Teachers can be bitches too, God help our sn kids

[mamadadawahwah]

Just read a thread about one mothers experience regarding child's school and negative reaction she got from an obviously twisted administrator.

When i was young we moved a lot due to father being in the forces. I distinctly remember a grade two teacher (in the U.S.) who pulled me in to her class at the age of six because every time i passed her class i looked in the doorway.

On this day, i was just passing and doing my usual nosy at her doorway and she forcibly grabbed me, put me in front of the class and said now what do you see!! I started to wet my pants cause everyone was afraid of this teacher. (this was in the mid 60's) She then made me stand in the corner facing the wall while the whole class of grade two kids (i was only grade one) looked and sniggered. After 15 minutes she told me to go to the principals office and explain what i had done. Instead, i beaked off school and ran home to my mother who was absolutely flabbergasted. The rest is history, but i wonder what effect that would have had on an SN kid.

My point being is that there are mentally deranged teachers out there even today. Ok, its not as easy to do what that teacher did to me, but inappropriate treatment by a teacher might be much more secretive and insidious than it was 40 years ago. How would a special needs child know what to do if they can't communicate effectively?

Im not saying there are lots of teachers like this but they are part of the general population and like everyone else, have their quirks.

My son is too young for school, and I am so worried he wont get the treatment he deserves. Do parents out there with SN kids visit the school often and what reaction do you get if you do this??

many thanks

[hercules]

Teachers are observed a lot nowadays and whilst I'm sure there are lots of awful teachers out there, I've never met one who was nasty.
It's not the sort of job people last in unless they enjoy it.
There are of course male teachers as well.

[Yorkiegirl]

Message withdrawn

[mamadadawahwah]

Only teachers i ever had a problem with or had a problem with me have been female. (part of this is fact went to a convent school) Yes, some major bitches there. Would it have made a diff if i clarified bitches as opposed to bastards?

do we have to get into the PC thing here?
Obviously people have encountered terrible situations from teachers. I did not say all teachers are like this or even many of them. Special needs kids are vulnerable and can be singled out by the minority, however small, of teachers who dont have their heads screwed on right. There is no need for teachers to get their back up about their abilities and how good they are or how good the system is in general. Well, if they want to they can, but this thread is about teachers who treat kids badly. It does go on, its not about tarring anybody. Well, it wasnt meant to be about tarring anybody.

If I say some doctors kill people on purpose, that stands as a fact. They do. Most dont, in fact the majority dont at least not intentionally) There are crap teachers and there are good ones. There are crap parents and there are good ones. My child may very well, not be able to speak by the time he reaches school. How am i going to know he is being treated fairly. Please re-read the thread.

[happymerryberries]

I'd have had no probelms if you had preficed it with 'some'.

[mamadadawahwah]

prefaced with "can be"

[mamadadawahwah]

there are threads of very obvious abuse here from a teacher, head, etc. Thus, it happens. Dont know what the statistics are. But its horrifying to think my son could end up being treated that way. He will only ever be out of my care whilst in school and I need complete trust in a school to respect him as a human being. There is no middle ground.

[happymerryberries]

But by inferece I am a teacher and you are thus saying I can be a bitch. Have you met me?

[pixiefish]

I'm a teacher and like everyone I can have good days and bad days. I do however ensure that I treat other peoples children in the same way as I want my dd to be treated. This is true for 99.9% of the teachers that I know.

Agree with hmb regarding the 'some' though as the thread title is IMO unfair. You can't tarnish a whole profession with the same brush

[mamadadawahwah]

Depends on how you define a "bitch". No i dont know you, and this isnt about you per se.
why are you making this personal? This thread isnt about you its about teachers who abuse kids.

Ok, point taken, maybe bitch was the wrong word, however, i was relating to a thread about a woman who encountered a brick wall from a a female administrator regarding her sn child.

Teachers do abuse kids. End of story. If they are women, in my view they are a bitch. If they are men, they are bastards. In my experience, its always been women. I know of what i speak, but forgive me for not being all encompassing in my condemnation of abusive teachers. Please insert "bastard" in the topic of the thread.

[Davros]

I don't really understand whay you're trying to say. Some people (who may be teachers) may do something sometimes but others may not. This could be true of parents (who may also be teachers), care workers, social workers, tutors, befrienders.........

[prunegirl]

Message withdrawn

[happymerryberries]

Parents abuse children. Would you be offended if I tarred you with the same brush as paedophiles?

I bet it would. I take shit all day at work. from kids who have been raised in crappy homes who don't know any better. I take it there. I'm a professional. However I expect better of adults on a group that I have respected over the years.

[pixiefish]

mamadadawahwah- regarding your worries- the only way that you will allay them is to visit the school, speak to the staff and other parents before enrolling your son. if you're not happy then do something before he starts.

We can't have parents in and out of school as they please though for reasons of safety and security as well as the kids education.

Schools are locked nowadays in response to the Dunblane tragedy. Also staff are under constant threat. Plus if the teachers are entertaining parents then who's going to teach the kids.

From what I can gather you can see his teacher at the start and end of every day when you collect him from school, you'll also see other parents- if there's something bad going on then you will find out

[prunegirl]

Message withdrawn

[mamadadawahwah]

How could you tar any parent who does not abuse children, by stating "parents can abuse children". They do, its a fact. Dogs can jump over a wall, boys can be troublesome, girls can get pregnant at 14. ???

[prunegirl]

Message withdrawn

[Davros]

.... dogs can jump over a wall.... so what IS the point of this thread?

[happymerryberries]

Because mama you are doing it to me! Daft isn't it!?

I know that most parents are wonedrful people who love their kids and want the best for them. I also know that some parents are slime who should have been sterilized at birth. But when I deal with parents I have to keep an open mind. And I would ask you to do the same when it comes to dealing with teachers. At the moment you take taking the awful things that happened to you are the near norm. It isn't. But if you go into school expecting teachers to be maniacs you may well not get them on your side.

After all we are only human. I'm not asking you to think that we are saints, we are not, but neither are we the damned....unless proved to be that way. All I am saying is cut the majority of us a break so that we can do the best job that we can.

[hercules]

I am hoping to get a job in a school for kids who have special needs. I'm certainly not doing it so I can prey on the weak and vulnerable....

[happymerryberries]

and I am trying to set up a nurture group in our school, that isn't because I am a bitch either....

[mamadadawahwah]

HMB, point taken. I agree and intend to do just that. but in light of my child who may well end up being an "sn" child, i fear that i am going to have to be soooo vigilant. Year ago, in my city, little girl tied up with tape onto a chair cause she wouldnt "shut up". No this is not the norm, and maybe its about me being afraid of my own anger if that happened to my son. I would probably go to jail for what i would do to that nursery school teacher!

[happymerryberries]

In the UK a teacher was struck off the teaching register for doing that a year or so ago. It would seam that we are monitored more closely than teachers in the US

[hercules]

I can understand your fears. You want to protect your child and once they are at school, you cannot be there all the time. What about becoming active in parent and teacher associations, helping out in the school, trips or even becoming a governer?

Most teachers are in it because they want to help.

[sparklymieow]

I remember one teacher at my primary school who washed a boy's mouth out with soap, because he swore. I know my parents used to threaten that, but I knoew they wouldn't actually do that, but this teacher actually did it and it was horrible to watch. I think he was sick afterwards
BUT I have no problems with DS's teachers and they have all been very understanding and helpful with his SNs. I think that bad teachers are few and far between TBH.

[Jimjams]

ds1's special school teachers are angels and do very very brave things like take him to cafes (we don't do things like that). His m/s teachers were clueless on the whole but they did try and they were certainly kind. I suspect on the whole you are safer with teachers than with Joe public as teachers do at least have regular experience of children with SN.