Wills: how did you allocate assets in a blended family?

[AliceAnneB]

DH has two kids from a previous marriage and we have one together. We are finally sorting out our wills and finding the asset split tricky. Did you take into account what your stepchildren wild inherit from their mother/family and try to make it even? As it stands now if both of us died 80% of our assets would go to our son as he's three and would be left with friends to raise. Once reached the end of formal education whatever was left would be split between the three kids. Does that seem fair?

[owlborn]

With my dad and stepmum, the bulk of assets is willed to each other, with the exception of specific family heirlooms (paintings, medals, antiques, jewelry etc) which will be left to individuals.

Then the survivor, when they die, divide it equally between all the children. So technically I think my stepsibs are doing fairly well as I think my stepmum was less well off when she came into the marriage, but frankly, I don't care. We're family, and I think the good feeling is probably worth more than the cash. Something that might happen as well (although it's only a vague idea at the moment) is that they might disinherit all of us kids, on the grounds that we're old enough and ugly enough to look after ourselves, and have had loads of help over the years, and it'll all be divided equally between the grandkids, although that would involve regularly updating wills to make sure a younger child wasn't left out, which is I think why it's currently being left as 'divided between kids with the expectation it'll mostly be passed on to the grandkids'.

No idea what I'd do if I had stepkids. I quite like the idea that everyone is equal in a blended family, though, and I'd not like the idea of some kids getting a bigger share than others. That seems against the idea of family.

[Melonfool]

If course, after the first one dues, the second can write what they like in their will meaning the first one's family is disinherited.
In fact, they don't have to due to do this, they can write a new will at any time, wills are personal and the contents can be kept secret.

[owlborn]

Well, yes, they can. I guess it's based on trust, and depends on the relationship between stepkids and stepparent.

Perhaps I'm naive. It seems to work in my family. I can see why it might not work in others.

[AliceAnneB]

It depends on the age of the children when you die. If say my DH died first and he left everything to me both his ex wife and his children could make a claim against his estate under the 1975 act and would more than likely win. We have been advised to carry an extra life insurance policy that names the ex wife and kids as beneficiaries to prevent such an occurrence.

[Melonfool]

They could make a claim - but we also have insurance to cover that claim.

[AliceAnneB]

Melonfool - are they the beneficiaries of that policy?

[VivaLeBeaver]

My inlaws have done it so

His two kids from previous marrive get 25% each of his assets and the two kids from current marriage get 25% each.

My sil hasn't kids from a previous marriage so she is leaving all her assets 50/50 between her two kids.

So yes the younger ones get more. But I actually think it's quite fair. I guess the older ones will get money from their mother one day. And even if they don't they're not her kids so she wouldn't leave money to them.

[Melonfool]

AliceAnne - not currently, the insurance co have been singularly unhelpful with explaining what we need to do to 'assign' it.

So, I guess it currently would go into the estate. Dss gets the first £20k and I get the house (and anything in joint account/joint savings as they are held jointly so automatically go to me) and everything else is split 50/50 between me and dss. So, that would be the insurance policy split. In truth, the £20k (I should add, this £20k doesn't actually exist - the wording is "first £20k of everything he owns" but he has about £7k as far as I know, though his uncashed work share options, shares in his last co and his save as you earn might bring up up to £20k) plus half the insurance would be more than enough for the remaining maintenance, given he's 14. I would gift the rest to him in trust anyway if that happened (I don't want it).

It would be helpful to get it properly assigned though because then it can sit outside probate. It's on our to-do list to speak to the insurers again.

I think he has also assigned his death in service benefit at work 50/50 to me and dss. He knows I wouldn't leave dss to go without, and I wouldn't. I don't want to financially benefit from dp's death (I would rather like him not to die imminently anyway), but the important thing was more that I wasn't suddenly paying a mortgage (I don't pay it currently, he does) on a house I didn't fully own, or have to sell to realise the money for his ex whilst the money I was paying to the mortgage was simply increasing dss share.