Starting school in 2017 support thread

[Frogandbear]

This thread is inspired by another thread where I was sharing my concerns about my DS starting school next year. Wouldn't it be great if those in the same boat could have a place to share their concerns and ask questions.

So let's introduce ourselves:

1. Tell us about your child
   
2. What type of school are you looking at for next year?
   
3. Have you applied for an EHCP? What stage of the process are you at?
   
4. Any concerns/questions you have
   

I'll go first

1. DS is 3 and a half - gorgeous, easy going and with a giggle that would fail to make anybody smile . He also has asd, is non verbal but his struggles outside of communication/interaction are relatively few. He is happy and marches to the beat of his own drum and that makes me happy too .
   

1. Having looked at what seems like every type of school possible, we have pretty much decided on a ms primary, although I would be open to home educating if that was required at the time.
   

1. Applied back in September....decision on whether to assess is LATE. Will be phoning SEN helpline tonight for advice on how to proceed.
   

1. EVERYTHING
   

Your turn

[WellTidy]

No idea why there is a question mak in my first sentence, sorry. And sorry for the essay too.

[HHH3]

brightbelle I named his nursery when I got the draft. I'll name a school at his next review which will be in April.

[Msqueen33]

I never thought my middle dd would settle. She honestly quite wild and had so many issues. The first year was tough but she's really doing well.

I'm trying to keep that in mind with dd3. Whilst trying not to have a breakdown. LEA are going to give her an ehcp but the process isn't likely to start until the end of Jan. I'm hoping that dd3 will have dd2s current LSA next year as that would put my mind at ease.

My aim at the moment is to get decent support and maybe add an ADHD diagnosis to her list as she's very hyperactive. Feels like it's one battle after another.

[LadyDowagerHatt]

Hi, can I join this thread, good to know I am not alone in all this!

My DD is 3.5 years and has a global development delay. We don't know any more than it is not ASD and it could be due to a genetic duplication.

She is currently in her second year at a playgroup who have been brilliant with her. I kept her there a second year as she has only been walking since February and is still a little unsteady so the big open space of a church hall playgroup suited her better than the freeflow classroom of the school nursery with a step to go outside, which she hasn't mastered yet.

I was hoping she would go mainstream with support but we were advised by early years intervention to go and look at a special needs school. It is for moderate to complex disabilities and is a lovely school with speech and language, physio etc all on tap and of course teachers who are well trained in special needs education. We thought we would be upset by the thought of sending her there but can see that she would be well supported and encouraged to reach her full potential. The one drawback is that as she is operating between 20 months and 30 months across her skills (with quite a spiky profile) she would be one of the more able pupils in the class and I am concerned that she wouldn't have the social interaction with her peers and the opportunity to learn from other children. Saying that if she went to MS, her language and physical skills would preclude her from a lot of the social interaction anyway. I'm finding it so hard, she seems to fall into this middle ground between SN and MS schooling and it seems that neither is quite right for her. I guess I just have to find the best fit.

On a more positive note we have just had our first ABA session - I wasn't sure how it would work as it is more used for children with ASD rather than learning disabilities but it seemed really effective for her language and she seemed to enjoy it.

[Msqueen33]

My dd is in a similar month bracket at the same age but we're opting for ms as no Sen provisions locally. Don't rule out mainstream. That said a good Sen school can be hard to get a place at. It's so hard to know where they will be in a year.

[Frogandbear]

Msqueen Really positive to hear about DD2. May I ask what she was like when she was 3?

WellTidy Do you have the option of part time reception? That way your DS could do ABA in the afternoons for another year.

[Msqueen33]

Oh god she was seriously wild! She would scream a lot, push other kids, couldn't share, would bite (thankfully mostly me but other kids on occasion), stripped off a lot, couldn't handle noise, couldn't wait her turn, ran off, couldn't concentrate on anything, delayed speech, rigid thinking, she liked structure but no obsessively so, mouthed stuff, repetitive play. I was the parent carrying my huge four year old on the school run to collect her sister. I got her and her younger sister a double buggy. She climbed on everything, jumped off everything. She has a lot of sensory issues. Some obsessions. She detested nursery. I'd probably say I'm fairly tough mentally (comes from having a very unsympathetic and not understanding mother) but she nearly broke me. I could never have imagined her in school and how they'd get her to learn. Her learning levels are slightly behind the other kids but being that she has both asd and ADHD and where she was at three/four I'm amazed and so proud of how far she has come. I'm hopeful that my youngest will be the same. She has a slightly different personality. Mainstream has so far worked as we've got a ft 1:1 who without she just wouldn't be able to attend. It's not all plain sailing as her anxiety makes life hard for her. But she's more able to be reasoned with, she plays a lot more properly and she speaks really well. We've always said as long as she is moving forward. And making progress against herself I'm not interested in a peer to peer comparison.

It still breaks my heart on a lot of days how much they both struggle but their bravery is amazing. Middle dd is hugely noise adverse and even a small noise sounds a million times louder but this year she went and watched the fireworks. I cuddled her half way through and you could tell she was hyper as she was nervous but I was amazed by her. Never did I think she'd come this far. I don't know whether she'll do all her schooling in mainstream but we'd like to think she will.

[WellTidy]

Frog I don't know about the possibility of DS attending reception part time. Whose decision is it? Ours, the school, or the LEA? I would imagine that there will be a push for him to attend school full time as he will be 5.4 yo starting. There will be a gradual intro though, as all ms schools for, do had would do a few weeks of part time. I would love for him to intinue his Aba as he is going so well in his programmes.

[HHH3]

WellTidy don't quote me on this because I'm not entirely sure...but I think it's up to the school. I think it can be recorded as something like 'educated off site' so it doesn't mess up their attendance stats. But from what I know it very much depends on the school. And it might depend on age too. I've known people do flexi schooling but on until they're statutory school age which obviously your DS will be. Not sure after that.

[HHH3]

*only

[HHH3]

Seen another school today. Same SENCO as the school I liked yesterday and a lovely school but not for DS. The classes were bigger and it was a lot noisier - he just wouldn't cope. Got a few more to see over the next couple of weeks but unless I find somewhere that has something really special then I still think I'm going to choose the one yesterday.

[Msqueen33]

Some of the schools are so big aren't they. Dd3 will be in an open plan class so there will be 60 kids. Apparently it's a big birth year here next year aswell.

Picked up dd2 from a club where she promptly had a meltdown over a santa toy they had in the reception but mainly as she's over tired and stressed. I'm going to chuck them into bed super early tonight.

[WellTidy]

Agree about the big school thing. Something that I noticed when I visited mainstream schools with DS2 in mind is the age of the building. Most schools near us are Victorian buildings, with classrooms not designed to fit 30 children. The schools which are more modern purpose built generally gave larger, brighter classrooms with breakout areas, free flow between reception classrooms and separate playgrounds depending on age, in mind.

The school I favour is entirely based on the approach of the head and senco, both of whom I love. It is just fortunate that their school is modern, bright and designed with modern school needs in mind.

Thanks for the info on part time. I will look into it further.

[WellTidy]

Big birth year here too. Most schools became three form entry to accommodate big birth years a few years ago and have had to stay so.

[brightbelle]

Thanks HHH3 are you moving your ds to another school then? It's so great you have so many choices! I am still waiting to hear about EHCP so I can only pick schools near home at the moment - I don't prefer to send her far anyway - and our choices are super limited. Not sure if you've read my other thread but I visited a few close to home and the attitudes of SENCOs just made me uncomfortable as once I mentioned dd needs 1:1 full time according to her current setting the talks of funding, over dependence, parents 'should let go' ... came in from them. I feel very frustrated indeed.

Msqueen do you mind telling me the traits of ADHD of your middle dd when she was younger? I'm a bit concerned my dd may have that too. Went to a parent workshop recently and talked to a parent who has a 7 year old son with ADHD and found out my dd has very similar traits. And, do you think the diagnosis of ADHD (on top of asd) helps in terms of getting support? Is she on meditation if you don't mind me asking? Thanks!

Welltidy is your ds still using PECS? My dd used that for a while and sailed through the first five stages and now she can speak some words and like your ds makes her wants known. She's not using it anymore but I was told by a SENCO (who I feel knows nothing about PECS) that I should continue as this is what specialist unit staff who come to train her and other staff said I felt like saying surely we want PECS as a stepping stone to move to verbal communication and what's the point of asking her to go back to use sentence strip and pictures when she can actually say the words? I don't know to what extent a school is prepared to take parents' view and different bits I've got from different SENCOs just made me feel I will have to fight hard for my dd.

Frog I don't know about part time reception too. But I have no plan to put dd part time as she has been full time in childcare nursery and now preschool. I am hoping she will be ok

[HHH3]

Yes, his nursery (which is lovely) is only a nursery. So he'll have to move on next year. I was starting to feel like I'd never find somewhere and was getting really stressed. Now, although I've got some more to look at, I know I've got a least one I'm happy with.

[Msqueen33]

I suspect my youngest might have ADHD aswell. They struggle to sleep, never stop moving, constantly climbing, jumping, jumping off things, doesn't walk but gallops along, can't sit still, very short concentration, very manic and hyper. Plus a lot more. I'm going to ask the paed to investigate my youngest.

Dd is six and is medicated. She was offered it at four but I declined as I wanted to see if we could do it through behavioural therapy first. When she got into school she got a really good LSA in the November and we developed a really good relationship (she came with me to get dd2 diagnosed). About half way through year 1 she said to me had I reconsidered medications as she just wasn't responding to behavioural therapy. I was apprehensive but its been amazing. If it hadn't had the wow factor we wouldn't have continued but it has made a huge difference. My dh forgot to medicate her one morning and her LSA rang me mid morning and said had she had it because she was so wired. I'll probably look to start my youngest on something if they agree.

A good senco makes such a difference. Ours is so so. But pushy with the LEA so that's good. We'll follow schools advice to a point on hours but if she gets ft support we'll push for longer days.

But yesterday LEA have agreed to give her a plan. They're going to start end of Jan as she moved to a new setting in September and they want her there a bit longer so information is up to date.

[Msqueen33]

Oh god youngest had another's meltdown at play school and stripped off. Even more dreading school now. Off to fall into a vat of chocolate.

[MaterofDragons]

May I join? Haven't been too active on MN lately as up to my eyeballs in EHC crap.

1. Fraternal twin boys 3.9 both nonverbal with severe asd.
   
2. Visiting mainstream and ss.
   
3. Have draft EHCP shocking lack of provision so currently adding my amendments.
   
4. Have a worry/fear of everything to do with their education!

[Msqueen33]

Materofdragons that must be hard having twins. My two who have asd are three years apart in age and it's been really hard.

I hate rubbish ehcp. Our LEA seem pretty good and I get on okay with the senco at our mainstream as dd2 with asd is there.

A lot of parents who have children with Sen say it's a shame there's nothing in between a Sen school and a mainstream I suppose the ideal is a base unit in a mainstream.

Chocolate and wine to all.

[MaterofDragons]

We have some very challenging days! I just wish they had language, it will make their lives so much easier if they could tell me what they want/need/feel. I'm desperate to speak with them. I hate that autism has robbed them of their voice more than anything.

[Msqueen33]

I find that with my dd. She is preverbal so has some words but the lack of language is the thing I find hardest to deal with. I hope like her sister she will gain language. Her 6 yr old sister had very little language and is fully verbal.

[MaterofDragons]

That's wonderful what age did she become fully verbal?

[Msqueen33]

She had some language at 3/4 but nothing conversational more basic functional language. It got better at school and probably about half way through year 1 did she really converse more. She's now just started year 2. I took her to the hair dresser this weekend and she remarked (she doesn't know she has asd) what a chatterbox she is. She's six and a half now and is about to be signed off by salt as it's just practising social language but she can make herself known and we have great chats. So I'm hoping my youngest might come along.

[Mumoftwinsandanother]

Hi can I join

1. DS is 4yrs and 4 months. Was summerborn so we are starting him in reception at 5 (Sept 2017) rather than 4 as we could have. He is in the second year of an excellent nursery attached to a MS primary. He has ASD. He is easy-going, happy and fun. He doesn't seem to struggle with rigidity or sensory much (mild sensory issues that he self-regulates well). He talks (non-stop) but I guess you might say he is language disordered. A lot of what he says doesn't make sense (although he does understand what the language means) and its very hard to have a conversation (although he can make his needs known). He lives in a dream world a lot of the time, he is constantly an imaginary character (but a different one all the time, no obsessions that I can think of). He likes other children although can find them a bit much at times - he plays well with his sisters.
   He won't engage with much of what the teachers tell him at nursery (hates routines etc) but apart from that is generally well-behaved and follows routines at home.
   
   
2. we are looking at MS primary (the one he is at now)
   
   
3. no EHCP, told not necessary at the moment as school is handling his needs and he is progressing well. I am keeping an eye on this as he is still presenting as developmentally delayed/not meeting milestones and I don't think he should be too bad now as he is bright (have also done ABA with him which has been fun and has helped tremendously).
   
   
4. Worried that as he is "high-functioning" (whatever that means, it gets trotted out a lot) he might fall between the cracks, no 1:1 provision, no funding but not quite able to keep up being taught in a group environment. I do trust the school however so will roll with where we are at the moment (he seems happy which is the main thing).
   
   What a helpful thread, sorry if I have gone on a bit.