NT children LINING THINGS UP ....is it possible????

[MrsFROSTgetful]

Came down this morning to find a line of approx 30 video tapes going from thehallway- via the dining room and stopping at the kitchen door......each one perfectly straight.....in the hallway there was also a 'queue' of 4 large vehicles...and then several cuddly toys (ordered largest to smallest)....which touched the line of video tapes.

then as we all went in and out the room...everytime anything got slightly moved he was there adjusting it back to 'perfect'.....then when he went up stairs i deliberately turned one tape over so the label was face down...and moved one soft toy out of order.

he came down and (talking to himself....which he does alot lately) he corrected it all- then he got his fleecy blanket and covered over as much as he could.

then i went in the front room later and he had all the cushions (including the sofa seat pads) lined up through the lounget to the hall.


Now as you know - he has 2 AS brothers..... and neither have ever lined things up so obviously (ds2 likes 'repeating'patterns and building block towers etc....but never did anything like this!)

Wondering if the 'reason' ds3 is doing this so much at the moment is anything to do with the fact that he is such bl**dy hard work at home that i seem to be forever stopping him doing everything.....and at school he's been took out of assembly more than he's in it (yesterday it was because he was not sitting still [again]- then he said he was 'putting his fingers in other kid's noses[!?!]'...and in his words'i had to move so i could reach them'

I'm quite *issed off with the school at the moment as they have not 'spoken' to me about this latest assembly 'NO-NO'...nor about him spitting into loads of peoples hair...nor about him being sent to do his work in the Head teacher's office 4 times since christmas......i think he does need assessing....and can only assume that the taecher 'doesn't tell me these incedents' because she knows i will be pushing for an assessment


Just trying to see it a different way...is it possibble that despite 'punishing' him that the teacher is saying this is all 'trivial' and that's why she isn't telling me???? I laugh at that idea....as i think that poking fingers in others noses....along with spitting in their hair...should warrant 'at leaset' a word in my ear...but i honestly believe at his age (6 in may) that this behaviour is unacceptable- and a letter home sould have been sent- especially when since they went back in january he has been sent to The Head more than 7 times.

[coppertop]

I'm not sure about the lining-up (ds1 didn't do it but ds2 does) but I would've thought you would've been told about ds3 being sent to the Head so many times. Surely it would have made sense for them to speak to you, even if only to ask your opinion/advice on how to get him to behave?


Sorry but I have just LOL at the explanation about needing to move so that he could put his fingers up noses!

[MrsFROSTgetful]

I know- that 'moving to touch noses' to me just 'screams AS' - just like b4 xmas when he continued to go on the fiels/mud despite being told numerous times not to...he 'just liked how the mud feels mummy'....just feel that with AS the 'NEED TO DO' is greater than the 'NEED TO PLEASE'...if you see what i mean...but the teachers who don't know about AS just see him as 'defiant' (he's been called that by his teacher)

[coppertop]

You would think that with having 2 older brothers on the spectrum that the school would at least have considered the possibility of AS! I remember when I was wondering whether my concerns about ds2 were just my paranoia. The Paed told me that even if I hadn't made the request for an assessment that they would have "kept a close eye on him anyway".

The putting fingers up nostrils seems like the kind of thing ds2 might find interesting in the future. He's fascinated by that kind of thing.

[MrsFROSTgetful]

they just seem to want to 'save me worrying'..... i am trying so hard to keep myself 'restrained' and not make a fuss....so that THEY raise the issues with me....but i am an impulsive person....so restraining i don't do well!

if by the end of this schhol year- there is still no recognition of any possibility of ASD...then i am going to get someone like JAYSMUM is getting ....to come to the house for a WHOLE day....in the summer holidays.... i am not going to warn the boys...i want them to be unprepared etc....i want 'a day with the forgetfuls' documented....with 'A' being the focus....and the way that he appears ro deliberately annoy 'L' who then hurls his whole body at 'A' and so it goes on......

[Tiggiwinkle]

MrsF-I think I have mentioned before that I am having very simlar problems with my DSs school. The Clinical psyc told me this week that both she and her colleague, who has also seen DS, are certain he has AS-but we obviously have to wait for the full assessment in march for confirmation. His teacher, meanwhile, continues to label him as naughty, defiant, disobediant...she reminds me of the "ignorant" teacher in the "Fish out of Water" programme the other day .
Seriously, though, I am finding it increasingly difficult to work with her as she makes me so angry-communication becomes very difficult when you know someone is not even prepared to listen to you.

[MrsFROSTgetful]

so you are losing your tember too?
I feel so bad as i know deep down he doesn't mean to wind me up....but just feel that untill his probs are noted by school i will be dealing with all this the wrong way- as it's like he comes home 'full of it' and then saturdays are a nightmare....'if' i fully involve him in EVERTHING i am doing - and keep his attention (!!) then i can at least avoid him 'being naughty' as soon as my back's turned- but even then i still end up shouting....i felt so desparate the other day that i gave him a small dose of my ds1's ADHD medicine....it worked.
however i cried all evening as i know i was wrong....wonder if i should 'own up to someone' about it- would they take me more seriously....but i'm worried they would stop ds1 having the tablets as i can't be trusted

[JaysMum]

Sometimes Mrs F the schools try to just focus on the positive things children do.......personally I did not want to go into school first thing and have to explain to teacher that J had been up all night so would more than likely be a little monster for the day.....to be then told at the end of the day he had been fine.

When we would then get home ds1 would have a quiet word and say J got put on the naughty wall, or J had bitten the lunchtime supervisor, or J had been hiding in the toilets whilst having a screaming fit.

I would sit and cry my eyes out when J had gone to bed....dreading the next day....what was he going to do next, why were the teachers telling me all was well at school when I was hearing otherwise?????

If you really think that your little man is having difficulties then you know in your heart of hearts what you must do.

I sit here at night getting all my evidence ready for our big battle with the LHA and LEA and I cry myself crazy. I wish I had not been so bloody naive when J was smaller. I wish I had used the computer more and found sites like this, then my little guy would have been given a better chance in life than he has already had, simply because I would have been so much more knowledgable about ASD and how it affect children.

There is a school close by to us that is for children that have SPD. J would have been entitled to a placement at that school when he was 5.....but I didnt know it excisted. If I had not buried my head and instead had banged on doors like I am now, back then, how different J's early years at school would have been.

If your ds is having problems in school and is being taken out of lessons to do his work.....then there is a problem and it needs addressing. I know its hard....but can you make an appointment to speak with both the Head Teacher and the class teacher. You need to know why he is being removed from class....why he is being excluded from working with his peers.You also need to know what the school are proposing to do about this.

Better your son gets the help and support now and progresses in life with a good self opinion of himself rather than him going through school being labelled as the naughty kid who gets kicked out of class.

Thinking of youxxxxx

[KarenThirl]

Jaysmum - I know where you're coming from on the mixed messages from school. When my ds started Yr 1 I had a big meeting with his new class teacher on the first day, telling her that although Reception teachers had been telling me J was doing well, never a week went by without some child or other coming up to me in the yard and asking "Why is J so naughty all the time?". I've been shouting about J's obvious problems since he was two, but not a soul has taken any notice of me until now. We're lucky now to have two very dedicated teachers in Yr 1 who will give me feedback at the end of every day if I ask for it, and above all they're honest! The trouble is, I realise that I'll be unlikely to expect this next year and beyond, so I'm determined to get some answers before July.

K
x

[JaysMum]

The big problem I have with us parents having to go and have a word with teacher EVERY night after school is .....what does it do to our children's self image?
How many of their peers have Moms that are expected to hoover outside the classsroom door waiting to be told that little XXXX has been "naughty" again today. Our children are not fools they know they are ...for want of a different word....different simply because of this action alone.None of his class mates had to wait outside the classroom whilst I was being told J had curled up in a ball during music and barked for the whole duration of the lesson. How he had upset the whole class......what about the upset my son had experienced?....he hates noise....hes hypersensitive to noise....who comforted him whilst he retreated into his own little world and tried to block out the unwanted noise that was playing havoc with his senses?
ARGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Home school diaries are fantastic if the teacher uses them wisely. Good behaviour can be praised but little incidents can be recorded and then eventually a pattern of triggers can be identified as to why little XXXX is having such a bad time at school.

The problem you get is when the teachers cant be arsed to pander to the needs of the family!!!! or the only comments you get are good day/bad day.

Just sooooooo glad I took J out of mainstream.......

[JaysMum]

hoover.....tee hee....now have visions of me busily hoovering in the playground whilst waiting to have yet another bashing from the teach!!!!

I of course meant hover!!!!

Now in my dyslexic way I am sat here looking at hover....is that spelt write?....cant find the dictionary.....wish there was spell check here!!!!

[Tiggiwinkle]

Jaysmum-I have constantly heard about the "needs" of the class and the disruption to the class from my DSs teacher-both in relation to his disruption and at times extremely anxious behaviour. She could not care less about my DS or what he is going through. As I said earlier, she makes me so angry I can barely speak to the woman, because I know her mind is closed.
MrsF-if the school are so reluctant to recognise your DS3s difficulties, could you not get him assessed through your GP and CDC? The would then have to accept a diagnosis surely?