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Young Minds’ advisers have answered your questions on children's mental health and wellbeing

71 replies

JustineBMumsnet · 30/09/2020 17:16

Uncertainty and anxiety has been prevalent for many this year, and it’s no surprise that lots of children have struggled to cope in the circumstances. With that in mind, Young Minds have two advisers from their Parents Helpline to help answer the questions you might have about your child’s mental health and wellbeing.

“Better Health-Every Mind Matters offers simple, NHS-approved tips for supporting your child’s mental wellbeing, plus more advice from its charity partners. These include Young Minds who have two advisers from their Parents Helpline to help answer the questions you might have about your child’s mental health and wellbeing.”

Some background information on the advisors answering your questions can be found below:

Jack Parnell-Driver started as a volunteer on the Parents Helpline 7 years ago whilst studying for his degree in Psychology and Counselling. In his time on the service, he has been a frontline adviser and managed the volunteers, Professional Advisers and staff on the service. His experience has been focused on working with children with learning disabilities and emotional problems in school. He is currently training to become a Counsellor/Psychotherapist.

Stevie Goulding is also a Parents Helpline Co-Manager, she manages all of the volunteers who work on the service, some staff members and is also a lead safeguarding officer. Stevie began her career as a volunteer in 2016 whilst she completed her Psychology degree, and after graduating became a full time helpline advisor. Last year, Stevie finished her Master’s in Forensic Psychology and has been a Team Leader since last summer.

Please note that Stevie and Jack will not be able to respond to any questions about responding to physical violence or aggression. If you have questions about this, please contact the Parents Helpline instead.

Please leave your questions about your child’s mental health and wellbeing - whether related to COVID or not - in the thread below. Stevie and Jack will be back on Thursday 8th October to answer questions.

All who leave a question will be entered into a prize draw where one MNer will win a £100 voucher for the store of their choice (from a list).

Thanks and good luck!

MNHQ

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Young Minds’ advisers have answered your questions on children's mental health and wellbeing
Young Minds’ advisers have answered your questions on children's mental health and wellbeing
OP posts:
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jacqui5366 · 06/10/2020 08:16

My DS stammer has returned - he had this when DS2 was born and he struggled to cope with the change - I think it's down to going back to school, I have spoken with him and he told me he is spends his time in class 'looking for the virus' - I really don't know how to make him feel safe when he is out.

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lillypopdaisyduke · 06/10/2020 08:18

How do you look out for signs of depression in a child (age 8) DS1 had been scratching his arms - I am worried it's the beginning of self harm - I have spent lots of time with cuddles and reassurance. I want to see if this will improve -or is early intervention better ?

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HobNobAddict · 06/10/2020 08:23

DS 8 was bullied terribly before lockdown, this was getting better as she was getting help in school with the pastoral worker, however she is now back in school, and cries in the car going, and I feel the bullying - or the memories of this are being triggered, I have spoken to her class teacher and playground lead - and have been reassured that nothing else has happened - the 'bullies' seemed to have forgotten about her - is there anything else you would recommend

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alwaysataldi · 06/10/2020 08:29

My DS age 11 was worried out his weight - he is tall and quite well built - rugby player looking - but definitely not fat. Whenever I make his packed lunch - it comes back half eaten, and he just picks at his tea saying he is not hungry - he cannot go on living healthily on such little food, I am trying not to make a 'big deal' about his eating, and hope this will resolve itself, but fear he is becoming anorexic. ............... I want to go into school or the GP - but with Covid I don't feel he will be a priority

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pushchairprincess · 06/10/2020 11:01

I have tried to shield my children from any news on Covid and the deaths and infection rate when I can - I don't want them to worry - they do know it's there of course and know why mummy wears a mask in Asda - how much insight do you think they should have other than the 'hands face space' advise - I want their childhoods to be as worry free a possible.

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JaneyJimplin · 06/10/2020 19:24

My 10 year old son is a very anxious boy. He has lots of triggers, that I try to avoid. We saw CAMHS and the person we spoke to there said he thought my son was "a classic case of asperger's" and referred him for an ADOS. Unfortunately, waiting lists in our area are 3 years+ (even longer now everything is on hold with covid ). So we paid for a private assessment and they said he doesn't meet the threshold for an ASD diagnosis, he is just a very bright but anxious boy.
I'm dubious, I feel like there might be something beyond anxiety but we cant afford another private assessment.

I guess I'm asking if, in your experience, you do see examples of autistic behaviours in children who 'just' have anxiety? How much do the two issues cross over?

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nailsathome · 07/10/2020 12:13

My 9 yr old has inherited my GAD - it's a family trait on my mum's side. I was really hoping she wouldn't but I can see it. She is so confident around other people but falls apart about everything when she's at home. Covid has only enhanced this. How do I help her? We talk through things and I allow her to express her anxieties and worries whenever she needs to but it is now starting to cross into inappropriate times e.g. my bedtime or when one of my other children are trying to share their troubles. I don't know the best route to take. She's knows I understand and will always listen but she also needs to get on with things a bit.

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claza93 · 07/10/2020 20:39

My 15 year old daughter has refused to go back to school this term, we know that there is something troubling her but she is refusing to start talking about it. We have found that being on her own triggers her anxiety, she will not even be left in the car whilst I pop to the shops.
We have managed to get her referred and had an online appointment last week, unfortunately she lost if before the meeting and refused to engage. Do you have any tips to encourage her to talk?
She becomes very aggressive and upset when we try to bring it up

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KoalaRabbit · 08/10/2020 07:02

My DS (13 and suspected ASD) often gets very anxious about school though fine at home and occassionally school refuses and hides at school, appears to be hiding from teachers and wanting to be alone. He gets nightmares and has even pulled some hair out. What can I do to help him? Thanks

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Toombumber · 08/10/2020 11:33

Hi my DD is 12 and googles and does 'quizzes' on a lot of conditions she's heard of such as social anxiety and diagnoses herself. Is this a good idea for self-awareness and building up ways of talking about her symptoms (she has some) or even more worrying for someone with any amount of anxiety?

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StevieYoungMinds · 08/10/2020 13:02

Hi Everyone,

Thank you so much to everyone has posted a question for myself and Jack. We very much look forward to answering them as best we can and we hope that your find our information useful.

If you have any further questions or feel that you need more advice in supporting your child's mental health, please do not hesitate to get in touch with our Parents Helpline via email, webchat and telephone. Please use this link to find out more about the support we offer: youngminds.org.uk/find-help/for-parents/parents-helpline/

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StevieYoungMinds · 08/10/2020 13:06

Hi @BristolMum96

I am really sorry to hear that your 3-year-old daughter has struggled during lockdown, since she is not able to attend nursery or go anywhere due to ongoing restrictions. I can appreciate how difficult it must be to see her unhappy and it sounds like you are doing all you can to support her.

It is really important that you try and provide her with lots of reassurance that one day the pandemic will pass and she will be able to go back to doing things she enjoys, and remain hopeful for the future. It might be helpful to sit down with your daughter and create a jar which you can fill with things that she would like to do when there are less restrictions in place - this will give her something to look forward to.

I would also encourage you to explain that restrictions are in place to keep her and your family safe, and provide some reassurance around this that it is not her fault. As far as possible you should try and maintain social connections with friends and family, whether that be virtually or in person.

For more information and advice on how you can support your daughter through the pandemic, I would encourage you to visit our Parents Hub: youngminds.org.uk/find-help/for-parents/supporting-your-child-during-the-coronavirus-pandemic/

I hope that you find this information useful and please get in touch with our helpline if you need any further advice: youngminds.org.uk/find-help/for-parents/parents-helpline/

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StevieYoungMinds · 08/10/2020 13:07

@BristolMum96

My 3 year old has really suffered with her mental health this year due to not attending nursery and all her classes and groups being cancelled. She still can't go anywhere or see anyone due to closures. As on only child she is starting to become quite an unhappy child despite my maximum efforts to negate this Sad what can I do to help her?

Hi @BristolMum96

I am really sorry to hear that your 3-year-old daughter has struggled during lockdown, since she is not able to attend nursery or go anywhere due to ongoing restrictions. I can appreciate how difficult it must be to see her unhappy and it sounds like you are doing all you can to support her.

It is really important that you try and provide her with lots of reassurance that one day the pandemic will pass and she will be able to go back to doing things she enjoys, and remain hopeful for the future. It might be helpful to sit down with your daughter and create a jar which you can fill with things that she would like to do when there are less restrictions in place - this will give her something to look forward to.

I would also encourage you to explain that restrictions are in place to keep her and your family safe, and provide some reassurance around this that it is not her fault. As far as possible you should try and maintain social connections with friends and family, whether that be virtually or in person.

For more information and advice on how you can support your daughter through the pandemic, I would encourage you to visit our Parents Hub: youngminds.org.uk/find-help/for-parents/supporting-your-child-during-the-coronavirus-pandemic/

I hope that you find this information useful and please get in touch with our helpline if you need any further advice: youngminds.org.uk/find-help/for-parents/parents-helpline/
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StevieYoungMinds · 08/10/2020 13:10

@Elysi

My 13 year old, yr8, is mostly lovely but one small thing can trigger him and he gets so angry. His eyes roll, he hyperventilates, he goes rigid. Anger, processing issue, I’m not sure. I reached out to school for support but it didn’t happen due to Covid and now seems he’s at the end of a very long queue.

Hi @Elysi

I am really sorry to hear that your 13-year-old son can struggle with feelings of anger and that you have found it difficult to seek support for him during the pandemic. It sounds like you have been really proactive in contacting your son’s school and I would encourage you to keep them updated on how he is feeling.

Anger is a natural emotion that we all experience, however young people can sometimes find these feelings overwhelming and may be unsure on how to manage them. Young people often use anger as a way to express how they are feeling and it is important that you try and explore what might me underlying it.

When your son is in a calm place, I would encourage you to ask your son what could help him when he is feeling angry, encourage him to monitor when he starts feeling unsettled and think of things he could do to try and diffuse this. For further in guidance on how you can respond to your son’s feelings of anger, please see our advice page: youngminds.org.uk/find-help/for-parents/parents-guide-to-support-a-z/parents-guide-to-support-anger/

It might also be helpful for your son to have a safe space where he can open up about his feelings and emotions. There are lots of online organisations that can provide this support, such as The Mix. For further information, please see our counselling resource: youngminds.org.uk/find-help/for-parents/parents-guide-to-support-a-z/parents-guide-to-support-counselling-services/

I hope you find this information helpful and please get in touch with our Parents Helpline if you need more help: youngminds.org.uk/find-help/for-parents/parents-helpline/
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StevieYoungMinds · 08/10/2020 13:12

@Pegase

My six year old managed lockdown really well but since then her self esteem has plummeted. She puts herself down all the time, says she's worthless, hates herself and is naughty. She is pushing boundaries at the moment which doesn't help with us trying to be positive with her.

Hi @Pegase

It sounds like you and your daughter are going through a difficult time at the moment, especially since you feel that her self-esteem has plummeted. It must be really difficult to her say things like she is worthless and that she hates herself.

Although it can be difficult when children push boundaries, it is important to continue showing your daughter lots of love and reinforce her positive qualities. It is also important to remain consistent in your boundaries and with your daily routine, since young people who are finding it difficult to manage their emotions really rely on stability when they are not feeling quite themselves.

It may be helpful to create a compliments pot/jar together with your daughter and let her decorate it. You and other members of your family can then post positive notes about your daughter and what makes her special. At times when he is struggling you can then encourage her to pick a note out of the jar.

For further ways that you can help improve your daughter's self-esteem please see our resource sheet: youngminds.org.uk/find-help/for-parents/parents-guide-to-support-a-z/parents-guide-to-support-self-esteem/

I hope this is helpful and please get in touch with our Parents Helpline if you need any more advice: youngminds.org.uk/find-help/for-parents/parents-helpline/
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StevieYoungMinds · 08/10/2020 13:15

@ButterflyOfFreedom

My 8 yo seems to have a bit of low self esteem. He says other children are better than him and that he is not good at stuff (untrue of course).
How can I build him up?

Thank you.

Hi @ButterflyOfFreedom

I am sorry to hear that your 8-year-old son is struggling with his self-esteem and feels that other children are better than him. I can imagine that his must be tough to hear as a parent and I think it is great that you are looking for ways to build his confidence.

It is important to continue showing your son lots of love, emphasise his positives and praise his successes. It may be helpful to create a compliments pot/jar where you and other members of your family can post positive notes about your son and what makes him special. At times when he is struggling you can then encourage him to pick a note out of the jar.

It can also be helpful to nurture hobbies and activities that your son enjoys, to help boost his confidence and healthily challenge why he thinks others are better than him, for example if he says he can’t do something that others can, try and focus on what he can do. For more information on ways you can help your son’s self-esteem please see our resource sheet: youngminds.org.uk/find-help/for-parents/parents-guide-to-support-a-z/parents-guide-to-support-self-esteem/

I hope this information helps and please do get in touch with our Parents Helpline if you need any further information: youngminds.org.uk/find-help/for-parents/parents-helpline/
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JackYoungMinds · 08/10/2020 13:21

@Pimmsypimms

We have a had a hell of a year with dds (15) mental health. We finally managed to get help but it took way too long and there were far too many hoops to jump through.
It felt like every corner I turned around I hit a brick wall with regard to finding a service that could help.
How likely is is it that the government will put more funding in to helping our teens with their mental health issues? Specifically under 16s as I found it harder to get any help as she was under 16.

Hi @Pimmsypimms,

I am ever so sorry to hear that your daughter’s been through such a tough time with her mental health over the last past year. We often hear people struggling to navigate mental health services and access help. I completely agree that more needs to be done for young people’s mental health, especially in light of the pandemic and the impact that is having. I hope your daughter has managed to find some support now, if not please do not hesitate to contact our helpline directly. youngminds.org.uk/find-help/for-parents/parents-helpline/

You may also find it helpful to read and sign-up to the YoungMinds campaign ‘Beyond Tomorrow’ which is calling on the Government to limit the long-term impacts of the coronavirus pandemic on young people’s mental health and calling on government to provide more funding for young people’s mental health services. Read more and sign-up here;
youngminds.org.uk/get-involved/campaign-with-us/beyond-tomorrow/
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StevieYoungMinds · 08/10/2020 13:22

@Gazelda

DD (12) worked hard all through lockdown, mostly alone as DH and I were WFH and trying to hang into our jobs.
She's being really hard in herself now, determined to work extra hard to make up for the 'lost' term. She's working herself into burnout which her teachers have also recognised.
How do I help her reign in her perfectionism and start to enjoy life again.
I miss her laughter.

Hi @Gazelda

Thank you for your post. I can imagine that you are incredibly proud of how hard your daughter has worked during the lockdown, I am however sorry to hear that she is being really hard on herself since going back to school.

I can appreciate how difficult it has been for your daughter in trying to continue with her school work over the lockdown period and it is admirable that she wants to make up for lost time. It is important that you validate how she is feeling and praise her intentions, however encourage her to lead a balance between her school life and home life. I would encourage you to have conversations with your daughter around the importance of prioritising her wellbeing, and explain that if she does not take time out or care of herself then she will not be able to engage or achieve as much as you would want to – since she may become unwell or fatigued.

It might be helpful for you to sit down with your daughter and map out a schedule together - which allocates her time to complete her work and time-out periods/or fun things to do. This may help her to be able to strike a balance and factor in breaks. You may want to think about things that you can do together or activities she would like to do at times when she is not completing her school work, for example meeting friends or baking.

I would also advise you to keep your daughters school updated and explore whether they are able to offer any further support to her.

I hope you will find this information useful and I wish both you and your daughter all the best. If you need any further help, please get in touch with our Parents Helpline: youngminds.org.uk/find-help/for-parents/parents-helpline/
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StevieYoungMinds · 08/10/2020 13:25

@Afibtomyboy

How best to approach a child that is very reluctant to open up but clearly has worries playing on mind?

Hi @Afibtomyboy

Thank you for submitting your question.

Young people can often struggle to open about their worries, feelings and emotions. At times young people may find it difficult to find the words or articulate themselves. Others may be worried about upsetting or worrying their parents, or what the possible consequences of talking may be.

If a child is struggling to open up verbally, it can help to use different channels in which they can communicate through, for example drawings, text messages, letters, post-it notes on the fridge.

It can also be really helpful to talk about young people's worries at a time where a conversation is naturally flowing (even if it is about something completely unrelated) or when they are doing an activity that they enjoy, for example baking or walking the dog - this way it will feel less daunting. For more ways you can help young people open up about how they are feeling, I would encourage you to look at our Take20 webpage which offers lots of conversation starters and guidance for parents: youngminds.org.uk/starting-a-conversation-with-your-child/

I hope this information is helpful and wish you the very best of luck. If you need any more guidance please contact our Parents Helpline: youngminds.org.uk/find-help/for-parents/parents-helpline/
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JackYoungMinds · 08/10/2020 13:25

@TheEndisCummings

My 15 year old DD has a furious temper - really explosive - she flips between kind and horrid, so angry, so negative. Is this just to be put down to teenage hormones - or at what point should one take it more seriously and involve other agencies. When it is happening, we all want to die - but then it is over and we forget about it.

Hi @TheEndisCummings,

Thank you for your question. It sounds like you, your daughter and your whole family are impacted by these angry and explosive outbursts. I am sorry to hear this, it must be so difficult for everyone involved.

Anger is a natural and normal emotion which we all have and experience from time-to-time, especially as a teenager – as you rightly said hormones will be playing their part. Despite this, it’s important to remember that all behaviour to way of communication. It may be a sign that your daughter is struggling to communicate her emotions in other ways and is resulting in her feeling frustrated and angry. Sometimes anger is a result of other underlying emotional difficulties such as feeling fearful, worried, anxious, depressed or low. So finding out what might be underlying the anger can help, this is not always easy and sometimes your daughter may not know what is causing it.

We would suggest starting with finding ways to communicate better with one another and agreeing ways to better manage conflict when it does arise, e.g. removing yourself from the situation and letting your daughter calm down before readdressing the issue. You may find it helpful to read the section on our website which gives some suggestions about how to start a conversation with your child about mental health; youngminds.org.uk/starting-a-conversation-with-your-child/

From your comment, it seems like you have been concerned about this for a while, if this is the case then the first step is exploring whether she could access support through her school (e.g. a school counsellor or pastoral team) and speak to the GP about what local support is available.
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StevieYoungMinds · 08/10/2020 13:28

@chillied

DD is just starting Y10, starting Gcse curriculum has triggered anxiety. She has until now been a straight-A type student, very diligent, very hard working. Self motivated. I think gcses makes the stakes 'real' for the first time and she feels frozen with fears - better not to start a piece of work than to do it sub-standard.

More than anything she can't switch off the anxious whirling round and round thoughts in her head. How can I help? Counselling or therapy would seem helpful but I don't know what I'm looking for.

Hi @chillied

Thank you for sharing your concerns. I am really sorry to hear that your daughter’s GSCE curriculum has triggered anxiety within her and she is finding it difficult to overcome anxious thoughts. It sounds like a really difficult time for all of you and I can appreciate why you are looking for help at this time.

Anxiety can be really overwhelming for young people and as you say your daughter is finding it difficult to switch off her anxious feelings. To help your daughter contain and make sense of the worries she is experiencing, it may be helpful for her to keep a worry diary. This is something she can keep with her both at school and at home, and she can jot down any worrying thoughts that she is struggling with. This can help to prevent your daughter from keeping her anxious thoughts inside, as physically writing them down can provide containment. She can then dedicate some time when she is at home and feels safe to talk through her worries with you. You can provide reassurance and also work together to think of things that could help her to better manage these thoughts should they happen again. The diary can also help to identify patterns of when she is feeling anxious and the reasons why, which can help you and her school better target support.

Counselling can be really helpful for young people, since it provides a space outlet for them to talk about their worries and concerns. To explore counselling options for your daughter I would encourage you to speak to her school and GP since they can help to set this up. In addition, there are a number of organisations that provide online counselling and support for young people, which can be a great option when waiting for face to face services. For more information about counselling and how to access it please see our resource: youngminds.org.uk/find-help/for-parents/parents-guide-to-support-a-z/parents-guide-to-support-counselling-services/

I hope this information helps and please get in touch with our Parent Helpline if you need any further advice: youngminds.org.uk/find-help/for-parents/parents-helpline/
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StevieYoungMinds · 08/10/2020 13:29

@ErinSophia

How do I identify times when my childrens mental health is beginning to suffer so I can intervene at the earliest opportunity ?

Hi @ErinSophia,

Thank you very much for your question.

You as a parent know your children better than anyone else and should trust your gut instinct if ever you start to feel worried or concerned. Some things that you may want to look out for are a persistent and sustained change in your child’s behaviour, look out for symptoms that are ongoing and out of character. Young people may also become withdrawn and find it difficult to find enjoyment in things that they usually really enjoy, for example meeting friends. Also, it is important to evaluate whether your child's difficulties are impacting on other areas of their life, for example school or ability to engage in friendships .

It is always best to flag your concerns at the earliest opportunity with your children’s school, since they too may have noticed changes or can begin to monitor them more closely when they are at school. It may be helpful to talk to your close friends and family to see whether they have noticed any changes or have any concerns. It may also be helpful to book a GP appointment to discuss any worries you may have and also explore what support is available in your local area as and when you may need it. By reaching out to professional services and voluntary services, you can sound out your concerns and ensure that support is put in place at the earliest opportunity - it is always best to check!

I hope this information helps, and please do get in touch with our Parents Helpline if ever you need any further advice: youngminds.org.uk/find-help/for-parents/parents-helpline/
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StevieYoungMinds · 08/10/2020 13:32

@jacqui5366

My DS stammer has returned - he had this when DS2 was born and he struggled to cope with the change - I think it's down to going back to school, I have spoken with him and he told me he is spends his time in class 'looking for the virus' - I really don't know how to make him feel safe when he is out.

Hi @jacqui5366,

Thank you for sharing your concerns around your son. I am very sorry to hear that his stammer has returned and I understand that you suspect it may have been caused by returning to school. It sounds like a really difficult time for you all.

The pandemic continues to be a worrying and sometimes frightening time for young people, especially with more restrictions being introduced and the spread of the virus increasing. It is difficult to know how to help young people to keep safe when they are out as a parent and I can appreciate your concerns around this.

You can help your son to keep safe when he is out and about by making sure he has all of the practical things he may need such as a face mask and hand wash. You might want to create a checklist or put a note up in the house to remind everyone. Sometimes it can be really helpful for young people to learn what being socially distanced looks like and indicators they can look out for to reassure them that they are 2m away, so you may want to re-enact this or talk about these things at home, so that your son feels more prepared. It is really important to reassure your son that these precautions can go a long way in keeping him safe and minimise the risk of him contracting the virus, and this is why we have certain restrictions in place, as well as remaining hopeful that the pandemic will pass one day.

For more detailed advice around how you can best support your son through the pandemic and help him feel safe please see our Parents Hub: youngminds.org.uk/find-help/for-parents/supporting-your-child-during-the-coronavirus-pandemic/

I hope this information is helpful and wish you the very best. If you need any further advice please get in touch with our Parents Helpline:youngminds.org.uk/find-help/for-parents/parents-helpline/
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JackYoungMinds · 08/10/2020 13:32

@Kakiweewee

My female child has recently been diagnosed with ADHD at twelve after a poor first year at secondary school. They have issues with anxiety and controlling their moods. Is there anything I can do to support them that would both help their ADHD and help them manage their mental health? Does having ADHD change the strategies I need for supporting them with their mental health?

Hi @Kakiweewee

I’m sorry to hear about the concerns you have for your daughter, who I understand has recently been diagnosed with ADHD. I can see that she is also experiencing issues with anxiety and controlling her mood. It sounds like a difficult time for you both.

You mentioned that you are specifically looking for advice around the strategies to use to support your daughter in relation to her ADHD. To help with this, you may find it helpful to contact the below organisation, who specialise in supporting children with ADHD and their families:

ADDISS - The National Attention Deficit Disorder Information and Support Service

Provides information and resources about ADHD and the variety of approaches that can help: //www.addiss.co.uk Phone: 020 8952 2800

In the meantime, I would recommend keeping communication open with your daughter and making her aware that you are there to talk to her about how she is feeling. One technique in particular that I would recommend trying is using a worry box for your child to express their thoughts and worries by putting them into written words, pictures and paintings, which can then be contained within the worry box, see the ‘What can help’ section of our Anxiety resource sheet for further details around this: youngminds.org.uk/media/3673/anxiety-updated-dec-2019.pdf

The pastoral team/SENCO at your daughter’s school may also be able to advise you or have the knowledge of services that can help, so if you have not already done so I would recommend discussing this with them.
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StevieYoungMinds · 08/10/2020 13:34

@lillypopdaisyduke

How do you look out for signs of depression in a child (age 8) DS1 had been scratching his arms - I am worried it's the beginning of self harm - I have spent lots of time with cuddles and reassurance. I want to see if this will improve -or is early intervention better ?

Hi @lillypopdaisyduke

I understand that you have concerns for your 8-year-old son who is scratching his arms and I can appreciate that you are worried about him at this time. As a first step it is important to try and understand why he is scratching his arms and explore what is underlying this, for example it may be a way to relieve anxiety, it could be a physical irritation on his skin or it could be a way to express how he is feeling.

It sounds like you are doing a fantastic job at providing your son with lots of reassurance, cuddles and quality time – which are all key in helping him feel more secure and comforted. It may be helpful to speak to your son’s school about your concerns, to see whether they have noticed anything and encourage them to keep a closer eye on him. Often it is best to flag any worries you may have at the earliest opportunity, so that you can explore whether your son may need more support. I would also advise you to arrange an appointment with your GP, here you can discuss your concerns and rule out any physical problems which may be causing him to scratch his arms. The GP can also explore whether any other local services that offer support for young people's emotional wellbeing may be helpful.

I hope you find this information useful. If you would like to talk about your concerns in more depth please do not hesitate to contact our Parents Helpline: youngminds.org.uk/find-help/for-parents/parents-helpline/
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