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Step-parenting

Parental responsibility chances when father not in agreement?

31 replies

Claire2390 · 10/10/2013 20:20

I have been the main career of my 3yr old stepson for the last 2yrs. His father has been given contact since he was 18 months and was given PR at this time to! A final order 2 months ago has given him 12hrs a week contact. I would like to have PR as it is a pain not being allowed to sign playgroup letters and doctors and dentists cant see him without a parent present. I believe it will also be useful when he is older if i do have legal standing as his parent! My question is, can i get PR as his father doesn't accept me as part of his life and will not consent to an order? If i can how do i go about this? And what are my chances?

OP posts:

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holidaysarenice · 12/10/2013 16:58

Whilst I feel for you, I think yabu. I would like to think that no-one could start a relationship with my dc's other parent and have PR over my dc.

You haven't given the father a chance, he may be very good and give ds the df role very well.

You have talked of df casting him as a possession which is exactly what you are doing. He is biologically a portion of both these adults (one barely more than a child when the decison was made) he is environmentally a part of three adults.

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allnewtaketwo · 12/10/2013 17:06

"Her stepson was conceived using a sperm donor so her and her partner could have a child. The 'anonymous' sperm donor then decided he wanted contact"

Fairy, to be fair, the OP chose not to describe her circumstances in the OP and I too had not realised until much later, when other posters recognised her, what the circumstances are

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Viviennemary · 12/10/2013 17:21

I didn't realise either so apologised. But I don't understand why the OP is describing herself as a step-parent. If I had a child by a donor sperm I wouldn't think that my partner would be the child's step parent. I'd think my partner was the child's parent. It was the term of step-parent in this situation that was confusing.

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fairy1303 · 12/10/2013 19:11

Yeah, sorry, was a bit OTT there. I do find it offensive though to be honest - even if she WAS a traditional step parent - she says in her OP that she is the main carer - so I still think the comments were unfair and I HATE it when the old 'you're not their mother' card gets pulled out - I am not DSDs mother, bloody good job too because her mother is a pathetic pile of shit who does fuck all for her child whilst I bring her up - so I don't think it's unreasonable that I should have rights.

Sorry, have had bad day. I shouldn't have taken it out here.

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ThisWayForCrazy · 16/10/2013 19:39

I dont have PR for my stepson who lives with me. I take him to all his appointments and deal with school etc. I even opened his bank account with him...

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ChinaCupsandSaucers · 16/10/2013 20:48

I dont have PR for my stepson who lives with me. I take him to all his appointments and deal with school etc. I even opened his bank account with him...

Which is fine all the while the absent parent is just that, absent.
But, if the NRP chooses to object to decisions made by a step-parent (or any other adult without PR), then things can get very, very messy. Teaching and medical careers have ended on the strength of consent given by a step-parent which was subsequently challenged/overruled by a parent with PR.

The OPs DS is subject to court procedings brought by his biological father; it would be unfair and some would say immoral for her to continue to act as if she has PR whrn she doesnt and jeopardise the careers of professionals involved in her DS life.