Wills and stepchild

[apachepony]

I know this topic has been done before, but just interested in your opinions as dh and I had an argument about this... about to buy a house, with over a third of the purchase price being cash coming from my own savings over 10 years and a gift from my parents - how should the will split things between dsd and our joint child? House being only asset, and dsd likely to inherit an amount at least two thirds the value of the house from her mother's side?

[apachepony]

I will be paying almost all of the deposit and likely to pay more of the mortgage...I really need to speak to my dh again. He has no other assets to leave to dsd except the insurance policy that will pay out if he dies before she is 23.

[Lasvegas]

I paid more of the deposit for the house. For first 8 years of the mortgage DH paid more than me. After 5 years I will pay more towards the mortgage. Of course i took a risk that if we divorced before 8 years then I would loose 50% of my deposit.

[mumblechum1]

Toni (I don't think you're one of mine....[), the wording in those circs should say something along the lines of, "I give my residuary estate to my said Husband if he survives me but if this gift fails then [..provision for payment of debts, tax, etc.] to divide my residuary estate between such of our joint children xy&z as survive me and attain the age of 21 and if more than one in equal shares but if any of my children die before me or before attaining a vested interest leaving children then their share shall be divided equally between their children...].

I would probably name your joint children to avoid any possibility of misinterpretation.

Your husband's will will be slightly different in that he will be making the gift of the property to his children before the clause I've just quoted. The insurance won't be mentioned in the will, otherwise it would fall within the estate and that would attract inheritance tax.

[toni74]

We're just updating ours at the minute, as follows:

Our assets (including joint house and insurance policies) are split 50/50 between our children only.

Hus has another property and insurance policy which is to be shared equally between all his children (including our 2).

I didn't like the idea of joint assets being left to my dsc, husband understands this though and is in agreement.

We also took into account all the children s ages our oldest is 5, youngest sc is 18 this year... only in the event of all of us passing away would my sc inherit anything that was joint, with the other half going to my side of the family...

Its all quite complicated and having gone through this I now have to check the documents again to see that me and our children inherit in the first instance, as it doesn't seem to clearly state it

Good luck though with sorting yours out...

[dietstartsmonday]

We are just buying a house, his deposit larger than mine.

I have 3 kids he has one.

The house will be as joint tenants so if one of us dies it goes to the other.

But if we both died it would be shared equally between the four children as view them as our kids.

my kids are likely to inherit from their dads side too, and DP's son likely to inherit from grandparents on his dads side.

[Loveineveryspoonful]

We also don't live in uk but I'd say every solicitor on the planet is well aware of how to handle wills for blended families by now.
Everything I own goes to ds, anything dh will inherit goes to his dc. We don't get anything from each other, except a life interest in the home we presently live in and all dc get their parent's share. Wouldn't say dh is happy either. I think he felt he/ his dc were somehow going to benefit as well from my will. Funny thing is though, his dc have pretty wealthy gps on both sides, whereas ds modest income gps have already died. Needless to say, dh had given exw everything upon divorce, and had no savings at all when we met. Maybe men in general feel entitled to their wives money?

[mumblechum1]

Apache, as you are outside England and Wales you will need to take advice from a local lawyer.

[croquet]

I think the problem is not one with legal advice but with your DH not accepting how things should be. In essence he's trying to have 'married up' for his child. It is tricky - it does have to be discussed in advance whether the children are going to be acknowledged different or not in the relationship.

FWIW I think you are right and he is wrong, and that you should save your wealth for your DS. But how to square this with your husband I don't know.

If I were you I would just flat refuse to do it any other way. Then he has a financial choice, but not one he can influence. Otherwise you could always buy a house on your own and have him as a lodger (!)

[apachepony]

Thanks bumblechum. That sounds like a good logical solution but I could imagine dh getting upset with me wishing to treat the two children differently (even though my mum has made it v clear that to her this is an early inheritance which she wishes ds and me to benefit from). Also we're not in the uk and there's some differences which mean I don't know if that solution works eg special protection here for the family home, a spouse is automatically entitled to one third of an estate even if a will says otherwise

[mumblechum1]

to TwentyDucks

We had a similar solution but the solicitor did have a better idea and knew what might or might not be challenged also. There's a solicitor on here called mumblechum who did ours for less cash than a high street firm. It's worth it to ensure its legal.

ApachePony, Without knowing all the ins and outs of your circumstances, so this is a broad brush approach, I would suggest that you buy the new house as tenants in common. You should also make wills giving one another a life interest in the house. This means that when the first of you dies that person's share doesn't go to the surviving spouse, but in trust for the children.

When the second person dies, even if they've re-done their will giving everything to the dogs home, the first person's share goes to their intended recipient(s). Without a life interest trust and with a joint tenancy, the first person's share passes to their surviving spouse. That person can just make a new will giving everything to their child and cutting out the stepchild(ren) altogether.

This type of arrangement is very common in blended families and I frequently do these wills to ensure fairness to all of the children.

Feel free to get in touch if you need more info

[apachepony]

There already is life insurance policy that will pay out to dsd's mum in the event of dh's death.

[Chewbecca]

I did speak to a wills and probate chap about this actually who did give me some alternate advice.... But we didn't like it!
He suggested DH takes a life insurance policy to be his inheritance for his first children and we leave our house 100% to DS.
I don't agree with that as I think our existing 'wealth' to be shared is adequate, there's really no need to increase it by adding another life policy on top & we don't particularly want to increase our outgoings to fund it. I am a but suspicious that he was on commission for life insurance policies.

[Twentyducks]

We had a similar solution but the solicitor did have a better idea and knew what might or might not be challenged also. There's a solicitor on here called mumblechum who did ours for less cash than a high street firm. It's worth it to ensure its legal.

[TamerB]

Maybe the solicitor can come up with a solution that suits both.

[apachepony]

I don't think I need a solicitor (well other than to buy a house), we need to agree what we want to do before we go near a solicitor!

[TamerB]

I would get a solicitor. We have changed to tenants in common, nothing to do with step children- just safeguarding ourselves as we get older. My only point is that you should have sorted it before you had a child. I would discuss it with a solicitor and get proper advice now.

[apachepony]

I think the presumption is if you're married it's held as joint tenants. I could see an even bigger argument coming if I said I wanted to hold in different shares

[JoinYourPlayfellows]

To think all wealth of the mums should be cancelled out and it all gathered under the husband's name to share equally is a bit... medieval?

:o

I might love you a little bit, croquet :o

[Philoslothy]

100% of ex wife's house will go to DSS.

Our other children will inherit from this house - presently 5 of them - hopefully 6 .

[TamerB]

I agree that being fair might not be giving them the same amount but it does need to be worked out before you have a joint child. It is too important to go ahead with different assumptions.

[LtEveDallas]

You can't always 'sort it out' though Tamer. You can't put your life on hold for fear of upsetting the applecart. What if the first child was born when you were 18 and not in a steady relationship? Do you deny yourself future happiness or more children till the day you die?

All you need to be is 'fair' - some people want to be 'generous' and that's great, but 'fair' should be the starting place.

[TamerB]

That was my argument- I wouldn't have another child in those circumstances- it should be sorted out first.

[LtEveDallas]

Apache, he needs to look at it in numbers:

If your 50% goes to your DD
His 50% goes to your DD and his DD
His Ex's 100% (or however it would be split) goes to his DD.

So your DD gets 75%
His DD gets 125%

If you split with DP, then that is how it would happen in any case. He needs to treat his 2 children equally.