Do you have questions about creating positive bathroom habits and routines? Ask toilet training expert Amanda Jenner - £200 voucher to be won

[LibbyMumsnet]

Please note, questions have been answered and the expert is no longer available to answer new questions.

According to toilet training expert Amanda Jenner, 73% of parents don’t think there is enough advice when it comes to toilet training*. During lockdown, there has been a huge increase of children losing their confidence when going to the toilet which has led to an increase of older children having more frequent toilet accidents in and out the home. With this in mind, Amanda will be here to answer your questions between 4th-8th January.

Here’s some more information on Amanda Jenner: “Amanda is known as The UK’s Toilet Training Expert. Throughout her career, she has worked closely with families and the education sector, giving advice and guidance during key stages of child development.
She hosts regular live clinics, debates and campaigns to help parents talk about their children’s toilet habits and behaviour throughout their early childhood."

Here’s what Andrex has to say: “Andrex® wants to help your family along its unique toileting journey with a little fun along the way. Over the next few months, we will be launching a series of tips, tools and advice to help you and your child grow in confidence, establishing healthy bathroom habits and routines. As we know those positive behaviours we develop as a child will last a lifetime.
We’re excited to join your family on this adventure.”

Whether you‘d like to know how you can teach your child healthy bathroom habits or you're concerned that lockdown has knocked your child’s confidence when using the toilet independently, ask Amanda your questions on this thread.

All who post a question (regardless of whether it is answered or not) will be entered into a prize draw where one MNer will win a £200 voucher for the store of their choice (from a list).

Thanks and good luck!

MNHQ

Insight Terms and Conditions apply

*Survey conducted by Amanda’s Potty Training Academy

[AmandaJenner]

@curlyrebel

My 3.5yo DD is fully potty trained day and night. However I think she withholds her wee when she is at nursery school. When she comes home she goes straight to the potty and her wee is so dark it's like she hasn't been for hours.

She recently got an infection which I think is because of the withholding. She can be particular about sitting on the toilet when there is already wee or anything at all in the bowel, so I wonder if that's why she doesn't go more often at school. What can I do to encourage her to go more and get over any anxieties?

She is also in the habit of making poo at intervals of 3-7 days. She takes movicol and we don't have the nightmare we used to have of constipation but I wonder if she might go more frequently as she gets older?

Hi @curlyrebel. This appears to me that she is not drinking enough in the day which will result in her urine being a dark colour. You will need to discuss this with your nursery and get them to encourage more fluids throughout the day. I would suggest cutting out some stars with your little one and put them into a clear bag with her name on it, get her to take them into nursery and she gets rewarded a star when she does a wee. Then she can bring the stars home with her daily and if you can set some wrapped prizes up for her numbered, she will get a prize depending on the number of stars. The bladder and the bowel are linked so her withholding wee can also promote constipation so this will really help. I would explain all of this to the nursery ahead of time not in front of your little girl just so they understand the star system. But fluids are very important for both bladder and bowel.

[AmandaJenner]

@CornishTiger

I’m interested in the teaching then to wipe their own bottom too!

Hi @CornishTiger. Again, this can take some time to master practise makes perfect but keeping showing them what to do with your hand and theirs on top, and praise them when you have done this, it will happen eventually.

[AmandaJenner]

@RugsEverywhere

Is there such a thing as leaving it too late to start toilet training?

Hi @RugsEverywhere. When your little one is showing signs they are ready it’s a good time to start, no matter what the season. If they are showing interest in toilet training, go with it, don’t delay as you can miss the boat. But if they are a school starter in September you must encourage this in the spring as some take longer than others.

[AmandaJenner]

@ButterflyOfFreedom

How do we get our 7 year old to be more efficient with his toilet roll use????!
I've heard it's pretty common for children to use way too much resulting in blocked toilets etc.

Hi @ButterflyOfFreedom. I would suggest you tear some toilet paper off, and leave a limited amount paper for them to use, as this sometimes is a habit that many children tend to adopt.

[AmandaJenner]

@Rae1000

I would like to know how I csan make older children leave the toilet (inside the pan and out) in a reasonable state? Asking politely doesn't work. Moaning doesn't work... Thanks

Hi @Rae1000. It never harms to show them how to clean it and explain the importance of good hygiene in the bathroom. Incentives help for older children pick something you know will encourage your child.

[AmandaJenner]

@yuyubooboo

I've had a real battle to ensure my DC3 washes their hands afterwards. He does if I'm watching him but not otherwise. We've talked about it and bought fun soaps and I've tried all sorts. I'm getting nowhere!

Hi @yuyubooboo. I would fill a star jar up and have another empty one, and every time they wash their hands they can be awarded a star and they can be counted at the end of the week and achieve a reward that you choose. This is a great way of encouraging them to want to do it.

[AmandaJenner]

@Hugbear

How do you encourage a very hyper child (aged 5) to sit on the toilet until they finish their wee or poo rather than rush through and then go straight back to the toilet?

Hi @Hugbear. A distraction box works wonders, this will help them to relax more a not rush off before they have finished. Fill with things that you know with things that he would like and keep this just for toilet time. About 3 objects is fine bubbles being one is always a hit!

[AmandaJenner]

@micc

My four year old has always had toilet issues.
She struggles to wipe properly. She likes to be independent and is very head strong. So she hates it when I remind her what to do. She always forgets one, either washing hands, flushing the loo or wiping! And I sometimes see shes only used one sheet! 🤢 I have explained a few times how to wipe but she doesnt really take on what I say. I think because potty training was such a nightmare she really doesnt like talking about the toilet with us.

How do I approach this with her in a way she would like?

Hi @micc. Wiping clean can take lots of practise and children to tend to rush this or wipe to much. I would leave a certain amount of paper for her and explain she is clean when this is all gone. Always using little flash cards that they follow for each step, so they visually see what they must do really helps and makes it more fun. You can even make these at home with her using your own toilet and sink picture making them colourful will help.

[AmandaJenner]

@BrizzleMaverick

I've already mentioned about my three year old only pooing in his pants.
Now the situation with my six year old is out of control, he will not go to the toilet in any public bathroom, not in a park toilets, cafe or local museum or shopping centre. He is afraid of the hand dryers but we never use them and he would go happily but now he even refuses to come in to the actual bathroom. As you can imagine this is proving quite difficult with a three year who needs cleaning and being unable to leave a six year old by himself.

Hi @BrizzleMaverick. I always recommend ear defenders for children afraid of hand dryers so many children don’t like them, so take these with you when your out and about, explain to him these are for when you're outside so he can go into the toilet and hear nothing, these can really help this problem. Before your first outing, test them at home first so he feels confident that he can’t hear anything.

[AmandaJenner]

Thank you for all your questions, sometimes these issues can take small steps and consistency to get right. Good luck, AJ

[Bloatstoat]

Thanks very much Amanda, will definitely give it a try!
This has been a really useful thread, while I'm sorry to hear all the issues everyone is having it's been really helpful to see we're not the only ones struggling with toilet training, everyone I know seems to have kids who were perfect overnight and it's been such a worry for us. Good luck to everyone, fingers crossed we see some improvement soon!

[TellMeItsNotTrue]

@AmandaJenner
Thankyou, I will try that 😊 I appreciate you getting back to me

[Montydoo]

thank you for answering my question
great advice for all questions

[LibbyMumsnet]

Thanks all for your questions! The winner of the prize draw is @Ladybird345

[Rae1000]

I will give it a go though must admit I do feel reluctant in rewarding what I see as quite basic. Thanks for the advice

[MRex]

I didn't get an answer, oh well!

[Tinksamy12]

My 3 year old took to toilet training no bother (for a wee) we started before he turned 3 however he really struggled when it came to doing a poo and would only poop in a pull up, we’ve discussed at length with him about needing to start using the toilet for a poop too, he was fine with it at first. We took all pull ups away, made a reward chart, bought stickers etc. First poop done 👍🏼 He has since started to hold them in. Today is day 3 of not pooping. He’s just wanting cuddles and isn’t interested in toys or wanting to do anything. Eating is normal but he doesn’t seem himself. Started him on kiddie laxative suggested by pharmacist, anything else I can try so get my little one back to his cheery funny self??

[Booboospud]

Hi couple of questions. Little one is 3. He’s keen to learn to wipe own bottom but no matter what angle we try he just can’t reach properly. Unsure how to go forward with this. He’s also using a toilet looking potty because the toilet in our house was out in specifically for old own and it’s so high up even my feet just about touch floor. Even with a step a worry this is too much to leave him to do alone?

[MrsLeclerc]

My DS will start nursery school in September a few days after he turns 3. He’s not showing any signs of being ready for potty training yet. He won’t say/doesn’t acknowledge he’s been, he can’t pull his trousers up or down etc.

I’m worried he won’t be nappy free in time if I wait too long, but I also don’t want to frustrate us both with trying too soon.

I’ve been trying to talk about his peeing/poo with him. I’m also trying to get him to pull and push his trousers when he gets changed. Are children’s books a good way to get him thinking more about it all?

[WorkplaceLlama]

Should my 3.6 year old be able to wipe properly by now? It’s very hit or miss and I find I have to check after every toilet trip.

[Sleepybumble]

How can we encourage through hand washing in our 5 year old. She rarely uses soap with out being reminded when hand washing

[Angiemum24]

Any techniques for getting my three year old son to wipe his own bottom properly?