How do I/ Should I tell my parnter that his daughter is obease?

[BeccaAnn]

so, its an odd one, I've been with my partner for a few months and just met each others children.
We are taking them to an event at the end of the month where there is no tech/ mobile signal/ electricity and I'm making costume for the children. however when measuring his daughter for a dress she has the same measurements as me (28 yo & size 16) and she is 12. She lives with her mum and did nothing but play on computer games and eats huge portions (at least did for every meal we prepared but left all veg).

Is it my place to say to him that is something that him and his ex should talk about or just keep schtum? I know its easier to do something about food/ exercise balance now than in later life.

Views/ opinions welcome

[Pandoraalora]

You do realise your probably a bit of a chunk yourself

[SoupDragon]

What surprise - the OP never came back after her one and only post...

[WillAndDisgrace]

For all of you pointing out the OP's weight, that's not really the point. The child relies on her parents to keep her a healthy weight. What we do as an adult is down to us.

That aside OP, at the moment I don't think you should say anything. Just encourage healthy eating habits and.

[ChicRock]

Ah right. So for the OP it's a kind of 'do as I say, not as I do' concern about obesity.

[WillAndDisgrace]

Yeah, it is. I'm a little over weight but I wouldn't want that for my ds. Just like I don't allow him to drink

[WillAndDisgrace]

And how do you not know that she's not looking at if from a "don't make the same mistake as me" stance ? You don't. Either way, it's a lot harder for over weight kids to loose the fat as they get older and generally going to adult hood being fat. Why is she the villain for asking what to do

[princessjonsie67]

not your place im afraid. Mt DSS is 23 and all he does is eat junk, drink and play computer games. He only visits for two weeks each year and each year I have seen him get bigger and bigger. His dad is very active and a gym bunny and it worry's me that when my DSS visits my husbands makes him go on long walks and go to the gym. He comes back sweating and has to have a long sleep. Im sure one day he will have a heart attack. Believe me when I say your husband can see what his child looks like just as mine does. Its a case of they can critise her but if you do you will be slapped down. You will not be thanked. If you have a child just be consoled that yours is not in that situation

[Eliza22]

No.

Encourage healthy meals for all and don't pass comment.

[BeccaAnn]

She didn't come back because she's been ill. And I did talk to him about it and he's just as shocked as I was. I've now met her mother an well, from the garden/ state and smell of the house/ other siblings I can only hope she can grow up well.
Call me a unreasonable but if you have guests coming over you clean up a bit and at least empty the litter tray.

[BeccaAnn]

Thanks for the opinions too, most were helpful. I do realise that I'm not exactly a bean pole, but due to my height I'm considered overweight. I've lost 3st so far (woot illness! :( Which also means I have smaller measurements than her.) and have another 2 to go. We're going trampolining next time we have them and as an ex-professional gymnast I'm looking forward to it. Unfortunately when we suggested it it was met with 'I don't want to go, I hate exercise' she's asked to skip PE in school because of kids picking on her and having been a victim of bullying myself I really don't want to see her go through it.