Mums of kids with ASD/ PDA doing GCSE's let's get through this together..

[funkystars123]

Hi,

My daughter is doing her GCSE's next year... mocks in a week..


The anxiety is building! We are in full on demand avoidance but she wants to do brilliantly in them all...

My son has ADHD and ASD and did his a couple of yrs ago.. was a complex post covid shit show but he passed English and Maths and now is doing ok on a BTEC so I know GCSE's are not the only way...

Anyone else around who wants to handold/ chat about this journey?

[QuickFetchTheCoffee]

I have kept an eye on this thread because I had loads of issues with DD last year but when I found the GCSE handholding thread it was mainly NTs and my post was ignored utterly. Hope you get people taking you up on it later though.

[SiouxsieSiouxStiletto]

Offering you a handhold @funkystars123

The mocks triggered DD so much this time last year that she finally got a referral for assessment. Up until the mocks she'd always been able to mask out of the house.

[Chaotica]

Handhold from me too. DD is in A level year this year. One thing she realised late in GCSEs was that practice and revision would help, and also that getting her parents to help with revision would improve things too (it is totally alien for her to ask for help). There were all sorts of bits she hadn't learned because of covid but initially she just got them wrong or missed them out. PDA and/or ADHD traits meant that she didn't sit down to work for hours even when she wanted to.

[MumsGoneToIceland]

Hello, I’ve just found this thread. My dd is also in her GCSE year and I have suspected she may have ADHD for a while now but haven’t been able to get my schooll to support my suspicions. The biggest concerns are anxiety and memory retention (her mind is just blank opinion exams, she can’t retrieve the information) - she revises so hard and i help her and it just doesn’t stick. I’m interested in your experiences please and whether any specific techniques have helped your dc or if any of your dc take medication and whether it helps. Right now, I’m worried she won’t pass anything and she is getting despondent already that she is working hard and it’s not paying off and is starting to give up. Thank you

[cockneysalad]

My daughter is sitting her GCSE’s next year as well. We have been with CAMHS for well over a year now filling out forms, meetings seeing a psychologist and finally they have said they will put her forward for a formal ASD assessment but the waiting list is over a year.

School have been frankly terrible, staff change and I have to keep reminding them she is autistic and because it’s a large school she falls off the radar. I have been asking about the possibly of her getting extra time and quiet room to do her GCSE’s in, the psychologist report, which the school have been sent a copy of it does say she would benefit from a quiet environment and no distractions amongst other things. My daughter has also been asking for extra time and a quiet room as well

A teaching assistant, not a teacher or member of SENCO, has told her she can’t have extra time or be in a room because she hasn’t had a formal diagnosis and it is only possible to give these to children who have had a formal diagnosis. My daughter has mocks on Monday and this information has caused a massive melt down and I doubt I’ll be able to get her into school for her mocks. We were hoping to have something in place for her mocks but the school have completely ignored us.

Are any of your children having things put in place by the school for GCSE’s? Is it true that you have to have a formal diagnosis to have any support? This seems quite ridiculous considering the wait times? Does anyone have any advice please?

[QuickFetchTheCoffee]

@cockneysalad no your DD doesn't need a diagnosis to get Exam Access Arrangements.

The British Dyslexia Association says this for example:

A learner does not need a diagnosis of a learning difficulty, including dyslexia, to receive Access Arrangements. A diagnosis of dyslexia will not mean automatic Exam Access Arrangements - it is the evidence of the student's needs in their normal learning situation which is most important.

The school needs to cooperate. Your DD will need to sit a few tests to see what arrangements she might need, and the school should provide supporting evidence to say she needs these kinds of considerations. Good luck!

[cockneysalad]

@QuickFetchTheCoffee thank you so much for your help.

[Johnny5IsStillAlive]

Certain arrangements like being a a smaller room are up to the discretion of the school. Mind you it won’t be a quiet room as there likely will be other students there having the questions read out to them. Extra time is something the shool needs to apply for and they need to show evidence backing up the request

[cockneysalad]

@Johnny5IsStillAlive This is really helpful because the school are standing firm saying she has to have an assessment, I am going to push back on this with all my might.

[Johnny5IsStillAlive]

Has your daughter displayed high anxiety in school before at previous test or just generally in Class, Does she have any pending assessments or referrals ? Obviously at this time of year the school gets a lot of msg about students being anxious so the more evidence you have the better. Acces arrangements need to be sorted I think a month before the GCSE exams. So you do have time to sort things out

[funkystars123]

Hi all,

Sorry I havn't been back... tough few weeks here. She got through mocks but had a bad maths result which had thrown her and is really struggling with the idea of having to chdnfe schools. We have had tears tonight afrer a 6th form opem eve. It really is just to much at once for her at the moment.

[hamletomelette]

Hi all.
We've just been through mocks. Revision at home just didn't happen bcos I need to drive it completely and all my energy has been used on crises with younger siblings these past few weeks.

Feel awful about it. On the plus side he seems to have passed a couple so far with no home revision so we have a good starting point.

When we revised last year we managed 10-15 minute per day a few days a week. Not sure how this will work out now there are so many more subjects and exams. And refusal and avoidance lurks around every corner.

[FancyAnOlive]

My dd is in Y11 with mocks in January. She has Adhd, ASC and OCD and is in complete denial about what she is going to do. Can't revise and insists she is going to do Science A levels. She would need 6 in Maths GCSE and 6-7 in Science as I really think she needs to stay at her school, but is predicted 4s and 5s so a long way off! Honestly I am finding this so stressful it is keeping me awake and I can't sleep. She has missed quite a bit of Y10 too and her mental health is shit. I can't talk to her about what she is going to apply to do as she melts down. Options are other subjects, possible as predicted better grades in social scienc-y things (will not contemplate) or one A level and a BTEC in Applied Science (not the extended one, the one that is the equivalent of two A levels). She refuses to contemplate this either.

[hamletomelette]

@FancyAnOlive ah that's hard.

We found a vocational course with different entry levels (so level 1,2 and 3) so fingers crossed will get in to the general subject area at some level whatever marks he gets. Which is lucky cos changing his mind would be similarly hard.

Any chance at all something like that could work? So a course based in science and called science but not an a level? Just a thought.

[Tinkerbell36]

Hi not hear 11 but year 10 with adhd so hope you don’t mind me joining. Just had his exam results and despite really trying to revise through half terms he didn’t do great and is so disappointed. I’ve been looking at our local sixth form at the more vocational equivalents which I think would be better for him. It’s all so worrying!

[FancyAnOlive]

@hamletomelette I am beginning to think that the BTEC would be the best thing for her to do, so she is still studying Science but I know she is obsessed with status and will see this as embarrassing and 'lesser than'. I have done lots of research and she could still do Science at University if she did a foundation year which quite a few offer. Good grades in a BTEC and one A level could get her in to that.

[FancyAnOlive]

Dd has just failed her maths mock really quite catastrophically. A handful of marks and no better than six months ago despite 3 hours of tuition and so much hard work and revision. I am so sad for her. She is absolutely devastated.

[Chaotica]

@FancyAnOlive

Dd has just failed her maths mock really quite catastrophically. A handful of marks and no better than six months ago despite 3 hours of tuition and so much hard work and revision. I am so sad for her. She is absolutely devastated.

Sorry to hear that. We're waiting for mock results for DS (who is NT but really resistant to GCSE demands and who struggles massively with maths, so he can't do sciences even though he likes them). It's hard to keep him motivated through it all. I don't know how to address it because his predicted grades just go down and he's stopped caring. It cheered him up to be able to tell people that he got a 9 in maths... only to reveal that it was 9%.

Tell your DD not to be despondent about it. Is she doing foundation level? We swapped DS last year and it has made a difference - I still don't know whether he'll pass, but he has a better chance.

[FancyAnOlive]

How were the mock results? Here my dd has finally realised Science A levels are out of reach and has decided she wants to do an Applied Science BTEC instead. And because she can do the BTEC with a 4 she has also agreed to drop down to Foundation maths, though I think she's quite upset about this too. But I feel quite relieved!

[Mindovermatter247]

DS is struggling massively, everyday is a struggle to even get him to school. I’m trying to get him to concentrate on maths, English and creative media as that’s what he wants to do at college ( he got an offer) and needs the grades in English and maths, I’m not worried about English as he’s in top group for that and he absolutely fine, maths however is the problem, he hates maths, always has, he’s having issues with his teacher so I’m not sure he’s gonna for to well. The other courses he took were only because he had too. Personally I don’t believe in exams, especially in neurodiverse people. DS is getting himself in a tizzy everyday and tbh im not sure how we are gonna get him in to do them.

[FancyAnOlive]

@Mindovermatter247 your poor ds. Exams are so vile and stressful. Dd just cannot do the maths either.

[cockneysalad]

I want to thank everyone on here who gave advice about getting my daughter some extra support. I spoke to the school and held firm, they did the tests and decided she qualified for extra time. Obviously this was no surprise to me. We are delighted about it and my daughter said that she will have time to complete the papers now and maybe even check some of them.

We are starting another round of mocks and the stress and anxiety is high. I think she is going in a quieter room for her exams now. It’s so hard isn’t it, like pp’s have said exams are not the best for neurodivergent children.

My daughter has said she is leaving the school, won’t be doing A levels even though she is very capable she can’t stand it any longer.

[funkystars123]

Hi all... sorry I started this and then went a bit awol... life just so hectic.

We have just done second round of mocks... went ok so quite pleased.. am finding with my DD that she's coping with the e academic side ok but we are having lots of problems with dancing ( she's danced since she was 2 and is defiantly her safe place) and friends at school/ home...

Total opposite to my DS who is 2 yrs older.. he just completely gave up on school and failed all his GCSEs except for English and Maths.

At the time that was so upsetting and the future seemed so bleak but we have kept going with college and he's now doing well on a vehicle repair course. A completely different path than we ever expected but we have all had to adapt and we are..

I am so proud of my son for finding a new way forward in this world that doesn't support the neurodiverse as it should.

I just wanted to share his in case it's helpful for others.....

[MojoDojoCasaHouse]

My DD is really struggling in Year 11. Things haven't been this bad since Year 5 and then she ended up in a SEMH school for a year. Diagnosed at age 8 with ASD with PDA profile. Doing well socially but exams are a world of pain. She dropped one GCSE so she could focus on the others, fair enough. Intelligent enough to get 5s (maths and science foundation) and 6s in her others without any further work but just falls apart in exams. She's written off English lang and lit and won't sit the mocks despite being very capable in the subjects. Science and Geography looking good, maths should be OK (she has a private tutor). Best case scenario English doesn't happen but she does all right in her other subjects including the art related one she needs for art college. She can resit English when she doesn't have competing subjects. Or she could flunk the lot.

She has been suffering daily nausea from stress since last July and is regularly sick. Sometimes we have to collect from school because of it. No point pulling her out of school as it's the exams that are the issue. She likes being with her friends in school. End of June cannot come quickly enough.

[MojoDojoCasaHouse]

Lovely to hear about your son funkystars123. My DD just feels hopeless at the moment and scared about the future. I'm sure she will be happier in college.