Are you looking to return to work after 2 or more years out? Or have you returned to work after a career break?

[EmmaMumsnet]

Returning to work after an extended career break can be really difficult. At MNHQ we are interested in finding out the barriers that parents face when returning to work after having 2 or more years out. We’d love to hear from those of you who are looking to return to work after a break and those who have returned to work after 2 or more years out.

There are numerous barriers that can affect parents returning to work, from work/life balance and childcare costs to difficulties interviewing and lack of confidence. Please post on this thread the issues you have faced when looking for work after a career break of 2 or more years, whether you ended up returning or not.

Are you put off even attempting to go back to work even if you wanted to? If you have tried and didn’t manage to get back to work please share why you think this was? If you were successful returning to your sector after a long break please share your tips for how you managed this.

We are interested in talking to a few Mumsnetters about their experiences of returning to work after a 2 or more year break. If you’d be happy to be contacted about this please fill in this form whether you have returned to work or not and we will be in touch.

Thanks

MNHQ

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[mumof3boys33]

I feel I made the wrong career choice in my teens. I don’t know what I was thinking. I decided I didn’t need qualifications at school to do the job I wanted (horses) so I didn’t bother with school.
I worked with horses from age 16 to 22 I did enjoy those years and gained many horse related qualifications.
When I had my youngest I gave up work, then had 2 more children (fairly spread out in age) altogether I stayed at home for 13 years.
I have since then taken on cleaning jobs, dog walking, the odd bit of holiday cover with horses.
I would love a good job, I don’t mind starting from the bottom, but who would employ me? I made a bad decision many years ago, so my only qualifications are with horses. I am not interested in horses now.
I have never worked in a shop, office or anywhere else really. As I’m heading towards 50 I feel stuck. I have a 9 year old so ideally I would like to work around school as much as possible. Paying for childcare takes most of anything I’d earn, especially as I’d be on minimum wage. I definitely regret my choices as a teenager. But I try not to dwell on the past.

[BlitzenandMikey]

Have you thought of retraining for something mumof3boys? You can get student loans to cover training costs. Or maybe study something at your local college? It’s hard I agree. I’ve made plenty of poor decisions in the past. Feeling prettty stuck myself at the moment. Nothing I’ve ever done counts for ANYTHING in applying for. I can actually see myself on the scrap heap for the foreseeable future!

[lhubb5616]

Thinking of going back to work is really getting me down at the moment, confidence is at an all-time low about it

Been away from work for over 3 years with DD. I had a job I liked before leaving (maths based) but moved since then so going back to that type of work won't be possible. I feel that I either have to find a job that works around school but I won't find fulfilling, or a job that I enjoy that'll mean I hardly ever see DD.

Doesn't help that I have absolutely no idea what job I want to do. Whenever I find a career idea that I like the sound of, people just seem to list a bunch of negatives to me which puts me off (mainly due to the confidence issue).

Probably not a very helpful post for others, but it's made me feel a bit better reading people's posts on here that have come out the other side.

[mumof3boys33]

Yes Blitzen I have thought of retraining. It's about an hours drive to our local college which is annoying. But if I found something I wanted to do I would work round the commute and pay for childcare if necessary. I have had a look at courses but couldn't really see anything I want to do. But it's only a small college. Maybe I should look further afield. I have no idea where to start really. I'd also be worried everyone would be young too. I'm not very confident but I probably just need a kick up the backside.

[OCSock]

I was an old parent, but a highly paid and sought after freelance. After six months, I hired a nanny and went back to work three days a week. But as I was self employed, my childcare costs were not allowable against income, so after three years of running myself into the ground to keep under one-third of my earnings, I decided to retain as a teacher. Then DH was seriously ill; that took up a couple of years, after which I completed my PGCE. When I qualified, my subject was dropped from its small mandatory % of the curriculum and the jobs dried up, unless we were prepared to uproot our family, and the family business which puts food on the table of six families for one person. In this area, there's not much call for my original skills and my old (global) business landscape has been remodelled by technology and the digital economy. So, at nearly 62, I am effectively 'retired' despite being five years from retirement age. I'm not enthralled with the idea of working in a charity shop or giving free hours to the National Trust.

[Mermaid36]

As a mum to twins, childcare costs are completely out of budget for full time work. They would be my entire wage and part of my partners (for context), and that doesn't include the fuel costs etc.
I requested part time hours but it was refused and they said it was full time or nothing, so I had to hand my notice in.

One of my girls has also been in and out of hospital for the last year, and I would have needed over 16 weeks off work in the last 12 months. I can't see any employer supporting that level of absence.

[VaselineOnToast]

For me, the difficulties have been a lack of jobs in my field in general (thanks to austerity measures and centralisation of services/staff), a lack of suitable hours (our childcare situation and DH's job mean I could only manage to work 2 days at the moment), and not wanting to overburden grandparents with childcare responsibilities (nursery/childminders are not feasible for us right now).

I went through a period of believing my email account was broken, since I was not hearing back about any job applications. It's hugely frustrating.

[TheVeryHungryDieter]

I left my former career during the credit crunch. It was and is a very competitive area and after a bout of bullying and some career wrong turns (sidelined into an area I didn't want and couldn't get out of) I lost my confidence in 2008 and didn't apply for a new contract in the same industry. Went travelling and bummed around for a bit. Volunteered in the family business of a parent with cancer. Got pregnant and had a baby.

Ten years later, I've just completed my first year working in it again. I was lucky enough to find out about a Returners course for people in my old career. Actually I found out about it in a really weird way. DH and I had a massive falling out a few years ago that lasted a few weeks of separate bedrooms etc and during it I went to see a family solicitor. We got to chatting once we'd gone through the forms. She had a friend who had done this back to work course so she gave me the details. (DH and I patched things up and have been rock solid ever since, but she helped me more in a free half-hour session than she'll ever know.)

The course itself was great. Two days of networking, cv clinics, interview practice, lots of speakers who had returned after a long break, and a jobs showcase. Most attendees were women who had children, some were career changers, some had a long illness to recover from etc. I didn't feel confident enough to return straight into that career, knowing I had a massive knowledge gap, but the jobs showcase was a panel of people doing other jobs that were similar if not the same, to show you how you could widen your job search using your existing experience. From that I also learned some really important points about focusing on what you can do, and what you're good at, not what you don't know. For example once I properly focused on it I realised that I'm really good at research and data. I can make information jump through hoops and I'm good at pulling out key points and building a case for or against from a load of paperwork. So I could target my job search towards jobs that required some evaluation and analysis of information. I'd spent so many years thinking "I'm not good enough for X" that I'd never once considered I might be a good fit for Y.

Once I had a direction to go in, and the discovery of a skill that I had, and some cv help, I felt fired up enough to go for it. I spent some time researching the kind of job I'd be suited to and found some job descriptions I felt I could do pretty easily, to get my confidence up.

I took a job like that on a part time basis for three years. DH was against it at first, very much so. He came around eventually but his opposition to it just pushed me harder. I sorted childcare relatively easily, but it consumed my entire wage until I could get the nursery funded hours. Not very well paid (entry level) but it was in a field that I really wanted to work in, so I was happy to take it as a learning role. My then-manager was very supportive especially throughout my second pregnancy and return after mat leave. That organisation had a restructure that went badly wrong and even though I landed one of the new roles, the environment was toxic. But now I had work experience, industry experience, recent experience of applying for [my own!] job, and I was ready to move on.

I will say that after I got news I was called for interview at my dream job, I had fantastic support from a couple of older and more senior women I'd met at my first company who coached me, used their contacts to give me helpful information on my now-employer, and were my cheerleaders all the way. One had worked there years before, another had recently applied for my current job and she knew the interview process. I got the job and a £10k uplift in salary. I'm a year into this role and I love what I do.

From the lawyer who gave me the tip and never charged me for her time, to the manager who believed in me when I started work after a long career gap and supported me when I returned with PND, to the more senior women who coached me and gave me information to help me land my current job, I have had support from women I look up to all the way. If they could do it - with, variously, children and depression and years out of the workforce - then so could I.

And I've since come to think that's why diversity in hiring is so important. You see people who've been where you are and are out the other side.

[PKenn]

I work for myself as a freelance business psychologist/assessor and have done so for 17 years. My son is 15 so I started doing this before I had him and never thought I'd stick at this so long. I have now run out of steam. The constant need to develop business, sell myself, network etc - eeuughh but I'm afraid at the age of 57 I am very unemployable. I am now thinking about doing something homebased or even via the the internet. It's a constant grind to keep reinventing yourself but it's the same for everyone - you must keep your skills and profile up to date.

[MiddleagedManic]

Desperate to have a career again. But, I have a school aged child with medical issues so good to be nearby but also, trying to find something term time or school hours is impossible for a job with career prospects/similar to what did before. DH has a commute of 40-60 mins each way and we have no free child care available.
Frustrates and annoys me every day and in the meantime my skill set is getting old/running low.

[musicalprof]

I was a teacher before my first child arrived after 12 years of marriage. Unfortunately, she is disabled, with complex needs & that was the end of my teaching career, the only job I ever wanted to do. Having been a teacher has helped enormously with picking my way through the minefield that is SEN, but I now feel unable to return to the classroom. What I am now involved in is a Club for women wanting to become more IT literate & we have found that the greatest issue with those who have a career break is low self-confidence & low self-esteem - something that I can definitely relate to. The Club gives members a chance to gain new knowledge & skills, but also do things like practise presentation skills. I think the women feel empowered.

[Parrish]

I keep getting rejected. I am qualified in two industries and used to be a Team leader. But no recent paid experience and I keep getting knocked back. What is really angering me is the number of adverts for early career applicants or recent graduates and absolutely nowhere does it say “career returners please apply”. Even though there’s a shortage. Even though other industries seem to be able to do it.

[goodomens830]

I took a 6 year break after having my youngest. I felt it was important to be with my children at that stage. I felt it equally important to go back to work, and it felt like the right time. Both children were in full time school, and I honestly needed SOMETHING to do. Adult conversation. It wasn't (and still isn't) easy. But I'm glad I've gone back. I work part time, so it's easier to fit the hours around my family.

[ohh]

Its either full time or nothing for me. Its a really mean situation as DS has SEN.

So I might as well give up working all together and work in menial jobs when they are older, its do frustrating! I love my children but is there more......

[TimeToDash]

I'm thinking about it as my youngest is 8 now. I don't need to work but it I haven't worked since before my 10 year old was born and it would be nice to work part time as I feel like keeping busy, but not sure what to do! Previously I ran a very busy company but I am so out of touch now! Thinking of doing something completely different. Confidence is a thing though!

[mumof2kiddos]

After a gap of 8 long years (plus another year of maternity leave) I have again gone back to work. Earlier I was in IT in a middle management role, working as a Business Analyst/Project Manager. I left job when I was 37. During my break in the 6th year I went on to do a Masters degree but in a totally new subject in Environmental Management. I really didnt want to get back to IT as I knew things have moved ahead a lot in that time period. However I was VERY sceptical of getting ANY relevant job as I knew I would have to start from the scratch again but I still slogged on as I knew I had to do something. By the grace of god I did get an offer from a very reputable company in this field even before I submitted my dissertation and I am happy with how things are panning out. However I must admit that at 45, I am now earning what I was earning 15 years ago, working with colleagues 20 years younger than me at my level (Graduate) and dont have too much career ambition at this age. Although I am extremely grateful to have this job, however sometimes I do feel that probably I am the oldest Graduate in the history (now 45)!

[nicslackey]

I was out of work for 11 years as a single mum and could only see the obstacles to going to work. I went on a 2 week work experience through Gingerbread set up through the job centre which was a huge confidence boost. I got help with my cv from them as well and am loving being in full time employment in the civil service for almost 10 years now. It is is good to know that my dc saw me at home when he needed me but then had a good example of a work ethic when it mattered. I was so lucky with the timing.

[FuelledByButter]

I taught primary before having children. When youngest was 1-2 I did a bit of seasonal cover in supermarkets for a bit of money of my own and to help with household costs.
Later I got a 12hr permanent job in supermarket at the weekend as this fitted well with DPs weekday hours.
Then we split. I carried on a a bit more hours doing Friday Saturday Sunday's when he had the kids. I thought that when we were more settled I'd get some office job with the possibility of working my way up. Ha!
I looked at going back to teaching but by then I'd been out of the profession for 15 years and felt I'd have to get some updating or volunteer in a school for a while. The training would cost money, be full time and therefore I'd have to leave my permanent job with the chance of not getting a teaching job at the end of it. I hadn't wanted to go back to teaching anyway as I found it very stressful and heard really bad things about the droves leaving. I thought having youngish children and going back to teaching full time would be extremely stressful. I was scared. I decided against going back to teaching.
I looked for other jobs and went to a careers advice person who advised me to go on an IT course. Because I worked I had to pay for this. £300 for the initial introductory ECDL course. The next part would have been around £600. I didn't think I could afford the second part, it would also require me to buy a laptop to do the homework on. I didn't think I could afford all of that.
I got a few interviews but no job offers.
ExDP got made redundant and I suddenly had full parental and financial responsibility and went full time at the supermarket.
I feel completely stuck now. I am educated to a post graduate level but nobody wants a 50something who isn't a dab hand on a computer. I try to comfort myself with thinking there's dignity in labour and I do enjoy some aspects of my job but I'm dying slowly inside there. It's also quite hard physically and the thought of working there until I'm 67 is worrying.

[JanetJacket77]

The types of jobs in my level are on a shift basis which is a nightmare as i need to arrange childcare.

I need to pay childcare fees in advance and zero hours or temp or bank/casual positions are a nightmare.

The jobs id like ask for experience but even voluntary roles for what id like to do ask for experience!! Chicken or the egg?!

Jobs not stating days and hours of job.

Employers dont want to bother training or offer a good employment contract. Its all very vague when i need security and predictability to afford and arrange childcare.

[Wishmeluck2018]

It is so awful to be stuck at forty and fifty something, too old to be employable but far from retirement, still got mortgage and bills to pay. Worrying for not having enough pension because you are not earning or not earn enough to save.

[bigbadwolvesnextdoor]

Just read the whole thread as I've seen a job that I'd love to do (via a linked in email)

The job sounds like a previous role I had that I loved ( I was made redundant when my old company went abroad )

It just makes me sad that I won't get given a chance, as I have had 2 years off with my DC. Also job requires travel and so I know they are unlikely to consider me.

My DH works in an industry with very long irregular hours and therefore would not be able to do childcare drop offs or collections. My parents are 2 hrs away, but would do 1 day childcare, although I think they would struggle to cope ( very old fashioned) . DHs mum is still working. DHs Dad is not about.

I feel like I want to apply and I know I can do the job. Would be a good salary. But how can I convince them I'd be dedicated and then say I need flexible hours / need to come in late / leave early to collect my child. Plus with no DH support at home how would I make up the time? I just see it being so stressful and I would truly miss out on my little boy ( although I love working) I would want my home time to be concentrated on my DC not checking emails.

I've been interviewed for 3 jobs good jobs since having my timeout for DC. Funnily I am always in the last 2 but no offer. I can't ask about the other applicant, they may have been better than me but I expect they don't want to risk taking someone on having a gap and a young child. I am prob being negative, I feel a bit jaded but I'm stuck as I want to work but I feel like I don't have the opportunity.

My career job would mean travel to London and local admin type jobs don't pay enough to cover childcare (plus they are like gold dust here in the shires)

[Kikidelivers]

FuelledByButter

The ECDL course you did... did you rate it highly? Useful? I’m considering. TIA

[FlukeSkyeRunner]

I've had a break of 9 years. I'm hoping to start part time work in a few months in an entirely different field. I only have this opportunity because I know someone who has offered me the job - there is no way anyone else would employ me to do the job as I have no relevant experience. But it suits me, will fit around the school run etc and is something I am passionate about. I am very well blessed - DH earns a good salary so I can follow my heart on this instead of having to maximise my income. After so long out of the workplace I really feel I need to do something now before I lose confidence, and as this chance had fallen into my lap without me going looking for it I would be daft not to take it! There is the potential for it to develop into full time of I want it to.

[FatherMackenzie]

I’ve had a break of 3 years, after being made redundant while on maternity leave with dc1. I’ve jusy had dc2 and am now thinking about what to do to get back to work.

The problem for me is that dh and I immediately moved to the other end of the country with his job after we graduated university. He was on a graduate scheme, which involved moving about a lot in the first few years. So I just had to take whatever job I could find. With my slightly vague degree, (a European modern language and politics), all I seemed to be able to find were a variety of basic admin jobs.

Now I’ve been out of work so long, I actually am worried that I won’t even be considered for those anymore. I struggled to find a job after our last move, (to SE England, where we’ve now settled to be near dh’s company’s big office in west London). When I finally did, I did quite well and got promoted, but then was made redundant.

I don’t actually think confidence in my own abilities is a particular issue for me. I know I can do basic admin. The problems now are;

1. getting a job in such a competitive market - pretty much everyone is qualified for basic admin, so that means the market for candidates is flooded
   
2. practical issues, like finding time to update cv, brush up on skills and attend interviews or meetings with recruitment agencies. We have NO family support and dh works full time
   
3. do I really want to start again in a basic admin job? I don’t know that I do, although I’d be happy enough if I got one.
   
   I’m thinking now about retraining for a job in something like IT. But I obviously don’t want to waste time and money doing this, unless I’m going to be able to find a job at the end of it all. I’ve looked into conversion masters courses in IT, but (hilariously) some of the TRAINING COURSES require previous work experience. Fucks sake. If I had a job in IT, I wouldn’t need to train for a career move to IT. I’ve found a few which don’t require this, but I’d need to travel to attend those courses, which would mean leaving the dcs in nursery while I went to university. So expensive.

[yomellamoHelly]

14 years out. Really helped that I knew 4 months before starting, so was able to plan childcare / logistics. Has also really helped being in school hours job. 18 months in and I'm really ready for more (LOVE working), though need to wait another year when the worst of the childcare juggle will have settled and I'm able to commit to it properly.