmonkey]

I like that i can basically be a Disney step mum. I can do all the fun stuff with DSD who is 5 but I don't have to be the one to tell her to go to bed, or hurry up and get dressed or eat her veges etc. That is for her dad to do. I also like that if i do have to tell her these things she does listen to me.

I also like that we have so many fun things we can do together baking, swimming, gardening, I taught her to ride her bike and now we are teaching her to ice skate. I love that my family have accepted her completely and that DSD calls my mum nana and my dad grandad.

howtodowills I also like it when DSD goes home to mums, its the best part about step parenting. I get to have a bit of a double life, one in which i get the best of both worlds part time parenting and part time a care free adult doing all my own things.

[Evilstepmum01]

Congratulations lotsoffreckles I'm sure they'll be delighted! We took DSD to scans and midwife appointments to hear DS's heartbeat-she was so chuffed!
howtodowills we all have days like that! and hugs x
today my DSD goes back to her mum till Fri, our DS is soo upset again, Tuesdays are hard for him. (sometimes they're my wine nights tho!)

Loving the honesty on this thread! This is why I joined MN-there just isnt any non-judgemental support for step parents.

[lotsoffreckles]

Yep I cried at that bit too Through although I had just started stabbing myself with IVF drugs so my emotions were all over the place

[Throughgrittedteeth]

This is lovely to read
Did any of you watch the Sewing Bee? There was a lovely bit where one of the contestants brought in her DC's step mother as a model; she started crying when explaining their relationship and said she was one of the most important people in her DC's lives as she is kind and patient. Brought a tear to my eye!

[lotsoffreckles]

I get to love them and they choose to love me that's the best bit....

We have fun, we giggle, we tease their Dad and I get to see all the Disney films at the cinema

Don't get me wrong I wish I could go back in time 6 years and tell myself that it will be ok and that being a Step Mum will make me the person Iam today and the 1st couple of years of sacrifices and compromise will be totally worth it for the relationship you now have with you're DSD's and their Mum.

Im currently 11 weeks pregnant I can't wait to tell them and watch them be big sisters xx

[ridingsixwhitehorses]

This is a lovely thread

[Bobochic]

I like what terrific big brothers my DD has.
I like that they have grown and developed in part due to my input and that they are the sort of boys/students that other parents admire, and that make us proud (and relieved)!

[Puddleduckthe2nd]

I like how our relationship has grown over the years, when I first meet them I found the whole thing daunting and frightening but 6 years down the line, they make me smile and I look forward to seeing them.

I also love the relationship they have with their little brother, there is a 10 year age gap between ds and my dsc but they are so sweet and kind to him and they genuinely have a lovely bond with him. He absolutely adores them too.

[ridingsixwhitehorses]

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