Sorry, another rant about which school to send dd2 too next september.

[Marne]

I know that there are a lot of similar threads but i am really confused as to what to do for the best and you lot are the only people that understand.

Dd2 has ASD (as most of you know), i feel in the past 6 months she has come a long well, she has started to talk and can understand simple commands (put your shoes on, tidy up etc..), she has no behaviour problems and can sit still at a table to complete a task.

She does struggle in some areas, she is still sensitive to noise and touch (she reacts by covering her ears), she can go into her own little world and wonder around (sometimes flapping of spinning), her pencil control is poor, her language is limited but she is using PECS.

She try's to play with others, will run around with others and try to talk to others. Today she ran off with dd1 at school and played with dd1's friends in the play ground (this was great to see).

Last week i spoke to the Dep head of the local Special school and he feels that dd2 would be better off at the special school or do a few days at each (with use of out reach from the special school), i was a little shocked as we have been told that dd2 should go to main stream with 1:1 support.

Know i am really confused , since going to MS nursery dd2's speech has come a long so much as has her social skills, if i put her in a SN with other children with speech problems i feel her speech may not move forward , i feel that the nt children at nursery have been such a good help to dd2 (encouraging her to speak and play with them) and i want her to continue to improve her social skills.

On the other hand i don't want her to struggle at MS which could also slow down her progress. I don't want her to get picked on or hurt for being different. Her sister is doing well at school despite having Aspergers but i worry that the school knows nothing about ASD and may struggle to teach dd2.

I have a meeting with the ed phyc in a few weeks to talk about the options but i have no idea what to do for the best.

I also may have the option to keep her back a year but a few people have advised me not to do this.

Any advice greatfuly received?

Please tell me how your ASD children have got on in MS and SN, did you make the right decision?

[sickofsocalledexperts]

My ASD boy is in mainstream but he does have a helper with him all the time he's there, so I do understand your worries about bullying etc. I found that special school did not advance him at all - they set the expectations of him way too low. It was a stretch for me to get DS into mainstream , as he is sort of borderline, but I am very glad I did it as he is now reading, writing, counting, using computer etc. TBH, I would try mainstream first - it's a mainstream world she's going to end up in ultimately. And I wouldn't listen to the head of the special school - how well does he know DD and isn't it a case of a vested interest as he gets funds for every kid who attends?

[Marne]

Thats what i worry about (it not being advance enough for her) but when i said that to the head he looked at me as if i was putting the school down .

Dd2 can count to 20, knows her alphabet and has great problem solving skills, she would need a 1:1 to prompt her and help her with communication.

He has met dd2 3 or 4 times whilst we were on the early birds course last year (he run it and came to the house a couple times to video her). From what i have seen from the school it is a great school, over 60% of the children have ASD but a lot of them are on the other end of the spectrum (dd2 is more HFA).

The MS school is tiny (only 12 children in each year), most of the children there know dd2 as dd1 goes there.

[flyingmum]

She sounds pretty sparky. Also not having behaviour issues is a good thing. As the MS school is tiny it is tempting BUT tiny MS schools may have more vertical class structures (ie, year 2 in with year 3), also may struggle to find good quality TA. Your child's education will stand or fall from the quality of TA support and person. Quite often, particularly at primary, you get a 'mum's army' who are doing a 'little job while the kids are at school'. They are very variable in my experience. Some are very very good and you hit gold - brilliant. Others, however, are totally unrealistic as to what working in SEN means. They also gossip too (shouldn't but they do). It may be that the SEN school has more resources such as access to SALT and specialist therapists that could bring your child on so that in a couple of years she could move to MS.

Tricky one. I'd be tempted to do a mixture.

[Marne]

I am tempted to do a mixture and then see how she is getting on after a year.

The MS school seems to be ok with sn children from what i have seen, dd1 has a friend in class 2 who has 1:1 support all the time (in class and play time), there is also 2 TA per class (class 1 and 2). They have been great with dd1 and have given dd1 a helper to get her dressed for PE without me even asking.

[sickofsocalledexperts]

It is your legal right to ask for a mainstream education for DD, subject only to her being up to "appropriate for her needs" which can often mean is she up to it academically (which it sounds like she is given what you describe) and subject to it not disrupting the education of others (which she won't from the sound of it as she's not aggressive or noisy, which is usually what that clause covers). God I would love to find a ms school with that class size. My autistic DSD absolutely thrived in a mainstream village school, and is now at a ms secondary school without even an LSA as she has come on so well. That's partly why I always wanted to try the mainstream route for DS. This head really only wants to drum up business, don't listen to him, do what you think is right.

[thecloudhopper]

I would go for mainstream for now with 1-1 support as I think it would be good for your child and the other children, with her langugae development if being in a mainstream nursery has helped her then school should do the same. Also later on if her needs were not being met then I would perhaps look at special school PT. Also incution is the buzz these days.