Will he cope at school

[Rosebel]

My DS is 3, 4 in June. Nursery have applied for his EHCP but only a few weeks ago. I'm terrified of how he'll cope at school. He's in nappies, non verbal, doesn't cope well with loud noise, lots of people, changing rooms. He's very stubborn, has meltdowns (although he's better than he was) and will only join in activities with lots of support.
How the hell will he/school cope? Nursery won't let him stay on even though at 4 he's still within the age bracket. What do I do? Can someone help me?

[Moriquendi]

This sounds very difficult for you and for your DS! Have you applied for a primary school place and had a meeting with the SENCO? Is the nursery attached to the school? Does your child have a method of communicating?

It is much easier for both the child and the school if they start school with the EHCP in place, the nursery have dropped the ball a bit by submitting it so late. It’s a bit of a shame they won’t let him stay on, especially with a summer birthday. Have they said why they won’t let him? Is there another nursery he could attend for a year? And then go into reception a year later with the EHCP in place?

A child I taught who had Autism and GDD didn’t have an EHCP in place by September. He ended up doing half-days with basically no academic learning until the EHCP was finalised and so the funding for a 1:1 TA was available. He transferred to a special school for Year 1.

He was actually very happy while in school, he was mostly out of the classroom doing his own thing with a TA. Could your son wear ear defenders to help with the noise? How does he do at nursery?

[Albertslittletie]

As your child is a summer born I would call the LA and ask the process about delaying reception start until next year and find a new nursery in the meantime! DS sounds similar to DD and that’s what we are doing.

[Headfirstintothewild]

Make sure the LA sticks to the EHCP timescales.

Have you spoken to the SENCO at the primary school? Request an enhanced transition. If they need additional funding to be able to meet DS’s needs they can request high needs top up funding.

[Rosebel]

Our most local school basically refused to accept him, they said he could attend but they wouldn't be able to meet his needs. Other two schools said he could attend but neither were happy about lack of EHCP (I'm not happy either considering I've been asking about EHCP since December and had the Senco telling me not to do it myself because it would be easier for her. God I wish I hadn't sent him to the nursery where I work).
The problem with changing nursery is he really struggles with change and takes ages to settle in somewhere and build a bond with staff.
I can't remember (although I'm sure it was a pretty crap) the reason they gave for not allowing him to stay at nursery for a year but I know they said he could only stay until Easter and then he'd need to be at school (but I'm not sure that's right, isn't it the term after they turn 5 not the term they turn 5).
In regards to nursery he does quite well but he has a bloody amazing key worker and all the staff in his room are fantastic with him. However, more recently especially if his key worker isn't there he does, get a bit ignored because he is a pretty happy child. He's not totally shut off from others but prefers solitary play or play with an adult. So he's sort of in his own world but still aware of people. Sorry I know I haven't explained that very well.
Obviously couple of weeks until school places are confirmed and I might be worrying for nothing but deep down both DH and I really think he won't cope. I'm going to have to give up work because he certainly won't cope with holiday clubs and if he needs a reduced time table or to be picked up early then my job isn't flexible enough to allow that (nor is DHs and as he earns slightly more than me it makes sense for me to stop working but I'm worried about money just an extra stress I could do without)

[Headfirstintothewild]

It would be wise to read up about the law now.

DS doesn’t have to be in full-time education until the term after he is 5. But, if you want the place offered for 24/25 he has to start by the beginning of the summer term at the latest, even if it is part time. Though that isn’t a reason why he can’t stay at nursery for the whole year. You would just have to reapply for a school place.

The primary schools cannot refuse DS on the basis he doesn’t have an EHCP. They must make their best endeavours to meet his SEN. If they need more funding to meet his needs they should apply for high needs top up funding.

Unless the school is formally suspending, they must not call you early to collect DS just because the school cannot cope. If they do you should refuse because it is an unlawful informal exclusion. Similarly for a part time timetable. If you want DS to attend full time, he can, unless the school is formally suspending. 

Are you claiming DLA for DS?

[Rosebel]

Yes. DS does get DLA.
That's interesting about them not being allowed to call me, although if he's having a full on meltdown they probably won't be able to cope and keep everyone safe.
We are looking at an enhanced transition for DS at the moment. Not for the schools benefit but for his but I'm not sure.
Feel like I'm constantly falling DS.